The Mighty Bucks
Release Date
June 23, 2015
The Mighty Bucks is a limited time side quest chain involving the character Mr. Burns and his Softball Mr. Burns 's new costume released on June 23, 2015, during the Tap Ball 2015 Event 's Act 1.
Quests [ ]
Quest
Requirements
Time
Reward
Triggered By
The Mighty Bucks Pt. 1
Make Softball Mr. Burns Learn What Softball Is
4h
100, 10
Mr. Burns
The Mighty Bucks Pt. 2
Make Softball Mr. Burns Signal Plays Make Kids Play Softball (x5)
8h 12h
100, 10
Mr. Burns
The Mighty Bucks Pt. 3
Make Softball Mr. Burns Yell at Children Make Milhouse Look Up to a New Father Figure
12h 12h
100, 10
Mr. Burns
The Mighty Bucks Pt. 4
Make Softball Mr. Burns Bond with Milhouse
8h
100, 10
Mr. Burns
The Mighty Bucks Pt. 5
Make Softball Mr. Burns Watch the Game Make Kids Play Softball (x4) Make Milhouse Compete with His Own Team
12h 12h 12h
100, 10
Mr. Burns
Dialogue [ ]
The Mighty Bucks Pt. 1 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
"Excuse me, sir. Do you remember that traffic ticket we received for running a red light?"
"Pah! Red lights only apply to the poor, the middle class, the rich, and the ultra-rich. I'm super-ultra-class-double-five-star-stupid rich!"
"Or does that title no longer hold any meaning in our society? We need to contest this ticket all the way to the United States Supreme Court!"
"We did. We lost 5-4."
"I thought when we got shadow arch-conservative Sonia Sotomayor appointed to the Court, they'd finally look out for us wealthy folk."
"I suppose we'll just have to content ourselves with owning the Executive and Legislative branches of government."
"There's more, sir. As punishment for wasting millions of dollars of taxpayer money, they've sentenced you to community service."
"You have to do 100 hours coaching a local youth softball team."
"Oh. Could be worse. Lovely game, softball. Played with a hoop, a tin can and a Winchester rifle, if memory serves?"
The Mighty Bucks Pt. 2 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
"Listen up, you disgusting, malformed half-adults! This softball team does not tolerate losing!"
"To that end, you ignorant pre-humans, you will follow my instructions at all times!"
"When I dust my left sleeve, that means steal a base."
"When I touch my cap, cheat. I don't care how. I just want to see rules being broken."
"I thought sports were about doing your best and playing fair?"
"When I tug at my ear, it means everybody slap the do-gooder and teach him a lesson!"
"I'm tugging my ear right now, people..."
The Mighty Bucks Pt. 3 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
"I just wanted to thank you for devoting your valuable time to better the lives of us kids."
"Am I bettering them? That was not my intent."
"I'm here to win. But, if I can permanently scar some young minds in the process, well, that's all to the good."
"We're going to play our hardest for you, Coach."
"How very kind. Please, call me Generalissimo."
The Mighty Bucks Pt. 4 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
"Why are you following me around like one of those small, non-lethal mini-hounds?"
"You mean a puppy?"
"Yes, those things."
"I thought maybe if I observed a successful man in action, it might help me."
"There's nothing that would upset me more than to help a fellow human."
"Life is about fighting and clawing and nuisance-suing for what you want."
"That's wonderful advice. You're very good at this."
"I do not wish to be, you annoying nitwit. I very sincerely don't."
"I was thinking maybe we could have a game of catch? You could dispense life lessons while we do it."
"Smithers could be made to throw and catch in my stead. There's a good lesson for you: lackeys make everything easier. Get one."
"Wow. Thanks, Coach."
The Mighty Bucks Pt. 5 [ ]
Start [ ]
Character
Dialogue
"It's the day of the big game. Milhouse, my protégé, what are Burns' Rules of Sport?"
"Play unfair, don't have fun, always be taunting, and keep your eye on your wallet."
"Excellent. Now go out there and make me proud. Or at least less disgusted with you than I currently am."
"Above all, be wary. Especially those who would call themselves your “teammates.” They'll be the first to stab you in the back."
End [ ]
Character
Dialogue
"It's the final inning. The Van Houten boy is coming up to bat."
"I feel like a proud tyrant, Smithers."
"Sir, look at the time. Your 100 hours of community service just ended."
"Oh, good! Start the car."
"Coach Burns! You can't leave us now!"
"Can and shall! It's called “Lane Kiffin's Law,” and it goes like this:"
"“Preach loyalty to your players, but abandon them the moment a better offer comes along.” Ah, the beauty of sport!"
Trivia [ ]
Gallery [ ]
Quest Map
Promotionals
Regular Quest · Premium Quest
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