"Marge is still sore at me for getting hooked on non-addictive magic booze and becoming a murderous psychopath."
"How can I win her back?"
"I dunno… buy her a dress or somethin’."
"That’s it! But not just any dress… a magic dress. One that makes her into a lady wizard!"
"Look, Homer. I wasn't gonna say nuthin. But you been hitting the purple sauce pretty hard lately. Maybe you should cut back." " Just a little. And this is me talking. I got a pretty high tolerance for watching people destroy themselves with intoxicants."
"The most beautiful and powerful lady wizard in all of new crazy Medieval Springfield! La de dah de dah de dah"
"A robe? You got me a robe? I already have that robe you “accidentally” took home from the Iowa City Airport Sheraton." "Where, we can now never go back, which is too bad because they had a great yogurt selection in the breakfast bar."
"It’s not a robe. It’s a cloak. A magical cloak."
"So now you’re trying to involve me in this weirdo pretend cult of yours? No thanks."
"And your lady wizard cloak lets you blast people with fireballs."
"Just say “wizard.” “Lady Wizard” is sexist. Would you say “Lady Doctor”?"
"Yes. Yes, I would."
"I don’t know. I've never once wanted to blast anyone with a fireball."
" Well… there was that one time Helen Lovejoy took all the corner pieces from the brownies at the bake sale and put them on a plate like she baked them — charging 50 cents more." "Of course you can charge more — they’re corner pieces!"
"Maybe just a few fireballs to her rose garden would even the score."
"They sure would." "Is Helen even a character in the game?