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The Krusty-est Place On Earth is the main quest chain that was released with the Krustyland Expansion. It is the longest quest chain ever to be released for The Simpsons: Tapped Out, with 41 quests. The sidebar image for the quest chain can be seen to the right - it shows a complete Krustyland. When the player has completed all 41 of the quests, they may convert their Krustyland Tickets into cash at the Krustyland Entrance. To be able to complete all of the quests, the player must be Level 29 or over at the end, as the quests require progressively higher levels throughout the quest chain. However, the player may start the quest chain at Level 25 , it is just that a higher Level is needed every several quests to advance.

Quests[]

Quest Requirements Time Reward
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 1 Build the Krustyland Shuttlebus
Tap the Shuttlebus and go to Krustyland
Cash100
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 2 Make Homer Cleanup Krustyland Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 3 Build the Krustyland Entrance Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 4 Place Krustyland Paths Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 5 Place the Ring Toss Stall Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 6 Make Cletus Run the Ring Toss Stall
Make Homer Play at the Ring Toss Game (x3)
4h
4h
Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 7 Build the Death Drop Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 8 Make Bart Ride the Death Drop
Make Lisa Ride the Death Drop
Make Milhouse Ride the Death Drop
Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 9 Buy a Krustyland Expansion Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 10 Reach Level 21 and Build Krustyland Krusty Burger Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 11 Make Homer Eat at Krustyland Krusty Burger
Make Bart Ride the Death Drop
Make Milhouse Eat at Krustyland Krusty Burger
Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 12 Place the Knock Over the Fuzzy Guy Stall
Make Martin Try Knock Over the Fuzzy Guy
Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 13 Reach Level 22 and Build Sleeping Itchy's Castle Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 14 Make Krusty Get Serious Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 15 Place Sideshow You Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 16 Reach Level 23 and Build the Itchy and Scratchy Gift Shop Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 17 Make Comic Book Guy Visit the Gift Shop Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 18 Place Garbage Cans Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 19 Make Wiggum Collect Krustyland Bribes Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 20 Make Wiggum Eat at Krustyland Krusty Burger
Make Wiggum Take Part in a Sing-Along
Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 21 Reach Level 24 and Build Radioactive Man: The Ride Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 22 Make Comic Book Guy Ride Radioactive Man: The Ride
Make Bart Ride Radioactive Man: The Ride
Make Milhouse Ride Radioactive Man: The Ride
Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 23 Hire a Krustyland Mascot Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 24 Reach Level 25 and Build The Food Needle Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 25 Make Comic Book Guy Eat at The Food Needle Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
Nelson will appear in Krustyland
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 26 Reach Level 26 and Build the Wet-and-Smokey Stunt Show Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 27 Make Nelson Watch the Stunt Show
Make Lisa Watch the Stunt Show
12h
12h
Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 28 Place a Cotton Candy Stand Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 29 Build Krusty's Haunted Condo Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 30 Make Lisa Tour the Haunted Condo
Make Nelson Tour the Haunted Condo
8h

8h

Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 31 Reach Level 27 and Build Scratchy's Flea Dipper 1d 12h Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 32 Make Nelson Ride Scratchy's Flea Dipper
Make Lisa Watch the Stunt Show
Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 33 Reach Level 28 and Build the Viking Boat 1d 12h Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 34 Make Carl Ride the Viking Boat
Make Lenny Ride the Viking Boat
4h
4h
Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 35 Make Carl Eat at The Food Needle
Make Lenny Eat at The Food Needle
Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 36 Build the Krustyland Hotel 2d Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 37 Make Lenny Stay at the Krustyland Hotel
Make Carl Stay at the Krustyland Hotel
Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 38 Reach Level 29 and Build the Duff Pavilion 1d 12h Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 39 Make Homer Visit the Duff Pavilion Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 40 Build The Tooth Chipper 5d Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10
The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 41 Make Bart Ride The Tooth Chipper 24h
24h
Krustyland Tickets20
Experience10

Characters Who Can Go to Krustyland[]

Character Requires
Homer The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 1
Krusty The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 1
Cletus The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 5
Sideshow Mel The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 5
Lisa The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 6
Bart The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 6
Kearney The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 6
Milhouse The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 7
Martin The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 11
Skinner The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 11
Otto The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 11
Comic Book Guy The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 15
Wiggum The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 18
Squeaky Voice Teen The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 18
Hans Moleman The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 18
Nelson The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 25
Lenny The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 32
Carl The Krusty-est Place on Earth Pt. 32
Marge Win and place Tunnel of Love
Place Krusty's Giant Wheel
Princess Penelope Place Krusty's Giant Wheel
Eddie Place Krusty's Giant Wheel
Lou Place Krusty's Giant Wheel
Sherri and Terri Place Krusty's Giant Wheel

Dialogue[]

Guest Tutorial[]

When you get 1 star on your Krust-O-Meter.

