Character
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Dialogue
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"Principal Skinner, I'd like to see the school therapist."
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"Unfortunately, we had to get rid of our counselor due to budget cuts." "So, you'll be divulging your deepest, darkest thoughts to our very talented gardener."
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"Welcome to Willie's shack, lassie! What brings you in today -- therapy or the fish-gutting seminar I conduct?"
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"Um... therapy."
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"Don't be embarrassed. You would not believe how many people don't know how to properly gut a fish."
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"I said therapy."
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" Oh. Okay, why don't you start us off..."
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"Well, I've been having some issues that I believe stem from my relationship with my father. He's never around, doesn't know I exist--"
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" Daddy issues?!"
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"Here's my prescription -- go outside and dig your own grave every day till you finish!"
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"You'll sleep like a baby and the constant reminder of death will make you appreciate every second of your God-forsaken life."
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"Actually, I think it would be better if I talked this stuff out." "A girl's good bond with her father affects all her future relationships with men."
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"Nonsense. My Dad was never around, and neither me nor any of my twelve sisters has even HAD a relationship!"
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"That's terrible! You know, I think it's important for boys to have quality time with their fathers too."
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"It is? Oh dear Lord."
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"I hate my father!"
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*sobs* "I hate him good!" *more sobs* "Haven't ye ever wondered why I've never amounted to anything?"
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"Um..."
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"Well I have! I think about it all the time!"
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