The Devil Wears Blue is a quest that features the Blue Haired Lawyer.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time
The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 1 Make Homer Get Squishee Brain-Freeze 30m
The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 2 Make the Blue Haired Lawyer Hatch Plans with Homer 12h
The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 3 Build Krusty Burger
Make Homer Eat at Krusty Burger
The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 4 Build Moe's Tavern
Make Homer Choke on a Pretzel
The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 5 Make the Blue-Haired Lawyer Deliver Lawsuits To Local Businesses 24h
The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 6 Make Apu Attend Negotiations
Make Krusty Attend Negotiations
Make Moe Attend Negotiations
Make the Blue Haired Lawyer Attend Negotiations
Make Homer Attend Negotiations
The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 7 Make Apu Negotiate in Secret
Make Krusty Negotiate in Secret
Make Moe Negotiate in Secret
Make Homer Negotiate in Secret
The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 8 Make Homer Avoid the Lawyer 8h
The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 9 Make Blue-Haired Lawyer Look Unimpressed 8h
The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 10 Make Mr. Burns Blue-Haired Lawyer Dino Ride 16h

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "Ooh! There's a new flavor of Squishee at the Kwik-E-Mart!"
Homer Ooh Icon.png "Mmm... Grey!"
Lisa Annoyed Icon.png "Eww Dad. This label says the main ingredient is mop water."
Homer Icon.png "Finally, a Squishee I can make at home. Lisa, go tell your mother to start mopping!"
Ned Icon.png "I hate to be a noisy neighboreeno!"
Homer Annoyed Icon.png "THEN DON'T!"

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Doh Icon.png "Owww! My brain feels like it's frozen."
Lisa Annoyed Icon.png "It's just like brain-freeze, dad."
Homer Icon.png "That doesn't sound right."
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "Hello there! Did I hear a minor complaint about local business, ripe for a lawsuit?"
Lisa Icon.png "Were you just hiding in the bushes?"
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "No, those bushes were just blocking my stealthy crouch. I'm taking them to court!"
"And sir, frozen brain syndrome is no laughing matter. Why just last year, fewer than 7 people died of it."
"And I would be happy to help you receive the financial justice you deserve."

The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon.png "Dad, let's go. Remember your New Year's resolution of not trusting people who pop out of bushes.
Homer Icon.png "No, Lisa. That resolution was for shrubs. Bushes are fine."
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "I'm not proposing anything illegal. Just your father an injury to become undeservedly rich off of other people's hard-earned cash."
Lisa Icon.png "That is totally illegal! Dad, he's just trying to profit from your stupidity."
Homer Icon.png "Why if I had a dime for every time someone took advantage of my stupidity -"
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "Sir, I believe I'm legally entitled to a percentage of the dime in question. As well as all future dimes."
Homer Icon.png "See, Lisa, he's what's known as a go-getter. Now let the grown-ups discuss how Daddy can make a quick, questionably legal buck."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "So, all I have to do is get hurt in different shops around town and you'll let me have 30% of all the money we sue for?"
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "That's right, 30%!"
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "...minus my expenses, my hourly rate, my retainer, and my teenage daughter's retainer."
Homer Happy Icon.png "I happily accept your less-than-generous offer!"

The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "As legal council. I recommend you head to you nearest unsanitary dining establishment."
Homer Icon.png "Krusty Burger it is! I love those thin brown crunchy things they have."
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "French fries?"
Homer Icon.png "No, cockroaches."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Nauseous Icon.png "A moment on the lips, a lifetime... struggling with life-threatening digestive problems."
Homer Icon.png "I guess I'm going to have to sue this fine establishment for all the delicious pain and suffering it has caused me."
Krusty Angry Icon.png "What?! I heard that!"
"You can't sue me! Every burger you buy comes wrapped in an ironclad contract."
Krusty Icon.png "Once you bite into that burger, you have legally consented to consuming any non-food products including diseases."
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "Blast. Foiled by foil!"

The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "Alright Homer. I have a task so simple that even you can't mess it up."
Homer Sad Icon.png "People usually regret saying that to me."
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "All you have to do is drink a beer, watch the game, and hang out with friends at your favorite watering hole."
Homer Woohoo Icon.png "WOO HOO!!"
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "...and then choke on a pretzel as you slip off your bar stool and bang your head on the ground."
Homer Doh Icon.png "D'oh!"

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Doh Icon.png *thump* "D'OH!"
Moe Worried Icon.png "What's-a-matter Homer? You didn't see one off those Victorian-era ghosts again, did you? 'Cause those were just albino hipsters."
Homer Nauseous Icon.png "No... I'm... fine..." *gasp* "I mean I just... chocked on one of your pretzels."
Moe Angry Icon.png "Pretzel? Where do you think you are? The Ritz? We don't have the money to stock pretzels, with their fancy curves. If it doesn't pickle, I don't serve it."
Homer Icon.png "Maybe it was a pickled pretzel?"
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "If I may interject, my client appears to have chocked on a food product served in your establishment."
Moe Angry Icon.png "I see how it is. The ol' slip n' fall. The din n' trip. The choke n' sue."
"Well, I'm assembling my legal counsel right now - two shells for my shotgun. Any objections?"
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "This won't be the last you see of us!"
Homer Icon.png "Yeah, I'll probably come back tomorrow."

