The Bad Shepherd

The Bad Shepherd is a side questline that was released on December 6, 2016, for the Winter 2016 Event. It requires the character The Parson.

Quests Edit

Quest	Requirements	Time	Reward	Triggered By
The Bad Shepherd Pt. 1	Make the Parson Sermonize at Rev. Lovejoy	8h	100 10	The Parson
The Bad Shepherd Pt. 2	Make Rev. Lovejoy Advertise the Parson's Speech Make the Parson Sermonize the Old Hits Make Ned Notice His Moustache Tingle	60m 60m 60m	100 10	The Parson
The Bad Shepherd Pt. 3	Make Lovejoy Advertise the Parson's Performance Make the Parson Sing Psalm 98:5 Make Ned Notice His Moustache Tingle Again	12h 12h 12h	100 10	The Parson
The Bad Shepherd Pt. 4	Make the Parson Tear it Up	4h	100 10	The Parson
The Bad Shepherd Pt. 5	Make the Parson Spread the Word	24h	100 10	The Parson

Dialogue Edit

The Bad Shepherd Pt. 1 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Parson! To what do I owe this, uh, pleasure?
	Your former congregation walks the streets paying homage to river spirits and you wonder why I'm here?
	I've tried, I really have!
	We in the Presbylutheran Church can stomach losing the occasional member to the Lutherterians.
	They're a heretical lot, doomed to hellfire, but, you know, I see the appeal. I get it.
	But PAGANISM, Tim? Really?

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	It's just a slump! I've had them before!
	Your numbers are down for the twelfth straight quarter. That's not a slump. That's a one-way ticket to the Saskatoon parish.
	Now, we're gonna fix this, or you can pack your bags.

The Bad Shepherd Pt. 2 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Timothy, gather your flock. I am going to address them personally.
	That's incredible! You haven't spoken publicly since 1983!
	And I swore I never would again. The last time I sermonized, my words were so holy twelve old widows burst into flame.
	But the situation is dire. Time to play the old hits.

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	That... that was incredible!
	I wish the rest of the congregation agreed. Those pentagram-wearing weirdos just stared at me...
	See? I told you!
	I performed all my 80's hits: “God: Your Personal Yoda,” “LPs are the Old Testament, CDs the New” and “Faith: the Jane Fonda Workout for Your Soul.”
	Has my material gone stale?

The Bad Shepherd Pt. 3 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Time to bring out the big guns.
	Gather the troops, Timothy. Tomorrow, the Parson will croon this town back to God.

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	AUUUUGHHH! PARSON, WE LOVE YOU! WHOOOOO!
	Still nothing! What is with these people?
	I don't mean to gloat, but I did tell you--
	Saskatoon, Tim. Saskatoon.
	Shutting up now, sir.

The Bad Shepherd Pt. 4 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	It appears that the situation is much worse than I thought.
	I need to commune with the Lord in quiet contemplation.
	Where's the nearest golf course?

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	I have consulted with the Holy Spirit.
	What did he say?
	Mostly complained about His clubs. He shot an 85. He's a 7 handicap, so a rough day for Him out there.

The Bad Shepherd Pt. 5 Edit

Start Edit

Character	Dialogue
	So... what's the plan to win back our flock?
	First, I'm going to peal off in my golf cart.
	And then?
	I don't know, spread the Word maybe. Point is, this town gives me the creeps. You're welcome to it.

End Edit

Character	Dialogue
	Yay, a golf cart!
	If you'll come to church this Sunday, I'll let you drive it, son.
	No thank you. I worship a tree. Tree said he'll buy me a fire truck.
	I hate this town...