The Coolest Loser is a side questline that was released on June 26, 2019, for the Game of Games 2019 Event. It requires the character Report Card.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
The Coolest Loser Pt. 1 Make Database Admire the Comic
Make Report Card Brag About Finding the Comic
4h
4h
Cash100
Experience10
Report Card
The Coolest Loser Pt. 2 Make Report Card Play Make Believe 4h Cash100
Experience10
Report Card
The Coolest Loser Pt. 3 Make Report Card Become a Professional Streamer 12h Cash200
Experience20
Homer

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

The Coolest Loser Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Report Card Happy Icon.png Hey Database, want to see something cool?
Database Icon.png Cooler than an ellipse with foci at plus and minus 1?
Report Card Icon.png No, not that cool. I found a Radioactive Man #1 comic at a garage sale.
Database Annoyed Icon.png Illogical. Why would someone sell such a valuable treasure?
Report Card Sad Icon.png It was Principal Skinner’s and his mother made him sell it.

End[edit | edit source]

No dialogue.

The Coolest Loser Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Report Card Annoyed Icon.png You pirate scum! You won't get away with our town's doubloons!
x100px Yes we shall, and make you walk the plank into the bargain!
Database Icon.png Are you guys playing pirates?
Report Card Happy Icon.png Yeah! You want to be a terrified victim who begs for mercy?
Database Annoyed Icon.png No, I want to manage the pirate loot spreadsheet.
Report Card Annoyed Icon.png No way. I’m the leader, I get to do the accounting.

End[edit | edit source]

No dialogue.

The Coolest Loser Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Surprised Icon.png Hey, did you know you can get paid to play video games?
Homer Ooh Icon.png Giant amounts of money to push buttons that go beep boop.
Report Card Happy Icon.png What am I doing in school then?!
Report Card Icon.png From now on my name is “Tore Up His Report Card”.

End[edit | edit source]

No dialogue.


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