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You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello is a premium questline that was released on January 9, 2017, during the Homer the Heretic 2017 Event. It requires the character Rabbi Krustofsky.

Quests Edit

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 1 Make Rabbi Krustofsky Attempt a Ghostly Hug and Pass Right Through 4h Cash100
XP10
Rabbi Krustofsky
You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 2 Make Hyman Grudgingly Admit that Kosher Food Tastes like Dirt 4h Cash100
XP10
Rabbi Krustofsky
You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 3 Make Rabbi Krustofsky Go to Shabbat Services
Make Krusty Get Bottle Service
4h
4h
Cash100
XP10
Rabbi Krustofsky
You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 4 Make Krusty Hold the Centerfold Like a Torah
Make Rabbi Krustofsky Actually Read a Torah
4h
4h
Cash100
XP10
Rabbi Krustofsky
You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 5 Make Rabbi Krustofsky Say the Blessing Over the Chocolate Fountain 4h Cash100
XP10
Rabbi Krustofsky

Dialogue Edit

Rabbi Krustofsky Intro Edit

This section was only available during the Homer the Heretic 2017 Event

Character Dialogue
Rabbi Krustofsky Icon Hey God, little favor to ask you: can I go down and help get my son Krusty back on the path to righteousness?
God Icon Not up to me. It's up to Sky Finger.
Rabbi Krustofsky Surprised Icon THAT'S not up to you? Then what do you do, exactly?
God Icon Help professional sports teams win games so they can thank me in the post-game interviews!
Rabbi Krustofsky and his synagogue are now available in the store!
 
— System Message.


You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 1 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Rabbi Krustofsky Icon Hello, Krusty.
Krusty Surprised Icon AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Rabbi Krustofsky Icon No need to worry -- it's me, your father, visiting from Heaven.
Krusty Icon Phew. I thought it was me from the future and I'd become a rabbi.

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Rabbi Krustofsky Icon So, do you want to know what death feels like?
Krusty Icon I know what it's like to die -- I performed in blackface once at the Apollo.

You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 2 Edit

Character Dialogue
Rabbi Krustofsky Icon So what do you usually order at this restaurant?
Krusty Icon The roasted pork, pork and beans, and the pork soup. All served in a plate made from a melted-down menorah.
Rabbi Krustofsky Annoyed Icon Oy vey. Don't they have anything kosher here?
French Waiter Icon Pardon, we do not. But we do have something that tastes like kosher!
French Waiter Icon One large bowl of dirt, rapidement!

You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 3 Edit

Character Dialogue
Krusty Happy Icon Thank God it's Friday!
Rabbi Krustofsky Icon I will when I go back. I assume you'll be resting on the Sabbath?
Krusty Icon Of course! I'll lie on the couch to rest my body, and then I'll put on college football to rest my mind, and then I'll eat pizza to rest my hunger...
Krusty Icon And then in the evening I'll go to the bar to rest my thirst, and then I'll go clubbing to rest the part of me that doesn't go clubbing.

You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 4 Edit

Character Dialogue
Rabbi Krustofsky Icon There's a symposium on Israel at the Temple today. Want to check it out with me?
Krusty Icon Uh...sorry, I can't. I'm busy studying the classic texts.
Rabbi Krustofsky Happy Icon How wonderful! Let me see which ones.
Rabbi Krustofsky Icon Playboy from December 1984?
Krusty Happy Icon Yep, a true classic: the Suzanne Somers issue!

You Say Rabbi, I Say Hello Pt. 5 Edit

Character Dialogue
Rabbi Krustofsky Happy Icon SURPRISE!!!!!!
Krusty Surprised Icon A surprise party? But it's not my birthday.
Rabbi Krustofsky Icon This isn't a birthday party. It's your $150,000 Bar Mitzvah!
Krusty Confused Icon But I already had a Bar Mitzvah.
Rabbi Krustofsky Icon Doesn't matter. Like all Bar Mitzvahs, this is just an excuse for parents to impress their influential friends.
Abraham Lincoln Shades Icon A cotton candy machine AND a make your own sundae bar? You da man, Krustofsky!
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