Thankless Thanksgiving is the main quest from the Thanksgiving 2013 Event. This quest starts with the unlocking of Sacagawea Lisa. Completion of this quest unlocks the Turkey.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 1 Make Sacagawea Lisa Sulk 60m
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 2 Make Homer Find a Nice Turkey on Cletus's Farm 2h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 3  Make Homer Organize a Search Party for Missing Turkeys 24h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 4 Make Moe, Ned, and Homer Hunt for Turkeys 12h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 5 Make Springfielders Attend a Wake for Thanksgiving (x10) 4h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 6 Make Sacagawea Lisa Care for Kidnapped Turkeys 24h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 7 Make Sacagawea Lisa Take a Trip to Cletus’s Farm 2h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 8 Make Cletus Whittle a Turkey Caller 12h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 9 Make Sacagawea Lisa Call Turkeys (x10)
Collect Turkeys (x10)
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 10 Make Sacagawea Lisa Go to her Room 60m
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 11 Make Sacagawea Lisa Mourn Thanksgiving Turkey Massacre 8h
Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 12 Make Lisa Enjoy a Turkey-Free Thanksgiving
Make Homer, Marge and Bart Endure a Turkey-Free Thanksgiving

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Thankless Thanksgiving Prologue[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "What's the weird paper stuff in the mailbox?"
Lisa Icon.png "It's called "mail."
Homer Icon.png "You mean they invented a paper version of electronic mail? Science is amazing! Ooh! A big "mail"! Maybe it's full of more "paper"."
Lisa Icon.png "It's a Sacagawea costume I ordered. I saved up all my Sacagawea dollars to pay for it."
Homer Icon.png "Honey, the dollar doesn't have Sacawhoever on it. It has George Washington, the inventor of money."
Lisa Icon.png "I wanted to dress up as Sacagawea to celebrate the rich cultural history of Thanksgiving."
Homer Icon.png "A white girl dressing up like a native American? I don't know, that sounds a little racist to me."
Lisa Icon.png "Just give me the costume."
Sacagawea Lisa has been placed in your inventory.
— In Game Message

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "That costume looks great on you Lisa. You're the cutest racist I've ever seen!"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "Stop calling me that!"
Homer Icon.png "If I walked around pretending to be W.E.B. Dubois, whoever that is, you'd call ME racist."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "That's true...but...because...cultural...something...I SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON THIS COSTUME!!"
Homer Icon.png "Wampum, sweetie. You spent all your wampum on this costume."

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "Dad, I was thinking...maybe this year we could have a vegetarian Thanksgiving."
Homer Icon.png "So just because you feel guilty about walking around in a racist costume, I have to suffer?"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "STOP CALLING ME RACIST!!!"
Homer Icon.png "How about "racish?" The "ish" means it's not fully racist, but still a little."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "Talking to you I feel an even deeper connection with oppressed peoples everywhere."
Homer Icon.png "Great, maybe you can dress up as them next."
"In the meantime, don't change the only thing we know about Thanksgiving: THEY ATE TURKEY."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png *Sigh* "I'm the only animal rights activist in this whole town."
Homer Icon.png "Activish."

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "Hey Apu! Turkey me!"
Apu Icon.png "Oh but that I could turkey you, Mr. Homer."
Homer Icon.png "TURKEY ME!!!"
Apu Icon.png "Unfortunately none of my ususal brands of turkeys were delivered. Not the Butterbutts, not the Gobbler Deluxe, not even a single Drumstick King."
Apu Icon.png "If you want a Thanksgiving turkey, your only hope is to go to a farm and buy one."
Homer Icon.png "You mean... ME turkey me?"
Start task
Homer Icon.png "Hey Cletus, hook me up with your fattest most juicy turkey!"
Cletus Icon.png "Want me to kill it and pluck it for ya?"
Homer Icon.png "Why should you have all the fun? I've got a beheading axe in the car... barely used."
Cletus Icon.png "Well, the turkey's out back. Don't forget to drain the blood."
Homer Icon.png "Please. Ending the life of turkeys by draining their blood is my life blood."
Cletus Icon.png "You a silly feller all right I reckon."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "Hey ding-dong, there's no turkeys out there. Just meth labs and kids smoking meth. And a lot of meth just lying around."
Cletus Icon.png "My gobblers has been taken?! Oh, this is terrible! I'm so sad, I'm gonna need me a whole lotta meth."
Homer Icon.png "No Cletus, this is one problem meth can't solve. Did anything strange happen that could explain the missing turkeys?"
Cletus Icon.png "Couple a nights ago I was milkin' the cow, and smokin' meth, in the barn when I sees bright lights."
Homer Icon.png "ALIENS! They must have been kidnapped by aliens!"
Kang Icon.png "Why would we eat the dry meat of turkets when we can gorge ourselves on the tender flesh of turkey-fattened humans?"
Kodos Icon.png "Turkey-fattened humans are our foie gras!"
Homer Icon.png "What about regular foie gras?"
Kang Icon.png "We would never eat that! It's cruel!"