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon "Hey! Who are all these people?"
Krusty Icon "The dregs of humanity... or as we call them here at Krustyland, customers."
"As we rebuild Krustyland there's gonna be more and more of these losers streaming in."
Homer Icon "I don't follow…"
Krusty Icon "As you improve Krustyland you increase the park's rating on the Krust-O-Meter goes up."
"A higher Krust-O-Meter rating means more paying customers!"
Lisa Icon "So you're saying as the Krust-O-Meter increases, more people will show up at the park?"
Krusty Icon "Yep, and when they use the rides they'll accumulate tickets. Just tap on them to collect"
Homer Icon "Free tickets? What a meaningless enticement. Count me in!"


The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.1[]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Icon "Ugh. Can someone tell me why the same dogs run every race at our track?"

"And why, given that, a TV clown would blow his entire fortune betting on said races?"

Lisa Icon "Krusty? You're Broke?"
Krusty Icon "No, broke means you have zero. I am millions in debt. If I was only broke, I'd be the richest jerk on earth."
Bart Icon "Why don't you just re-open Krustyland and make your money back?"
Krusty Icon "Krustyland is a mess. They never tell you how expensive the "maintenance" of a theme park is."

"Or how when you don't pay "maintenance," and one ride topples onto another ride and careens into a crowded midway, it can also be expensive."

Bart Icon "Then again, rebuilding Krustyland would be a great way to kill time, and keep people from focusing on more important tasks like work and school."
Krusty Icon "Anything I can do to harm America's productivity. Let's do it!"
Lisa Icon "Isn't Krustyland way out of town? How will we get there?"
Krusty Icon "Leave that to me! By which I mean, the Sky Finger. Get to it, chump!"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.2[]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Icon "Aww, the old Krustyland is a dump! Where am I going to find a schmuck fakakta big enough schmuck to fix this mess?"
Homer Icon "Ooh, Yiddish -- that often leads to Latkes"
Krusty Icon "Hey, hey! Welcome to Krustyland!"

"Step right up to our newest attraction: Grab That Girder Over There and Drag It, Then Every Other Girder, to Somewhere the Truck Can Get to Them More Easily!"

Homer Icon "Long name. Sounds fun!"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.3[]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon "I gotta say, Krusty, the girder-dragging ride at Disneyland is better."

"And why reward me with these stupid tickets? A guy like me is used to getting paid in cold, hard pretend money."

Krusty Icon "Those are Krustyland Tickets! They're like money but more... fun! Hoo Hoo Ha Ha!"

"Also, you're going to need those tickets to rebuild the Krustyland Entrance. So hand 'em over!"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.4[]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Icon "The harder it is for people to find their way around a theme park, the less time they spend on its fragile, deadly rides."

"I need a boneheaded, twisting, counterintuitive layout for this place. Where’s that guy from before."

Homer Icon "Hi, Mr. The Klown -- I’m that guy from before. I want to once again lodge a complaint about being paid in your personal scrip instead of money."
Krusty Icon "And I look forward to that conversation. Right after you try our latest attraction: Build A Path!"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.5[]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon "You know, this theme park is starting to feel a lot like work."
Krusty Icon "But, if I may finish that thought, it’s all worth it when you get your payout of Krustyland Tickets."
Homer Icon "Is that how that thought finishes? Well, I guess I can’t tell my thoughts what to think. Okay, what’s next?"
Krusty Icon "Now comes the imporant stuff."

"The rides are just a way to bring customers -- or, as we call them in the industry, "Fat Dummies Deserving of What They Get" -- into the park."