The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "All I need is your John Hancock and I'll be ready to deliver the lawsuits, Mr. Simpson."
Homer Icon.png ...
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "Your autograph.
Homer Icon.png ...
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "Just write your name."
Homer Icon.png "Can I sign with an X?"

The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 6[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Apu Sad Icon.png "I cannot believe that Mr. Simpson is suing me! After I kindly allowed him to eat the hot dogs I dropped on the floor. At the full price.
Krusty Angry Icon.png "Yeah, me too! He was only one burger away from joining the Krusty Burger VIP Club. You get to eat the same burger behind a velvet rope."
Apu Icon.png "I'm sure Homer would listen to us, if we came as friends rather than foes.
Moe Angry Icon.png "I ain't Homer's friend. Not anymore! I'm sanding his butt groove out of his favorite stool."
Krusty Angry Icon.png "That's the spirit - we don't need him. There are plenty of fat slobs in this town. Homer's banned from Krusty Burgers nationwide INCLUDING GUAM."
Moe Angry Icon.png "Without grease or alcohol, Homer won't last a day."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Sad Icon.png "Hi, friends. Isn't it nice, all of us hanging out outside of work?"
Moe Angry Icon.png "Can it, Homer. I've already replaced you with a shaved bear and he makes way less of mess in the bathroom."
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "My client will not be intimidated by your verbal abuse. Although he will sue for intimidation."
Apu Sad Icon.png "Mr. Simpson, surely we can settle this like we do in India - accept your fate, live with your head down and be rewarded in the afterlife."
Moe Angry Icon.png "Why are you listening to this guy, Homer. We've got your best interests at heart - booze and fried food, day in and day out."
Homer Icon.png "He told me I could get rich by doing basically nothing! You know how my two dreams in my life are to be rich and lazy."
Krusty Angry Icon.png "Leave being rich for the rich. A schlub like you would probably fill his swimming pool with water."
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "I'm afraid this meeting is over, and I need to itemize Mr. Simpsons's bill. Three angry men - $10,000. Table - $3,000. Oxygen we are breathing - $500."
Homer Icon.png "You guys are still coming to my BBQ, right? Slam the door in my face if you are."
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "Door slam - $1,000."

The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 7[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Moe Angry Icon.png "That's it! Homer's gonna play hardball, then I'm going to have to brush up on my sports analogies."
Krusty Icon.png "We need to get Homer alone. We can fool... I mean reason with Homer when he's by himself."
Apu Icon.png "Exactly. Deep down, underneath layer after layer after layer after layer of fat, he's a good man."
Moe Icon.png "I know, let's invite Homer to the Gulp'N'Blow for a meal..."
Krusty Icon.png "Yeah, maybe if we butter him up a little, we can convince him to drop the lawsuits. It usually works with my secretaries."

The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 8[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Drunk Icon.png "I don't want to *hic* sue you guys. But that lawyer, with all his technical terms like stapler and *hic* three-hole punch..."
Krusty Icon.png "Oh lawyers - one minute they're your best friend. The next, they're suing you for accidentally chopping off their hands."
Moe Icon.png "You've got to do what millions of Americans do everyday. You've got to get drunk and hope this all magically disappears."
Homer Drunk Icon.png "Yeah! I'm going to forget this lawsuit like I did my regular suit, when I left it at the cleaners."
Apu Icon.png "I am so relieved I can hardly believe it! I thought I would have to mark up all the prices in Kwik-E-Mart to pay for this law suit!"
"Oh, what the heck, since I am feeling so cheerful I will mark them up anyway!"

The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 9[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "While I was hiding in the bushes, I overhead those business owners convince Homer to blow me off."
"I ought to sue him for everything he's worth..."
"...which apparently is negative $10,000."

The Devil Wears Blue Pt. 10[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Icon.png "You there! Blue-haired man crouched behind that shrub! Your dead eyes and bitter sneer suggest you are a lawyer?"
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "Not to mention my humorless bench ads!"
Mr. Burns Icon.png "Ooh... I like your nasal accent."
"How's your conscience? I need an employee that will cater to my every whim, no matter how sick or twisted they may be."
Smithers Icon.png "But Mr. Burns, what about me?!"
Mr. Burns Icon.png "You should have thought about this before you told me I couldn't open my plane window because it would "kill us all."
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "Personally I'd sue the airline and the plane manufacturer for the lack of personal window options on every plane."
Mr. Burns Diabolical Icon.png "Excellent. You're hired."
Community content is available under CC-BY-SA unless otherwise noted.