The Old Man and the 'Sino is a limited time main questline for Act 1 of the Burns' Casino 2016 Event . The first 10 parts were released on February 23, 2016 and the final part was released on March 3, 2016. It requires level 6 to start, Mr. Burns to continue past Pt. 4, and level 15 for Pt. 10.
Quests [ ]
* Only appears if the player has Moe
** Only appears if the player has Smithers
Dialogue [ ]
The Old Man and the 'Sino Pt. 1 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
With additional land now available along the side of town, it's time for us to make a decision.Note:Shown at or above Level 40 only.
Good news! The EPA has shut down the toxic waste dump at the edge of town.
We can do whatever we want with the chemical-filled wasteland. Ideas?
Build an after-school center for disadvantaged kids.
A river-walk beside the sludge sloughs!
A kitten sanctuary!
A toxic waste dump!
The Old Man and the 'Sino Pt. 2 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
This open and democratic discussion of the town's future is getting us nowhere.
It's time to let a wealthy businessman tell us what he plans to do.
What this town needs is more fun and games.
And the most fun kind of games are gaming games.
I shall build a “Center for Gaming,” accompanied by rooms for sleeping and tables for eating and drinking.
He means a casino!
Oh, is that what it's called?
I'm afraid we'll have to say no, Mr. Burns. Springfield is a family town.
That's right. We're not a swanky gambling town, like Laughlin, Nevada.
What if I guaranteed one free drink?
Woo hoo! Free drink!
The Old Man and the 'Sino Pt. 3 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
I'm tired of standing behind a bar.
I'm gonna get a job in the casino and stand behind a blackjack table.
There's jobs at the craps table too, if you is highly educated.
You have to be able to add up to 12.
What about you, Homer? You gonna get a job and move on up like the rest of us?
Can't talk. Buffet.
The Old Man and the 'Sino Pt. 4 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
Getting a job at this casino was a great career move.
I've learned so much more about getting money out of drunks.
I think I'll open my own slots joint, if that's okay with you, Mr. Burns.
Perfect! Let's make Springfield a gambling Mecca.
Maybe you can give *me* a job, and I'll steal towels from *your* bathroom.
There won't be no towels.
The Old Man and the 'Sino Pt. 5 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
Eh, what's this funny looking token?
It says “Use Token To Play Casino Games.”
So the token is like real money, except it doesn't have pictures of old losers on it.
It's virtually a currency!
System Message
Use tokens to play casino games. Watch out for chances to cheat. We're on your side - trust us!
The Old Man and the 'Sino Pt. 6 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
Hey, you. Don't leave the casino! You might feel sunlight on your neck or have to breathe non-smoke-filled air.
It's eight AM. I've been gambling all night.
But morning is the luckiest time of the day. A lot of times, bacon shows up.
It doesn't just “show up.” I cook it by the metric ton!
Look, I want to keep gambling, but I think my wife might be giving birth right now.
Then start your kid off right in life, by putting all your savings on black.
System Message
Tap gamblers to send them back to the Casino and earn rewards.
The Old Man and the 'Sino Pt. 7 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
Casino gaming: another successful initiative by Diamond Joe Quimby.
Bringing my career record to 3 successes and 207 utter disasters.
We haven't seen so many jobs created here since the Feds built that dam in the Depression.
Is that the dam that burst in 1976 and destroyed downtown?
Focus on the positive. It also wiped out Shelbyville.
System Message
What's a gambling Mecca without high rollers? Get the Rich Texan and add some gun-shooting class to this event.
The Old Man and the 'Sino Pt. 8 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
Smithers, it's wonderful that at my time of life, I have a chance to give back to the community…
By addicting them to gambling.
You're maybe too generous, sir.
The dealers cheat to help the players, the buffet is “All-you-can-carry-away-in-bag…”
And you give white tiger cubs to anyone who visits on their birthday.
Yes, I need an army of tiger poachers, but birthdays are special.
Sir, you've done something unheard of: created a casino that loses money.
The Old Man and the 'Sino Pt. 9 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
I wish everyone wasn't so excited about organized gambling.
Admit it, Marge. You don't like it when people have fun.
That's because fun equals dangerous.
Even the most fun thing in the world: knitting. I've poked myself so many times.
I'm going to do the one thing that's fun *and* safe.
Worry.
The Old Man and the 'Sino Pt. 10 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
‘Night, Marge. I'm headed to the casino.
Mmm. You know I like it better when you leave me alone with the children by going to Moe's.
But the casino never makes me feel bad about being there! At Moe's even the cockroaches are judgmental.
It's almost as if Mr. Burns set out to convince us to support legalized gambling no matter what.
But that's silly. Wealthy businessmen never have a hidden agenda. Otherwise I wouldn't be voting for Donald Trump.
Agreed, Marge. Let's all be distracted by fun games while rich people control our future.
System Message
Keep gambling until March 3rd when the next casino expansion becomes available!
The Old Man and the 'Sino Pt. 11 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
I've decided to succeed in the tradition of hillbilly trash - by opening a sinful den of dice play.
Wonderful! Let's build a whole casino strip. More fun for every lout.
I may go to hell for gambling, but I will give my children a better life.
They'll go to hell for smarty-pants investment fraud.
Quest Map
Promotionals
Regular Quest · Premium Quest
2012 2013 2014 2015 2016