Homer Icon "I didn't know we had a nickname! Pretty sweet."
Krusty Icon "But it's the rigged, unwinnable midway games where you make the real dough."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.6[]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Happy Icon "Okay, Homer, are you ready to run the Ring Toss stall?"
Homer Confused Icon "Run it? But I want to play!"
Krusty Icon "Don't waste your time... the rings aren't big enough to land on any of the prizes."
Homer Happy Icon "Looks easy enough. Just watch. *clink* Whoops. Okay, just one more. *clink*"
"One more. *clink* One more..."
Krusty Annoyed Icon "Ugh. Looks like I'm going to need someone else to run the stall."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.7[]

Character Dialogue
Bart Icon "Krusty, you haven’t rebuilt my favorite ride yet. Where’s the infamous Death Drop?"
"You didn't shut it down just because of one tiny little class action lawsuit filed by five thousand hospitalized children?"
Lisa Icon "Ugh. Maybe that one's better left unbuilt."
Krusty Icon "Actually, it was our safest ride."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.8[]

Start[]

Character Dialogue
Bart Icon "The Death Drop is ready! Just look at all that beautiful rust. Race you to it!"
Milhouse Icon "I don't know, Bart. It looks like a big kid ride."
"Well I suppose I could try it once... if Lisa holds my hand."
Lisa Icon "On the off chance that we survive this ride, no way. I'd never respect my hand again."

End[]

Character Dialogue
Bart Icon "Woo! That was awesome... I'm going to ride it again."
Lisa Icon "I'm think I'm done for now... what about you, Milhouse?"
"Milhouse?"
Milhouse Sick Icon *vomiting*

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.9[]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon "We've run out of room to build."
"Guess I'll go back to my regular jobs, of which there are now so many it's a real pain to scroll down the list and find the one you want."
Krusty Icon "Krustyland is out of room? Then you're in luck -- there’s a job for that!"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.10[]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon "All this work is making me hungry. Where can I get some food?"
Krusty Icon "We could probably scrape together a decent Krusty Burger from what’s in the freezer."
"Yup, there’s still some "meat" in there."
Homer Icon "Mmmmm... scraped, quotation-marks meat."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.11[]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon "Woo Hoo! Krusty Burger, here I come!"
Milhouse Icon "Hey, Bart! Let’s grab a Laffy Meal! It comes with a toy from the movie Green Lantern 2: Seriously, a Second Green Lantern?"
Bart Icon "I'll go on the Death Drop, while you eat a Laffy Meal. We'll see who barfs first!"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.12[]

Start[]

Character Dialogue
Bart Icon "Hey, what gives?"
"People have been on these rides all day and nobody’s dead. We've come to expect a good deal more maiming from our beloved Krustyland."
"I don’t want to grow up to be one of those guys who doesn't have a childhood story about the kid he knew who died at an amusement park."
Martin Icon "Hello, Bartholomew! Fancy a go on the ol’ Death Drop with yours truly?"
Bart Icon "Come on, Krusty -- if Martin’s having fun in your park, you KNOW you’re doing something wrong!"
Krusty Icon "Everybody chill out."
"If you want excitement, if you want hair-raising peril, just wait 'til you see my next attraction... the Knock Over the Fuzzy Guy Stall!"
Bart Icon "Oy vey."

End[]

Character Dialogue
Martin Icon "Take THAT!... and THAT!"
Cletus Icon "Ow! Hey! You're only allowed to throw balls at the little men!"
Martin Icon "I'm sorry, Mr. Carny. I have a lot of pent-up anger due to my unpopularity and constant targeting by bullies at school."
Bart Icon "Maybe you should look for a doctor, Martin."
Martin Icon "Thank you, Bart. That's excellent advice."
Dr. Hibbert Icon "Ow! Hey! Who's throwing balls at me?"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.13[]

Character Dialogue
Bart Icon "Krusty, you've lost your edge."
Krusty Icon "Don't say that, kid! I'm an afternoon TV clown."
If I'm not making my living on the bleeding edge, my audience of six-year-olds will find someone who is!"
"Here, you want danger? You want risk? How about…"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.14[]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Icon "Okay, I admit it! The new Krustyland is safe, family-friendly, and all the other horrible things you say!"
"The guy I suckered into building it just did too good a job. And now I have to find a way to live with the excellent results."
"I never wanted to be in the business of pleasing people, but that’s the hand I was dealt."
"So I’m going with it -- Krustyland is going to be the People-Pleasing-est Place On Earth!"
"I'm going to be the first clown in history to make people happy!"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.15[]

Start[]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon "Hey, I think this Ring Toss game is RIGGED!"
Krusty Icon "I've told you that a hundred times! Look, forget it. From now on, no more cheating our schmucks. I mean, our "valued customers"."
"Though it makes my pancake makeup-caked skin crawl to say it, let's build a game that isn't rigged. A real people-pleaser."

