The Joy of Gossip is the main questline for the Level 50 content update.
Quests[]
Quest
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Requirements
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Time
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Reward
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Triggered By
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The Joy of Gossip Pt. 1
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Build Municipal House of Pancakes
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4h
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100 10 Unlock: Helen Lovejoy
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Milhouse
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The Joy of Gossip Pt. 2
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Make Helen Make Marge Spill the Beans
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60m
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100 10
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Helen Lovejoy
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The Joy of Gossip Pt. 3
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Make Helen Think of the Children
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8h
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100 10
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Helen Lovejoy
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The Joy of Gossip Pt. 4
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Make Helen Apply for Premium Status
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4h
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100 10
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Helen Lovejoy
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The Joy of Gossip Pt. 5
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Make Helen Plead with a Higher Power
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8h
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100 10
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Helen Lovejoy
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The Joy of Gossip Pt. 6
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Get Helen Lovejoy from the Premium Menu
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-
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100 10
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Helen Lovejoy
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The Joy of Gossip Pt. 7
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Make Helen "Worship" Alongside Rev. Lovejoy
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20h
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100 10
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Helen Lovejoy
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Dialogue[]
The Joy of Gossip Pt. 1[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"Bart! The new issue of Radioactive Woman is out!"
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"Women can't be superheroes! Whoever heard of women in tights?"
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"Supposedly on the cover you can see upper thigh and even, dare I say, lower butt."
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"I think I'm coming around to the idea of female superheroes. It's largely butt related."
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"This is my last copy, and I simply cannot let it go for less than TWENTY DOLLARS!"
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"I also accept Galactic credits, dwarven runes, and microwave burritos."
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"Aw! I had $20, but I spent it on a collection of commemorative state quarters."
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"You spent $20 on $12.50 in quarters?"
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"Markets fluctuate, Lisa. Who knows how much a quarter will be worth next week?"
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"25 cents."
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"Nuts, I don't know anything about finances!"
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"I mean, I talk the talk, but I can't walk the walk. Probably because of all the quarters in my pockets."
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"Well, we're in luck! Helen Lovejoy is up next and she knows more about investments than I know about analogies."
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End[]
This dialogue will only appear if the player doesn't have the Cracker Factory.
Character
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Dialogue
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"I've searched everywhere! The Jacuzzi suit store, the American Gladiator's green room, the Shelbyville eyebrow outlet, and I can't find Luann!"
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"We cannot hold an Investorettes meeting without the full membership present."
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"Take it up with the Great Man in the Sky who hasn't forked over the donuts to bring her back to life."
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"Was that Ezekiel 3:17? Bart, I didn't know you were so well versed in Bible quotes."
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In Game Message
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"Will the Investorettes get two new members? Complete the Investorettes club to find out!"
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The Joy of Gossip Pt. 2[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"Helen, my prayers have been answered! You're finally here..."
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"...and holding a perfectly seasoned roast beef sandwich?"
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"No, just me."
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"Well, one of my prayers was answered."
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"Although, you seem troubled by something."
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"It's just, well, I've been in limbo for so long that I feel like I don't even know this town anymore."
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"How has everyone gone about with their business without my nose in it? I need a glass of fresh squeezed juicy gossip!"
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"Perhaps Marge Simpson could be of service. She's both up to speed on the town's affairs, and not up to speed on mine."
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Jobs Started[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"Oh, Marge Simpson! How lovely to see you!"
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"I wish I could say the same thing to you, but I promised myself that I wouldn't lie."
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"Oh Marge, you big jokester. So you'll only be lying to yourself from now on then?"
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"But enough about us -- let's talk about other people! Give me the gossip!"
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"Hmmmm..."
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End[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"Well, the big news in Springfield is that people seem to be turning up in order of importance."
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"Nonsense. If that's the case I would have been home AGES ago."
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"Would you?"
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The Joy of Gossip Pt. 3[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"Order of importance?!"
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"How could I be LESS important than a politician's spoiled nephew or some juvenile delinquents?!? I have a first AND last name for goodness sake."
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"That a perfect lady such as myself, who only thinks of others, could be seen as LESS important than an old, uneducated stripper?"
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"Who are you callin' educated?"
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"I said UN-educated."
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"Oh. Carry on then."
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"What are we teaching our children?!"
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"Oh won't somebody PLEASE think of the children!"
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The Joy of Gossip Pt. 4[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"Helen, you are the most important person to me. Isn't that enough?"
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"There's a fire. You can either save me or your Christmas coal train car. Which do you save?"
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"Let's not go down this road again, Helen."
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"I can't believe that fat slob Homer Simpson is the most important person in Springfield."
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"Calm yourself, Helen. He isn't even a premium character."
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"Premium? Oh I like the sound of that!"
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"Clearly, there was a mistake. I should be a premium character!"
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End[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"Premium status? Lady, this is the DMV. Does anyone here look premium to you?"
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"Now if you're looking for an eye test or novelty license plate, then maybe we can help."
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"Hmm, perhaps I could use a new license plate."
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"Great! In that case..."
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"...you're in the wrong line."
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"Ugh. Just tell me where to go to get premium status."
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"Only a being of supreme power could grant you premium status. Maybe a postmaster general, but definitely not the DMV."
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The Joy of Gossip Pt. 5[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"I don't know why I thought the government was the answer. I need help from a higher power!"
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"God?"
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"What?! Is He in this game before me too?"
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Jobs Started[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"Oh great one, hear my wishes!"
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"I've been good, followed all the rules, publically shamed people for the things they do in private, and for this I believe I should be rewarded."
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End[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"Look, lady. I don't know who gave you my information, but that's not how things are done around here."
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"There are strategy meetings, lawyers, names picked out of hats..."
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"PLEASE!"
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"Fine! But don't say a nerd never did anything for you."
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The Joy of Gossip Pt. 6[]
Start[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"Now we just have to access your character data from the debug menu and set your status to premium."
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"Although you WILL need to be re-acquired through the Premium Stuff Menu."
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"Is it going to hurt?"
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"No, but there's a small chance it would create a paradox, which could destroy the entire universe!"
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"But, I'd be premium?"
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"If the universe explodes, no one will be premium."
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"That's fine too. Flip the switch!"
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"There is no switch. It's actually a complicated system of 1s and 0s that diverts the CSS stylesheet..."
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"...whatever, it's done."
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End[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"It worked! I'm a PREMIUM character! I've never felt so important in all my life."
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"Um, Database, she's not REALLY a premium character... right?"
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"People get mad around here when we change the price of houses. They'd go ballistic over that!"
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"Well, she's not technically premium but... Hey! Look over there!"
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"Ooh! That cloud looks like a rabbit!"
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"Whew. Saved once again by my rabbit-shaped cloud emulation software."
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The Joy of Gossip Pt. 7[]
Character
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Dialogue
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"You look to be in much better spirits, my dear."
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"Did you discover some photos of a neighbor in a compromising position?"
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"Oh, much better than that. I just had myself turned premium."
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"Good for you. What do you say I make a reservation at the Gilded Truffle for my gilded lily?"
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"I have a better idea... do you still have that half mattress we got from the Simpsons?"
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"Another reason I'm glad I'm not Catholic!"
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Promotionals |
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Regular Quest · Premium Quest | | 2012 | |
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| 2013 | |
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| 2014 | |
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| 2015 | |
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| 2016 | |
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