Make Kumiko Eat America’s Saddest Fast Food Make Homer Eat America’s Saddest Fast Food
60m
Dialogue[]
The Saddest Town in America Prologue[]
Character
Dialogue
"Dad, great news! There’s a new episode of The Simpsons airing this weekend!
"We’re still on that air? I thought that ended years ago? Aren’t we just a game now?
"No, we’re still on. And we’re one of the most popular shows on broadcast network television."
"Broadcast network television? I thought that ended years ago too."
"Dad! Stop it! Can’t just you be happy for our show’s continued success?"
"Why should I?"
In Game Message
In honor of the show’s continued success, enjoy this never-before-seen character who’ll be appearing in the upcoming episode.
"A free character? Woo-hoo! Go, continued success, go!"
The Saddest Town in America Pt. 1[]
Character
Dialogue
"Ah, Springfield! I can’t think of a better way to finish my tour of America’s saddest cities."
"What about Detroit? Or Flint? Or pretty much anything in Michigan?"
"I said sad, not imploding." "Would you mind if I captured your image, in order to always remember our meeting?"
"You mean take my photo?"
"Please, Japanese people taking photos is the stereotype of my father’s generation." "I wish to sketch you in my overly-cute-for-a-woman-my-age Hello Kitty notebook."
"Well, okay. But let me turn to the side a little. I’m told I’m easier to draw that way."
The Saddest Town in America Pt. 2[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Before, the sadness of Springfield made me happy. But now I’m remembering happy times in Japan, which makes me sad."
"We have a word for that here — homesick. Also, crazy. Maybe it would cheer you up if I showed you around?"
"I would like that. Perhaps take me to your place of business."
"Uh… How about I show you the Kwik-E-Mart instead?"
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Cookies? Candy bars? Cup-o-soups? This store just sells things you could find in an American vending machine." "I wish to see something more unusual and exotic, like the things you find in a Japanese vending machine!"
"We do have magazines."
"Do any of them have racy adult content yet look like they were drawn for children?"
"No."
"Then again I am sad."
The Saddest Town in America Pt. 3[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Still mopey, eh?"
"Yes, a bit. Perhaps a traditional Japanese meal would cure my homesickness."
"Great. So now I have to build that sushi restaurant?"
"No, I was taking about going to Krusty Burger. There’s one every block where I come from."
"I knew there was a reason Japanese obesity was on the rise. Count me in!"
"It is just like the Krusty Burger in my own village. Only you can’t get sake with your meal."
"Sake? That’s rice wine! Can you really get booze in fast food restaurants in Japan?"
"I don’t know. But it sounds like something that could be true."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Hey Kumiko! It looks like you finally cheered up, huh?"
"No, I am still sad. And the fact that you racistly cannot read emotion on Japanese faces makes me sadder."
"What?! No, I… the sun was in my eyes."
"Perhaps I just miss my family… especially my short-sighted and controlling father. I wish he were here."
"Well, that’s one thing I've never said about MY father." "But maybe you could have your father come visit?" "Or maybe you’ll meet someone new who’ll make you forget all about your sadness?" "And maybe that will all happen this weekend, on a show I recently learned is still on TV."
“
To find out what happens to Kumiko, tune in to this Sunday’s episode of The Simpsons, 8/7c on FOX. Or don’t. But we did just give you a free character. Just saying…