The Old Man and the Sea is a quest chain dealing with the Squidport. It features Horatio McCallister. This quest starts after Squidport Pt. 4.


A list of all the included quests are listed below:

Quest Requirements Reward
The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 1 Place Sea Captain Houseboat Cash
The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 2 Make Sea Captain Tell A Tall Tale Cash
The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 3 Make Sea Captain Read Nautical Literature Cash
The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 4 Make Sea Captain Practice Standup Routine Cash
The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 5 Make Sea Captain Pray to Poseidon Cash


The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 1Edit

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon "Uh-oh, did I blow another brain vessel? I think I'm hallucinating a house out there... in the ocean."
"No, it's real! It's some kind of house/boat hybrid! Hmmm, I wonder what you call that?"

The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 2Edit

Character Dialogue
Sea Captain Icon "Y'arr, who be doing all the squalling and cussing at the sea? Ye made me sailors blush. Seriously, some of them cried."
Homer Icon "Sorry, sometimes I have a potty mouth. Anyhoo, who the F@#& are you?"
Sea Captain Icon "Captain McCallister. Just let in from a long haul at sea."
"Been at Madagascar and at Malabar and spent half a hundred days floating 'round that giant garrrbage patch in the Pacific."
"Y'arr, that last one tweren't intentional."
"But sit ye down and have a yarn with the Captain. I'll tell of a ship that near went under, her belly laden with counterfeit Kindle Fires."
Homer Icon "Eh, I'm not really much of listening to people."
Sea Captain Icon "Did I mention thar'd be rum by the bucketfull?"
Homer Icon "Yarn away! Don't leave anything out!"

The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 3Edit

Character Dialogue
Sea Captain Icon "Now, my hearties, bring her about and get her braced in a broach and ye can lay to that!"
"Because... um, at three bells... as the crow flies... er... sextant..."
Lisa Icon "Is everything okay, Sea Captain?"
Sea Captain Icon "I've been running put of nautical jargon to pepper me conversation with. Which is hard because, ye know, it's my thing."
Lisa Icon "You could pick up jargon from classic tales of the sea like, "Treasure Island" or "Moby Dick"."
Sea Captain Icon "Brilliant! You're like one of them, ye know, light... buildings that shine for boats and stuff when the weather is.. not good..."
"Y'arr, I'd best get to readin'."

The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 4Edit

Character Dialogue
Sea Captain Icon "When ye're crossing a great ocean and ye got miles of time ahead of ye, it's the perfect opportunity to hone new skills.‎"
Homer Icon "Like what? Knot tying, knife throwing, shark punching?‎"
Sea Captain Icon "Nay! I was able to work up a solid stand up set.‎"
"Here's my opener: We all know the difference between a Quartermaster and Boatswain, right? 'Bout 20K a year Ba-dum-bump!‎"
Homer Icon "What language are you speaking?‎"
Sea Captain Icon "Y'arr, I'm still workshoppin' a lot of this.‎"

The Old Man and the Sea Pt. 5Edit

Character Dialogue
Sea Captain Icon "Y'arr, I have depleted the ocean of all her delicious sea life."
"What Homer did to my restaurant, I did to Poseidon's endless wonderland. So, I can see how he'd be sore at me."
"It's going ta take a bit o' sweet talkin' to get the bounty of the sea flowing again."
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