The Couch Caper is a premium side questline that was released on September 23, 2020 for the All This Jazz 2020 Event. It requires the premium character Skinny Palmer.
Make Skinny Palmer Search the Couch Cushions for Coins Make Lunchlady Dora Search the Couch Cushions for Coins
2h 2h
200 20
Skinny Palmer
*Only appears if the player has Lunchlady Dora.
**Only appears if the player has Manacek.
Dialogue[]
The Couch Caper Pt. 1[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
Honey, I’m home! What in the heck are you doing?
Just squeezing these free ketchup packets into our old bottle of ketchup.
Why don’t you just buy more?
Just squeezing these free ketchup packets into our old bottle of ketchup.
*sigh* It won’t always be like this. I promise. I’m gonna land that record deal and things will be looking up for—
Wait, where’s Eleanor?
Who?
Eleanor, my trumpet! I left her right here by the couch before I went out, and now she’s gone.
Am I your trumpet’s keeper?
Well, jazzos and jazzettes, it looks like we’ve got ourselves a good old-fashioned mystery.
You haven’t even started looking yet.
I will get to the bottom of this.
End[]
Character
Dialogue
*groans* What are you doing now?
If I shine this blacklight, it’ll show you where bodily fluids are. I learned it from every CSI that’s ever aired.
You really think a robber took the trumpet and then left a trail of fluid everywhere?
I’m only following the evidence.
The Couch Caper Pt. 2[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
Hmm, it looks like the trail of clues heads out the door and then goes cold. To crack this case, I must combine all the skills of Sherlock Holmes, Poirot, Bosch, and Veronica Mars.
I used to love that show!
Anyway. If you’re going out will you at least swing by Krusty Burger and get me some more ketchup packets?
The game is afoot! And justice waits for no condiments.
End[]
Character
Dialogue
One box of gloves. *beep*
One set of night-vision goggles. *beep*
And they better be the kind that make everything look green.
One hidden camera. *beep*
It’s not hidden yet.
Thank you for shopping at Try-N-Save.
Now it’s time to catch the thief who stole my instrument!
Before you do that, could you fill out a short customer experience survey?
The Couch Caper Pt. 3[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
Shoot, I forgot my magnifying glass and I need it to find my trumpet.
I hear you’ve got quite a case on your hands…Skinny.
Who are you?
My name is Manacek.
You look like you time-traveled here from the 1979 set of “Big Shamus, Little Shamus”.
See, the curious thing about your stolen trumpet is…stealing it was an inside job.
So you think I stole it?
No, but I’m going to get to the bottom of this…even if it means leaving no pet rock unturned.
We have to stock up for the stakeout. I’m thinking a bottle of Cognac and a thick stack of “Paris Match” magazines.
A stakeout? Who do we need to stake out?
There’s a little lunchlady who isn’t little and isn’t telling the truth either.
End[]
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Dialogue
So why exactly are we staking out my girlfriend? Don’t you think the robber is long gone by now?
They always come back to the scene of the crime. And in this case, the robber lives at the scene of the crime.
These night-vision goggles make my head hurt.
You flip the 8-track and I’ll test out this so-called “night-vision”.
Do you see Lunchlady Dora in there?
Yeah, she’s cooking up some tater-tots…in her birthday suit.
You’re not creeping on her, are you?
Sorry, falling in love with a mysterious woman is the first step to solving a crime. Luckily for you, your lunchlady repulses me.
You haven’t helped at all in finding my trumpet.
Haven’t I?
No.
Well, for what it’s worth — and it is worth quite a bit — your trumpet isn’t at your house. It’s at Lunchlady Dora’s second boyfriend’s house.
She stole my trumpet and she’s two-timing me?
You really have a knack for this, Skinny.
The Couch Caper Pt. 4[]
Start[]
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Dialogue
*grumbling* That 1970s detective thinks he knows so much about my personal life just because his entire job is finding stuff out.
I need to clear my head, get a good night’s rest, and pick up the clues in the morning after some waffles and—
Wait, what’s this? A trail of footprints leading away from my front door?
End[]
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Dialogue
It looks like these footprints lead right to the Municipal House of Pancakes.
Can I get a short stack of pancakes?
And did you want those pancakes American, Swedish, or Scooty Hooty Sweet and Fruity?
Dora? Since when were you working night shifts at MHOP?
I need — I mean, we need the money.
But I provide for you, right baby?
Not really, no. I make more as a lunchlady, and that’s really saying something.
Actually, scratch that. Lemme have the Ham Slam with cheese and a side of Don’t Go Bacon My Heart.
Otto, can you give us a minute here? Also, you should really try the French toast. It’s delicious.
Right on, amigo!
Are you not telling me something?
I’m not not telling you something.
The Couch Caper Pt. 5[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
You’re right, Dora. Losing my trumpet is probably a sign that I need to get my life together and try to provide for you more.
So I guess my days of jazz are over.
I’m sorry, Skinny.
First thing Monday morning I’m going to get me a job that’ll make me the man you first decided to casually date.
Oh, thank you.
But first things first, let’s scrounge up what money we do have so we can find a new place and get out of this dump.
End[]
Character
Dialogue
*searching the couch cushions* There’s got to be money in here somewhere! Hold on, what’s this? *gasps* My trumpet!
*gasps*
Don’t pretend to be surprised, Dora.
No, Manacek. You haven’t solved anything. My trumpet was right here in the couch cushions the whole time!
But was it? *flashback* It was a simple matter of Lunchlady Dora pretending to look for your trumpet when in reality she was hiding it right under your caboose.
But then why would she leave it in the couch?
Because that’s not your trumpet. It’s a perfect replica — examine the polish.
It tastes unlacquered! It’s a silver varnish instead of brass.
Once you left to pick up your dry cleaning, Lunchlady Dora went straight to King Toot’s to sell your trumpet to the highest bidder.
And after selling that trumpet’s weight in brass, Lunchlady Dora thought she was in the clear. But then…you ran into me.
So, panicking, she made a perfect replica of the trumpet, then stuffed that replica back into the couch.
Nothing you say makes any sense!
Oh, and one more thing. She’s having an affair with King Toot.
Okay, it’s all true! I admit it! I needed the money! And I needed King Toot! He’s the one I love!
I’m sorry, Manacek. I should have never doubted you.
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