End[]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Icon "Now any jerk -- I mean, "respected patron" -- can waltz in and get free Tickets."
Homer Icon "Don't mind if I do!"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.16[]

Character Dialogue
Comic Book Guy Icon "Excuse me? I wish to commemorate my visit here by purchasing Krustyland collectibles. Where are they for sale?"
Krusty Icon "Uh, nowhere. I'm trying this new thing where I treat my customers good. And everyone knows collectibles are a huge rip-off, right?"
Comic Book Guy Icon "On the contrary. With the rise of the modern nerd, limited-edition plastic crap is now a safer investment than gold."
"I have a mint-in-box vinyl-caped Jawa that is worth more than Delaware."
"Besides, shopping is all this country is good at anymore. Might as well play to our strengths."
Krusty Icon "One shop, coming up!"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.17[]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Icon "Hey, you seem to know a lot about theme parks. You want to help me make Krustyland the best it can be?"
Comic Book Guy Icon "Not now, I'm shopping for toys."
Krusty Icon "Right. But I'm offering you a highly-paid--"
Comic Book Guy Icon "SHOPPING!"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.18[]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Icon "Uhh, these people are pigs! There's trash all over the place!"
Lisa Icon "Maybe we should build some garbage cans. And a recycling station, so people can also reduce their carbon footprints."
Krusty Icon "Recycling? Isn’t that what you do to jokes, gags and bits?"
Lisa Icon "You can also do it to trash."
Krusty Icon "Sounds expensive. Let’s stick with the garbage cans."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 19[]

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon "Hold on just a second there, Krusty."
"I'm here to inspect your rides. And if I know Krustyland, they’re not going to be up to snuff."
"I just hope SOMEONE doesn't leave an envelope of money lying around, where it easilty could bribe me."
Krusty Icon "Actually, Chief, the fella who rebuilt all my rides did a great job. It feels weird to say this, but I think my park is legal."
Wiggum Icon "Oh. Well, that stinks. What’s the point in having lawmen if they’re not out there on the street collecting bribes."
Krusty Icon "If you like, I could fake-bribe you with near-worthless park tickets."
Wiggum Icon "Gee, would ya? That’d be swell."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 20[]

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon "So, I can spend these tickets anywhere in Krustyland, right?"
Krusty Icon "Anywhere at all! Blackout dates apply, some attractions excluded, prices subject to the whims of an oft-drunk clown."
Wiggum Icon "Sounds great!"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.21[]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Icon "Listen, Comic Book Guy. You know theme parks. How would you rate mine?"
Comic Book Guy Icon "I absolutely love it. One-and-a-half stars."
Krusty Icon "Yikes. That's kinda harsh."
Comic Book Guy Icon "Well, your rides are dated. They move too much."
"A truly first-rate modern ride is where you sit in a fake car and watch a 3-D movie that almost convinces you you’re moving in real life."
Krusty Icon "That’s moronic!"
Comic Book Guy Icon "Also, you need to have a tie-in to a successful movie. Or, as a last resort, a long-running primetime animated TV show."
Krusty Icon "But what money-grubbing TV cartoon would be desperate enough to lend its good name to a ride where you only pretend to be on a ride?"
Comic Book Guy Icon "A good point. Surely that would never happen. Well, we can always try for a movie tie-in."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.22[]

Character Dialogue
Comic Book Guy Icon "I doubt these seats will support my ample frame, but as Radioactive Man would say "up and atom."
"...except, of course, in issue 37 where his catchphrase was erroneously printed as "up and at 'em."
Bart Icon "Cool! A Radioactive Man ride! Let's go Milhouse!"
Comic Book Guy Icon "Gah! Children, at a theme park? Is no place sacred?"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.23[]

Character Dialogue
Comic Book Guy Icon "I have discovered another glaring omission in your park -- no mascots."
"Children and creepy adults need someone to sign their autograph books."
Krusty Icon "Right, right. I always get my mascot guys on loan from the prison. Cons work cheap, and they're used to wearing masks"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.24[]

Character Dialogue
Comic Book Guy Icon "And now a subject that is near and dear to my heart: food."
Krusty Icon "No offense, but food is obviously near and dear to every other part of you, too"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt. 25[]

