The Gold, the Dad, and the Gummy is the limited-time main questline for Act 3 of the Wild West 2016 Event.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
The Gold, the Dad, and the Gummy Pt. 1 Make Saints Build a Mission at the Town Plaza (x3)
Make Gummy Joe Tell Stories to Mission Builders
30s
60m
Cash100
TNT10
Lisa
The Gold, the Dad, and the Gummy Pt. 2 Make Lisa Ominously Warn
Make Springfielders Overreact to Warnings (x5)
Characters:
4h
4h
Cash100
TNT10
Homer
The Gold, the Dad, and the Gummy Pt. 3 Reach Level 12 and Place Bart's Tree House
Make Lisa Convince Skinner to Help
Make Bart Convince Gummy Joe to Help
-
60m
60m
Cash100
TNT10
Lisa
The Gold, the Dad, and the Gummy Pt. 4 Make Snake Ready the Henchmen
Make the Simpsons Prepare for Standoff (x5)
Make Gummy Joe and Skinner Prepare for Standoff
Collect All Finale Pieces
4h
4h
4h
-
Cash100
TNT10
Snake
The Gold, the Dad, and the Gummy Pt. 5 Play Act 3 Finale - Cash100
TNT10
Auto
The Gold, the Dad, and the Gummy Pt. 6 Place Frontier Gold Treasure
Make Homer Dig Up Frontier Gold Treasure (x2)
-
3h
Cash100
TNT10
Gummy Joe

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

The Gold, the Dad, and the Gummy Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Alarmed Icon.png Snake may have run off for now, but he'll be back. We need to protect the town.
Ned Icon.png If we want fool-proof, iron-clad protection from those who would harm us, there is really only one thing to do...
Lisa Annoyed Icon.png Don't say “build a church” don't say “build a church” don't say “build a church”...
Ned Dreamy Icon.png We'll build a church! When you're in trouble, nothing screams “Lord, help me first, before those other people!” like a brand new church.
Gummy Joe Icon.png In the old west, we don't build churches. We build Missions.
Ned Shocked Icon.png Missions? Aren't those a little C-c-c-c-c-c-atholic?

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Ned Surprised Icon.png Would you look at that? There's a Triple Eagle gold coin inside the mission!

The Gold, the Dad, and the Gummy Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Angry Icon.png I saw the gold coin first! It's mine!
Quimby Proud Icon.png Any gold found inside the town limits is subject to tax. Also, the Mayor gets to rub said gold against his cheek and call it his precious. Very old law. Very important.
Lisa Nagging Icon.png People, we can't come unglued every time we stumble upon an old coin.
Moe Angry Icon.png Don't listen to her! Come unglued! Youse guys, riot on those guys. I'm going to smash that lamppost with a baseball bat until doing that fixes society.
Lisa Shouting Icon.png WHY ARE WE FIGHTING EACH OTHER WHEN SNAKE IS STILL OUT THERE????

The Gold, the Dad, and the Gummy Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Alarmed Icon.png Principal Skinner, you've got to help defend Springfield against Snake and his outlaw gang!
Skinner Icon.png If you need a hero, Springfield has better options. Disco Stu, for example. Or Crazy Cat Lady. Even Total Coward Dan is significantly braver than me.
Lisa Nagging Icon.png Well, you have a gun, don't you? Didn't the NRA sponsor some bill requiring you to be packing any time you're on school grounds?
Skinner Icon.png I can't even smile at a kindergartener unless I'm carrying an anti-tank missile.
Lisa Shouting Icon.png Then come with me! And bring any weapons you've got!
Bart Icon.png Gummy Joe! Will you stand with me?
Gummy Joe Sad Icon.png Why me? I’m old. I’m not that popular. If I disappeared tomorrow, Springfield wouldn’t suffer.
Bart Happy Icon.png BECAUSE you’re old. BECAUSE no one likes you. BECAUSE you seem to be around whenever a gold coin turns up.
Gummy Joe Happy Icon.png Rousing words! I'll do it!

The Gold, the Dad, and the Gummy Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Outlaw Snake Icon.png People of Springfield! The day of, like, reckoning is upon you! Totally.
Outlaw Snake Icon.png Tell me where the gold is, and nobody gets hurt.
Brute Icon.png Why Snake say “nobody get hurt?” Brutus want hurt people.
Outlaw Snake Icon.png Brutus, look--
Brute Angry Icon.png Don't “Brutus, look” Brutus. Terms of Brutus employment very clear: “Brutus shall render people-hurting services to the Snake Gang, Ltd. (hereafter, ‘SGL'). Brutus will have--“
Outlaw Snake Annoyed Icon.png I know what the contract says.
Brute Angry Icon.png BRUTUS NOT FINISHED. “Brutus will have full discretion as to severity and breadth of Brutus people-hurting.”
Brute Angry Icon.png Brutus confused. Contract language seem crystal clear. Maybe Brutus make mistake?
Outlaw Snake Annoyed Icon.png No, no. Technically you're right.
Brute Angry Icon.png Oh, so good of Snake to tell Brutus he right! When Brutus KNOW he right because Brutus READ CONTRACT.
Outlaw Snake Sad Icon.png Okay, everybody. Time out. I need to sort a few things out with my gang.

The Gold, the Dad, and the Gummy Pt. 6[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Gummy Joe Sad Icon.png Sorry I let you think there was a massive pile of gold coins out there to discover.
Gummy Joe Sad Icon.png I just wanted you to build Old Springfield, so your kids could learn valuable frontier skills.
Gummy Joe Icon.png Skills like: tobacco chewin', gun fightin', rattlesnake tossin', “g” droppin' and horse-polishin'.
Gummy Joe Icon.png Fortunately, I'm financially set thanks to the success of Toothless Joe's Gum.
Gummy Joe Happy Icon.png So if you want the gold, take it!
Homer Happy Icon.png You mean… we're finally going to have the treasure?

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Glassedeye Icon.png It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Aside from my wife and kids'... pile of gold, should they ever get one.
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