The Texan With No Shame is a quest chain featuring the Rich Texan.
Quests[]
| Quest | Requirements | Time | Triggered By |
|---|---|---|---|
| The Texan With No Shame Pt. 1 | Reach Level 6 and Build Cletus's Farm Make Cletus Go to a Tea Party Rally Make The Rich Texan Go to a Tea Party Rally |
- 24h 60m |
The Rich Texan |
| The Texan With No Shame Pt. 2 | Make The Rich Texan Celebrate Cowboy Style | 24h | The Rich Texan |
| The Texan With No Shame Pt. 3 | Make The Rich Texan Ride the Mechanical Bull | 12h | The Rich Texan |
| The Texan With No Shame Pt. 4 | Reach Level 11 and Build the Cooling Towers Make the Rich Texan Visit the Track Make Mr. Burns Visit the Track |
- 3h 3h |
The Rich Texan |
| The Texan With No Shame Pt. 5 | Make The Rich Texan Lobby Agenda with Mayor Quimby | ||
| The Texan With No Shame Pt. 6 | Make The Rich Texan Celebrate Cowboy Style |
Dialogue[]
The Texan With No Shame Pt. 1[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
"Yee Haw!" |
|
"Always nice to see a fellow libertarian around here." |
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"As one of our leading benefactors of government handouts, you might want to rehink your pro-Tea Party position." |
|
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"Nonsense, little lady! Jobless, clueless rubes like Cletus here are the lifeblood upon which the Tea Party's secret corporate backers suck. That came out wrong. I meant to say, "freedom freedom freedom freedom." |
The Texan With No Shame Pt. 2[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
"I'm bored. You know the problem with having everything? You end up needing nothing. It's horrible!" |
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"Yeah... that sounds rough. Hey, I know. You could buy a football team! Like your fellow rich Texan, Jerry Jones. Only YOUR team could win once in a while." |
|
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"I love it! But football stadiums are expensive. Unless you can find a city gullible enough to buy one for you..." |
|
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"Welcome to Springfield, football!" |
The Texan With No Shame Pt. 3[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
"I want our football stadium to have it all. The biggest scoreboard! The largest cheerleaders! The heaviest footballs! And in every corporate suite, the most violent mechanical bull money can buy!" |
The Texan With No Shame Pt. 4[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
"Monty, your estate is sitting right where I want to build my new football stadium. How much you want for it?" |
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"Listen up, New Money -- not everything is for sale. This is the home where my forefathers lived and murdered each other for a bigger share of the family fortune. It has sentimental value." |
|
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"Then how about a bet? A friendly wager between bitter enemies." |
|
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"A bet, eh? I wager my home, and you put up what?" |
|
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"My cowboy hat. It's the one Daniel Boone was born, lived, and died in. Very special." |
|
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"Agreed. Off to the dog track we go!" |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
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"I win! Though the outcome was never in doubt. That dog and I went to Wharton together." |
The Texan With No Shame Pt. 5[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
"Why is it so hard to build a simple football stadium? Homer, I thought you said this town was ripe for the plundering." |
|
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"Well, it's a tough economy. There are two kinds of currency, and one of them is donuts of all things. But we do boast one the corruptest mayors this side of Uzbekistan. You should go bribe him." |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
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"Mayor Quimby, you are easily bought. I admire that in a man." |
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"You'll have your football stadium, even if I have to accept a thousand bribes to make it so!" |
|
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"Now all I gotta do is convince an NFL team to move here." |
The Texan With No Shame Pt. 6[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
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"I can't convince any football teams to come to Springfield! How come no one told me you people have the lowest income in the civilized world?" |
|
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"Don't forget our high crime rate, abysmal environmental track record, lousy schools, the near-constant rioting, rogue tidal waves..." |
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"And we arm our homeless and then proceed to taunt them. It's not a good policy." |
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"Every time I come close to sealing the deal, the team moves to Los Angeles. How many teams does that football-crazy town need?" |
|
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"I'm awful sorry you didn't get to realize your dream of screwing us all over. But at least you're still rich." |
|
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"You're right! Nothing makes you happy like money!" |
Trivia[]
- Some players experience problems with The Rich Texan's 12 hour task 'Ride the Mechanical Bull' as once the Player has set him on the job and quit the game, he stops and starts walking around the player's Springfield again. This meant that the only way for players to progress with his quests was to pay 6 Donuts to finish the task instantly.