Character Dialogue
Comic Book Guy Icon "All of this consulting has left me famished."
"I will now sample the Food Needle's offerings, which Yelp! describes as: "technically edible," and "clown-quality food."
Krusty Icon "My favorite review? "The owner is washed-up. Too bad the tableware isn't." Tough but accurate."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.26[]

Character Dialogue
Nelson Icon "One ticket for the Wet-and-Smokey Stunt Show, please. I want to see Orky the Orca ride a dirt bike."
Homer Icon "We haven't built that yet. Come back in thirty-six hours."
Nelson Icon "I don't think you understand.
I enjoy watching marine animals struggle to do people things in exchange for fish. I enjoy it very much. So make it happen."
Homer Icon "And what if I don't?"
Nelson Icon "Then you won't progress any further in this dumb game."
Homer Icon "I guess it's true what they say -- the best bullying comes from a place of honesty."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.27[]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon "Nelson, don’t you find forcing animals to do tricks kind of... cruel?"
Nelson Icon "I never really thought about it. But yeah, the cruelty's probably what makes it so great."
"Also, sometimes you get splashed by a gazillion tons of water. You want to check it out with me?"
Lisa Icon "The animal activist in me says no... but the eight-year-old in me is intrigued by this splashing you speak of."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.28[]

Character Dialogue
Nelson Icon "See, Lisa? I told you the water show was fun."
Lisa Icon "It was a chilling display of man’s heartlessness towards his animal brethren."
"And we got soaked!"
"You want to get some cotton candy?"
Nelson Icon "Sure! I mean... sure, whatever. I guess."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.29[]

Character Dialogue
Nelson Icon "So, what do you want to do now?"
Lisa Icon "I read on the internet that there's going to be a haunted house in Krustyland…"
"... but according to the data-mined text files, it's not being released until level 150!"
Nelson Icon "Don't worry -- I can bully anything."
"Hey, game! I'm gonna count down from five…"
"...and if I don't have that ride when I get to zero, I'm going to mess up your save file."
"5…"
"4…"
"3…"
"2…"
In Game Message "Congratulations! You just unlocked Krusty's Haunted Condo!"
Nelson Icon "That's more like it."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.30[]

Character Dialogue
Nelson Icon "Right now, I feel like I could beat up the whole world."
"I guess what I’m trying to say is, even though all girls are super-lame and have garbage personalities, if ever one wasn’t the worst, it'd be you."
"Or whatever..."
Lisa Icon "Awww…"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.31[]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon "Wow. The Haunted Condo really scared you, huh, Nelson? You’re shaking like a leaf, and you’re wearing your warmest vest."
Nelson Icon "I don't like ghosts. If you try to punch one, your hand goes right through it. How does one bully that which cannot be pounded upon?"
Lisa Icon "Huh. That’s actually a very insightful answer."
Nelson Icon "Shut up! YOU’RE an insightful answer!"
Lisa Icon "Why thank you."
Nelson Icon "What -- did I say something nice? I hate it when I do that. Let’s just agree to stick to normal rides from now on."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.32[]

Character Dialogue
Nelson Icon "Lisa, I’m getting on the Flea Dipper now, and I don’t want you to follow."
Lisa Icon "Are you breaking up with me?"
Nelson Icon "These last few missions we've shared have made me very happy... but that's something a bully can never be. Anger is my livelihood."
Lisa Icon "I have to admit it -- you seem calmer. More rational."
Nelson Icon "The technical term is "wussified," and it has to stop. The weak need to be tormented, and the job falls to me. Goodbye, Lisa."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.33[]

Character Dialogue
Carl Icon "Hey, how come there’s no Viking Boat ride at Krustyland?"
Krusty Icon "I 'unno. Because shut up?"
Carl Icon "Hey, I'm Icelandic. If you don't put in a Viking Boat ride, that's discrimination!"
Lenny Icon "And I'm his friend, so I'm being discriminated too!"
"Maybe we should tell the press Krustyland is prejudiced against both Icelanders and friends."
Comic Book Guy Icon "Quickly, appease them! Bad publicity is death to a theme park! Just ask PaulaDeenWorld, KidnapLand, and Universal Studios: Jalalabad!"
Krusty Icon "Sure, whatever. But this whole deal was a lot more fun when I hated my customers."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.34[]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Icon "All right, I finished your dumb ride. Up you go."
Carl Icon "Oh, I never ride Viking Boats. Not with my stomach. I just wanted to make you build one."
Krusty Icon "I said, GET ON THE BOAT."
Lenny Icon "Are you aiming a gun at us?"
Krusty Icon "I sure am. And I'm prepared to use it. Maybe even make jokes about it. Or the organization that lobbies on behalf of it."
Carl Icon "Look, shoot us if you want. But don’t make a joke at the NRA’s expense. They can’t take it, and I don’t want to listen to their whining."
Krusty Icon "Yeah, you’d think people with guns would have a thicker skin. But you’re still getting on that boat.

