Hey, look at this classified ad for the Arcturus Modelling Agency. I'm a shoo in!
"Seeking fat, middle-aged, bald man with background in nuclear safety". Dad, don't you think this ad is suspiciously targeted at you?
Just because I have one of those things -- a background in nuclear safety?
Also, since when do we get the newspaper? When does ANYONE get the paper?
Well, I can't ignore a tiny ad in a dead paper. I'm off to catch my big break!
End[]
Character
Dialogue
V'elcome, Mr. Simpson. Vee have been expecting you.
How did you know vy name?!
How many Mr. Simpsons can there be in the world?
Umm...
You don't have to answer that.
The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 2[]
Character
Dialogue
So what kind of nude modelling is this?
No one said anything about nude: please put your pants back on.
Come with me, Mr. Simpson. We must get you in hair and makeup.
Good luck improving on this beefcake.
Mmm... beef cake.
The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 3[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
Hair and muzzle makeup wasn't so hard – I don't see what all those models are complaining about.
Homer, you must initiate Project Lazarus. Gather minions and form your own superpower.
Oh, no! I've developed a judgmental inner voice, like all models!
The voice you hear is coming from the headset we gave you.
I THOUGHT you were different from the voices I usually hear.
End[]
Character
Dialogue
Well done. Now we will brainwash the masses into hating their own government.
Way ahead of you, creepy voice. I already told people postage stamps were going up two cents.
The masses are collecting pitchforks and lighting torches now.
The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 4[]
Character
Dialogue
It's time to establish a base of operations: somewhere to conduct our various acts of subterfuge.
How 'bout Krusty Burger? They've got free WiFi and a new seven-patty burger, called the Widowmaker. It makes funerals fun again!
This will be a brand new state-of-the-art facility, not some slop factory. I've set up an account for you with near-unlimited funds.
Thanks, but I'll just get Sky Finger to pay for it.
The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 5[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
You've done well, Homer. I think it's time we met. Look behind you.
A talking car?! I knew they were real!
No, Homer, over here.
Mr. Scorpio? I thought you... you know... died.
You can't kill an idea, Homer – just break many of its bones, collapse some of its organs and force it into hiding. But I'm back, and I want you to be my number two.
A fella always dreams of meeting a number one who needs a number two!
End[]
Character
Dialogue
Look out, Martin Shkreli! I'll be back on top of Forbes Most Evil Employers list in a heartbeat.
They just call that "Top CEOs" now.
The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 6[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
The key to any intelligence agency is the intelligence: you've got to have more eyes than Mississippi.
That would be four. We'll need more than that.
Willie can hide cameras everywhere and watch ‘em all from me custodian's closet.
I appreciate the disturbing offer, but we need to think bigger. I'm talking global positioning satellite levels of peeping tomfoolery.
In my day, we used to just root through people's garbage.
Hey, you're talkin' about my home there!
End[]
Character
Dialogue
Uh oh, I think I broke something.
What, that flash? Drones have a tendency to overload like that.
Lucky for us, it also wipes the memory of anyone who looks at it and sends them packing.
You did cover your eyes for that, didn't you?
Um... what answer doesn't make me look stupid...?
Pretty Fly for a WiFi[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
Someone has been trying to hack into our network, and I'm afraid I've discovered whom.
That's good news. Is it the FBI? NSA? CIA? Please don't tell me… the WNBA?
I'm afraid it's YOU.
Oh, God: my only equal.
I should say, alternate yous. Or is it parallel? Sorry, I was sick on review day at the university.
We've got to beat me at my own game: it's hack or be hacked.
“
The Hacker's Upgrade Kit is now available in the store! Get it now to earn double rewards from hacking.
”
— System Message.
End[]
Character
Dialogue
So much data. I don't have to actually read through all this, do I?
The point of espionage isn't what you DO with the information, just that you HAVE it.
Woo-hoo! Just as I suspected: reading is for suckers.
The Man Who Knew Too Little Pt. 7[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
We're wasting too much time and energy on putting out fires.
So we should be starting fires?
When the heat is on, one needs to be a master of disguise and hide in plain sight.
Way ahead of you.
Take that off, Homer.
Homer who? I'm Admiral Troutpuncher of Her Majesty's Royal Navy.
Oh, brother.
Objective 1 done[]
Character
Dialogue
From here, we can construct an arsenal of everyday items, that are secretly something else.
Like that toilet in your office that's also a water fountain.