The Family Business Pt. 1
Make Don Vittorio Talk with his Hands
The Family Business Pt. 2
Make Don Vittorio Straighten Out Wiggum Make Moe Smuggle Endangered Species
The Family Business Pt. 3
Make Don Vittorio Straighten Out Sanjay
The Family Business Pt. 4
Make Springfielders Go to the Don for Help (x10)
The Family Business Pt. 5
Make Quimby Try to Create Good Policy
The Family Business Pt. 6
Make Don Vittorio Go Back to Business as Usual
"Fat Tony, today is an auspicious day. I will walk amongst the people and share the good fortune of my house."
"You mean in the way stereotypical Italian mafia bestow favors on the day of their daughter’s wedding?"
"Yes. But nothing big. The girl in question is actually my niece. And she’s just getting her braces off."
"Hey, Don Vittorio, are you really handing out favors? Like, off the books?"
"It is a tradition in my family every time someone gets their braces off. What can I do for you, bartender Moe?"
"See, I got this side business… involving animals. It’s like a pet store, except the pets are from outside the country and you pick ’em from the endangered species list."
"I see. And the police, they don’t like this side business?"
"You got it, Don. I knew you’d understand."
"The police are supposed to protect the rights of the people… except when I pay them not to."
"Mister Vittorio, I’m told you can solve problems?"
"This is true, my foreign friend. Tell me what the family can do for you on this day."
"My brother, Sanjay, has been making trouble at the store. It’s like he’s never worked a 24-hour shift or taken a non-lethal bullet before."
"I am familiar with the complications of family business. I’ll take care of this. I just have to call my horse head guys."
"Hey, Godfather guy, here’s my problem. I need Flanders whacked."
"For what reason?"
"No big reason, just a bunch of little ones."
"You make me sick! Ned Flanders is a saint! Get out of my office, you monster. Next!"
"What a great, ah, day for a few rounds of golf. I’ll just cancel all my afternoon meetings."
"You don’t have any meetings today, sweetie. Even your secretary has gone home."
"What? People are usually beating down my door, expecting me to solve their problems for them."
"Looks like a lot of people have been going to see that nice Don Vittorio instead."
"This is a, ah, disaster! If they don’t need me, I’ll lose their, uh, votes. If I don’t prove I can be a, ah, good mayor, I’ll lose my position and all the perks that come with abusing that position!"
"Don Vittorio, I need your help. I know I was the guy who pushed for organized crime to take care of my problems, but you’re taking away my votes. And with votes comes perks. And Daddy needs his perks."
"It is fortunate that you came to me when you did. I’ve had my fill of public service. The politician’s world is ruthless and corrupt. I’m much better suited to the world of organized family business."