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.35[]

Character Dialogue
Carl Icon "Hey, Krusty! How come there's no vegetarian options on your menus? You got something against Buddhists?"
Lenny Icon "Once again, we're feeling pretty discriminated."
Krusty Icon "Fellas, please. I'll let you in on a secret. If you want vegetarian, order the Meatlover's Meatgasm. There's not actually any meat in it.
Unless you consider a really, really smart fungus to be meat."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.36[]

Character Dialogue
Comic Book Guy Icon "And now for the final element that every great theme park needs -- an attached hotel and convention center."
Krusty Icon "Wait a second. It's one thing to have to be nice to people all day, but now I have to be nice to them all night too?"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.37[]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Icon "I've done everything you asked. I'’ve built a world-class theme park... and I’ve never been so miserable"
Comic Book Guy Icon "Only one thing remains --"
Carl Icon "We'd like a room for the night in the Krustyland Hotel, please."
Krusty Icon "Hold on a second!"
"What do you mean, one thing remains? I thought I was done."
Comic Book Guy Icon "Now you simply need to work 24-7 to ensure that Krustyland upholds the high standards I've set."
"Making sure that each and every guest has a magical stay and leaves completely satisfied."
Lenny Icon "A room, please?"
Krusty Icon "SHUT UP!"
"Aw, that’s it. I'm not going to spend my life making other people happy."
"I'm a clown! I'm in it for the money! Krustyland is going back to the dump it was!"
Carl Icon "Excuse me?"
Krusty Icon "Here! Take the room."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.38[]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Icon "Homer! Hey, Homer! I’m fed up with the quality of your work!"
Homer Icon "I thought I was doing a great job!"
Krusty Icon "That's the problem! Krustyland isn't Disneyland -- we're crap and we're proud."
"The only thrill my ancient rides can possibly offer is not knowing if you’ll survive them."
"If they’re assembled right, with bolts and screws and following instructions, where’s the fun? I need you to do a crappier job!"
"And to help with that, how about we build a new attraction: a "Crappy-Job-Doer-Enabler," if you will."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.39[]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon "Woo hoo! Beer, here I come!"
Krusty Icon "Drink up, pal! That’s the finest beer Duff has to offer... for what I was willing to pay."
"Which was virtually nothing. I'm saying it’s not good beer. Swill. Really."
Homer Icon "Hmmm... it’s bland, watery, colorless, odorless."
"Just the way a true American likes it!"

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.40[]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon "Thanks for the too much beer, Bozo. Whaddaya want [hic!] me to build now?"
Krusty Icon "Only our most dangerous, intricate, and poorly-designed ride... the Tooth Chipper!"
Homer Icon "Okey-doke. Do you have a toolbox or something? If I'm building a rollercoaster, I could use a good sledgehammer."
Krusty Icon "Now, now. If Drunky has a wrench, Drunky might screw the bolts together too tight. And we don’t want that."

The Krusty-est Place On Earth Pt.41[]

Start[]

Character Dialogue
Bart Icon "I can’t believe it -- the fabled Tooth Chipper. The ride that killed three Presidents... The only coaster designed by a team of serial killers…"
"Let me at it!"
Krusty Icon "You were right about my park, kid. And if you're getting on the Chipper... it was nice knowing' ya!"
Bart Icon "See you on the other side!"

End[]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Icon "Looks like Krustyland is finally back to her former glory... and posting in the black for a change, too."
Homer Icon "Wait, what am I supposed to do with all these extra Tickets?"
Lisa Icon "Dad, didn't you know you can exchange them at the Krustyland Entrance?"
Homer Icon "You mean I can cash this fake virtual money in for real virtual money?!"
"Woo Hoo!"
"You can now exchange your Tickets for Cash at the Krustyland Entrance!"
 
— In Game Message
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