The Three Compadres is a premium side questline released on April 27, 2016, during the Wild West 2016 Event. It is requires the Bandit Fort, which was offered as a Gil Deal.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
The Three Compadres Pt. 1 Reach Level 12 and Build the Springfield Library*
Make Martin Make Introductions
4h Cash100
Experience10
Auto
The Three Compadres Pt. 2 Make Martin Play Sheriffs and Shootouts
Make Milhouse Play Sheriffs and Shootouts
Make Database GM Sheriffs and Shootouts**
8h
8h
8h
Cash100
Experience10
Martin
The Three Compadres Pt. 3 Make Martin Reconnoiter
Make Milhouse Reconnoiter
Make Database Reconnoiter**
12h
12h
12h
Cash100
Experience10
Martin
The Three Compadres Pt. 4 Make Martin Lead the Assault
Make Vigilantes Assault the Bandit Fort (x3)
4h
4h
Cash100
Experience10
Skinner

*Only appears if the player hasn't unlocked Martin.
**Only appears if the player has unlocked Database.

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

The Three Compadres Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Martin Happy Icon.png What a lovely fort! It will be a pleasure to pretend we're real-life Western outlaws in here!
Bandito Icon.png Who are you, ese?
Martin Icon.png Allow me to introduce my friends. This young gunslinger is The Asthma Kid.
Milhouse Icon.png Hi! I look forward to rolling dice with you fine gentlemen!
Database Icon.png You may call me the Game Master. I think I've earned it.
Martin Icon.png And I am El Serpiente, bold, brazen outlaw leader!

The Three Compadres Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Bandito Icon.png El Serpiente, the men are hungry for action. What will our first job be?
Martin Icon.png I was thinking we might role play a daring train robbery scenario!
Database Icon.png I believe I have some tables detailing the hit points of various in-game locomotives. Let me find those...
Martin Icon.png Desperados! You heard the man! Grab your dice and your character sheets!
Bandito Confused Icon.png Dice, Serpiente?

All Objectives Started[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Database Icon.png Behind a secret door in the coal car, you find a treasure horde filled with piñatas!
Bandito Confused Icon.png Piñatas? That's all we get?
Martin Icon.png We've also gained valuable experience points. Soon you'll be a second-level bandito, my good man.

The Three Compadres Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Bandito Icon.png So... when do we rob the actual train?
Database Icon.png But we've already done it! Bards will sing of our deeds for years to come! Huzzah!
Bandito Icon.png I get that you want to carefully plan our capers, El Serpiente, but there are real-world trains that need robbing.
Martin Surprised Icon.png ...real world?...
Martin Lying Icon.png Uhhh... of course! We will rob a real world train posthaste! Just let me and my compatriots reconnoiter the crime scene for a tad. Won't be a moment!
Bandito Icon.png Well, hurry up. Idle bandits are not happy bandits.

All Objectives Started[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Database Annoyed Icon.png What have we gotten into? These are real bandits!
Martin Surprised Icon.png And they're dishonest gamesmen! One of them claimed to have rolled a natural 20, when clearly it was a 10.
Milhouse Scared Icon.png What kind of animal would lie about a die roll?
Martin Icon.png We'll talk to Principal Skinner. He'll know what to do!

The Three Compadres Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Skinner Puzzled Icon.png Real bandits, you say?
Martin Icon.png Yes, Principal Skinner. We need to lead an offensive before they attack the town!
Skinner Icon.png They have guns and a willingness to use them. But we have our strengths as well. My unmatched cowardice, for one.
Sea Captain Icon.png I'm largely made of wood at this point. Legs, arms, neck... It's almost impossible to find flesh on me to shoot.
Comic Book Guy Icon.png I have a plan to infiltrate the enemy camp. My tactical genius is at your service.
Comic Book Guy Happy Icon.png Quick everyone, to the theatrical supplies cupboard!

All Objectives Started[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Bandito Excited Icon.png Hey, look! Somebody left us a big wooden sombrero as a gift. Let's drag it into the fort!
Brute Icon.png Good idea. Then let's get drunk and fall asleep next to it.
Bandito Happy Icon.png There's nothing like passing out next to a huge wooden gift. Especially when you have no idea what -- or who -- might be inside it.

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Martin Icon.png Surrender, evil-doers! We have you surrounded!
Bandito Confused Icon.png It's El Serpiente!
Bandito Angry Icon.png That backstabbing varmint has stabbed us backstabbing varmints in the back!
Martin Angry Icon.png Lay down your weapons, or I'll let Willie here loose on the lot of you.
Bandito Confused Icon.png You mean the Scottish maniac who has a rake instead of a gun?
Martin Icon.png Trust me, he knows how to use that rake. Oh yes, he does...
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