The Simpson Genome Project is a premium questline released on May 30, 2017, during the Time Traveling Toaster 2017 Event. It requires the premium character Hollis Hurlbut.
Quests[]
| Quest | Requirements | Time | Reward | Triggered By |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 1 | Make Lisa Get a Genetic Test Make Hollis Hurlbut Send Tests Away for Study |
4h 4h |
 100  10
|
Hollis Hurlbut |
| The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 2 | Make Hollis Hurlbut Alter the Facts | 4h | 100 10
|
Hollis Hurlbut |
| The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 3 | Make Lisa Get Further Testing Make Homer Go in for Testing |
4h 4h |
100 10
|
Hollis Hurlbut |
| The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 4 | Make Lisa Study Neanderthal History Make Homer Skip Work |
4h 4h |
200 20
|
Hollis Hurlbut |
Dialogue[]
The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 1[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
DNA analysis has opened the floodgates of historical inquiry. |
|
Anyone interested in a free DNA swab? Learn your family's genetic roots? |
|
Of course! I'd LOVE to know what great peoples of the past I'm related to. |
|
Lisa, I'm not sure the genetic soup that made me and Bart is a tasty one... |
The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 2[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
The results are in! The Simpson gene is overwhelmingly Neanderthal! |
|
Well, I did hear every person of Eurasian descent has a TINY amount of Neanderthal in them... |
|
|
It would be more precise to say the Simpsons have a tiny amount of human in them. |
|
I don't suppose you'd be willing to change that result? For my peace of mind? |
|
|
Lisa, I'm a historian. Twisting the evidence in whatever way is most convenient is what I do. Consider it done! |
The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 3[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
It's amazing that primitive cavemen could survive into modern times. You should be so proud, Cave Lisa. |
|
I'm a straight-A student! I'm not a caveman! |
|
|
Well, I'll run a few more tests. But Neanderthals DID have larger craniums. It all fits, you see. |
|
NOTHING FITS! RUN MORE TESTS! |
End[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
Homer, Lisa, you both have the largest heads I've ever recorded. |
|
That's why I'm so smart. Smart as an ape, they all say! |
|
|
Such fascinating primate behavior. What a discovery! |
|
|
I'M NOT A DISCOVERY AND NEITHER IS MY DAD! |
The Simpson Genome Project Pt. 4[]
Start[]
| Character | Dialogue |
|---|---|
|
|
Lisa, as a peace offering, I brought you a present. |
|
|
Here. A shank of wild boar. I know how your people love big meat shanks. |
|
Save it. If I'm a Neanderthal, then I am going to celebrate my history. |
|
Besides, do you have any idea how interesting this will look on a college application? Yale, here I come! |
|
And I get to go on disability! |