The Battle of Thanksgiving is the main quest for the Thanksgiving 2014 Event. Both the Puritan Flanders and Sacagawea Lisa costumes are awarded to players for free after the first part of the quest. Completing this questline awards the player a Cornucopia.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time Triggered By
Thanksgiving Season 2014 Make Puritan Flanders Educate Homer 6h Logging In
The Battle of Thanksgiving Pt. 1 Make Puritan Flanders Perform an Exorcism
Make Sacagawea Lisa Get Exorcised
12h Lisa
The Battle of Thanksgiving Pt. 2 Make Puritan Flanders Self-Punish 4h Sacagawea Lisa
The Battle of Thanksgiving Pt. 3 Make Puritan Flanders Read Revelation Passages
Make Rod & Todd Listen to Stories
Make Sacagawea Lisa Shop for Thanksgiving Food
Puritan Flanders
The Battle of Thanksgiving Pt. 4 Make Puritan Flanders Self-Punish 4h Puritan Flanders

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Thanksgiving Season 2014[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "Thanksgiving!"
"The high holiday of gorging!"
"Uncluttered with Yule logs, Easter egg hunts, flag saluting or the yoinking out of groundhogs."
Ned Icon.png "It's also a time for solemn prayer and giving thanks to Our--"
Homer Icon.png "Stuff it, Flanders!"
"Like every holiday, the turkey season combines my three favorite things --"
"Eating, quests and prizes."
Ned Icon.png "But do you have any idea what day comes AFTER Thanksgiving?"
Homer Icon.png "LEFTOVERS DAY!"
Ned Icon.png "I was talking about Black Friday."
Homer Icon.png "Martin Luther King Day?"
Ned Icon.png "You really are clueless. Looks like I'm going to have to educate you in the manner of Miles Flandish."
Puritan Flanders Icon.png "One-two, buckle my shoes! Three four Pilgrim-ize some more!"

The Battle of Thanksgiving Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon.png "Dad, you need to learn the real history of Thanksgiving."
Homer Icon.png "Sorry but the Puritan has spoken."
"Unless you've got an equal or better costume, this conversation is over."
Lisa Icon.png "Allow me to introduce..."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "Sacagawea!"
Homer Icon.png "Saca-ga-what-huh?"
Puritan Flanders Icon.png "Don't listen to her, Homer! She's covered in the devil's totems and pagan squiggles on buckskin!"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "I realize Sacagawea wasn't part of Thanksgiving, but I had this costume leftover from Halloween."
"I was going to wear it then..."
"But I switched to Elsa from “Frozen” instead, along with every other 8 year-old in the world."
Puritan Flanders Icon.png "All I see is a little girl possessed by a Sacagawean demon!"

The Battle of Thanksgiving Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Rev. Lovejoy Icon.png "Lisa was just playing dress-up, Ned. Creativity should be exercised, not exorcized."
Puritan Flanders Icon.png "Reverend, child's play and devil's play travel the same trails."
Rev. Lovejoy Icon.png "What trail are you on with those Pilgrim togs and half-cocked blunderbuss?"
Homer Icon.png "Hahahaha, half-cocked blunderbuss!"
Puritan Flanders Icon.png "Tee-hee."
"Oh, no! Those words are just north of being blasphemous! And I lightly chuckled at them!"

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Puritan Flanders Icon.png "Homer, I want to apologize for how I judged your daughter, Sacaga-Lisa."
"I've taken the liberty of giving myself a double dose of self-weltin' flagellation."
"It whipped my warped noodle straight."
Homer Icon.png "Mmmm… warped noodles."

The Battle of Thanksgiving Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Puritan Flanders Icon.png "Lisa, I want to apologize for pushing my views onto you. I hope there's hard feelings, because I know I deserve them."
"Deserve them badly..."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "No-no-no, put the whip down! We're OK, you and I!"
"Let's put everything behind us by going out and buying a feast-full of Thanksgiving food."
Todd Icon.png "But Daddy, what about our bedtime story?"
Puritan Flanders Icon.png "Is it 4PM already?"
"No worries. Lisa, here's my credit card. Go Catholic crazy!"
"Better make that Baptist crazy -- I'm close to my limit on that card. "

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Puritan Flanders Icon.png "Blazin' butterballs! This credit card bill pops my turkey timer! What is all this?!"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "It's an all-vegetarian meal!"
"A Thanksgiving dinner where nothing has to feel pain in order for us to feel full."
Professor Frink Icon.png "Actually, fruits and vegetables feel tremendous pain."
"The human ear just can't hear their horrific screams."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "I never knew..."
"I guess I could switch from vegetables to just eating dirt."
Professor Frink Icon.png "Nghhey-hey! It's a Frink fib!"
"Crunch carrots and munch mangos all you want! They don't feel a thing."

The Battle of Thanksgiving Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Puritan Flanders Icon.png "That faux fowl stuffing smells good enough to make a Puritan's head bow!"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "And the pièce de résistance – a centerpiece that the whole town can enjoy!"
Puritan Flanders Icon.png "That's a premium decoration! You spent my donuts without asking?"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "Are you angry?"
Puritan Flanders Icon.png "Well, it did make my turkey skin a little crispy."
*Sigh* "Anger's a sin, ain't it?"
Come back the Monday before Thanksgiving to see how the turkey tale continues.
— In Game Message
Check in every day between Monday Nov. 24th and Sunday December 1st for limited time quests and special reward-a-roonies!
— In Game Message

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