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "Something terrible has happened! I don't have blood on my hands!"
Marge Icon.png "That sounds like a good thing. Please let it be a good thing."
Homer Icon.png "No, the blood on my hands that I crave is turkey blood. But all of the live turkeys are missing!"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "What about a vegetarian turkey? A tofurkey? Or a seitan-urkey? Or a spelt-urkey?"
Homer Icon.png "How about a barf-urkey with extra barf sauce and a side of barf stuffing, barf potatoes and barfberry jelly with barf pie a la barf for dessert?"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "Vegan food doesn't taste like barf. Except quinoa."
Homer Icon.png "Don't worry. I'll get back our turkeys, with an old-fashioned turkey hunt."
"Now where do we keep our dynamite?"

End[edit | edit source]



Homer Icon.png

Moe Icon.png "Hey Homer…"
Homer Icon.png "Flanders?"
Ned Icon.png "Yes?"
Homer Icon.png "I hate you"
Ned Icon.png "You keep telling me that."
Homer Icon.png "Also, I need your help."

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "Gentlemen. We are about to embark on the most important mission of our lives."
Ned Icon.png "Oh dear! Did a child go missing? Did an elderly person with dementia wander off?"
Moe Icon.png "Did some kinda monkey with a deadly virus escape from a secret lab and we gotta capture it alive to create an antidote before it turns us into Planet of the Apes?"
Homer Icon.png "Worse. And different. All the turkeys in Springfield have gone missing. It’s up to us to hunt them down, otherwise this year’s Thanksgiving will be….Vegetarian!"
Ned Icon.png

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "We can’t find the turkeys anywhere!"
Ned Icon.png "God will be so sad that we aren’t eating his blessed creatures on a day celebrating the stealing of a land from his other blessed creatures."
Moe Icon.png "On the bright side, I did find a diseased monkey that might or might not have turned us into a Planet of the Apes. I hired it to work the bar."
Homer Icon.png "I think it’s time to face facts. This Thanksgiving, we won’t be eating anything with a face."
Moe Icon.png (GASP)
Ned Icon.png (GASP)

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Ned Icon.png "It just doesn’t feel like Thanksgiving without turkey."
Homer Icon.png "Deliciously decapitated turkey."
Moe Icon.png "With sauces made from its death drippings."
Homer Icon.png "Let’s face it. Without a dead turkey, it’s Thanksgiving itself that’s dead."

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 6[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "Everyone seems to think Thanksgiving is all about gluttony and ceaseless consumption."
"A sparse, frugal and healthy meal of steamed Swiss Chard and assorted other international chards should cure them of their obsession with meat."
"Without dead flesh in their stomachs, Springfielders will experience a heightened sense of peace and well-being."
"And so will I…as I hang out with the living turkeys I’ve hidden in the brown house!"
*sneaky chuckle*

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 7[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "Oh no! The turkeys are gone! They must have escaped while I was feeling self-satisfied!"
Turkey Icon.png *Gobble gobble*
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "Except this little gobbler, who fell asleep listening to one of my many tiresome speeches to myself. Don’t worry little turkey! I’ll find your friends and save them from becoming part of this carnivorous festival of death!"
Turkey Closedeyes Icon.png Zzzzz…
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "Oh…, my self-involved monologue must have put him to sleep. Maybe I can get some help from someone who actually knows about animals, instead of just talking about them all the time."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "Cletus, chould you share your country wisdom so that I might find escaped turkeys?"
Cletus Icon.png "Don't you patronize me."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "What?"
Cletus Icon.png "I knows when a city feller is talking down to me. I’m country, not stupid."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "You’re right…I’m sorry. You’re not stupid."
Cletus Icon.png "I'm just joshin' ya. I is stupid! Powerful stupid!"

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 8[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Cletus Icon.png "To catch a Turkey, you'd need a Turkey caller."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "Do you have a turkey caller I can...borrow?"
Cletus Icon.png "Borrow? That’s communist talk! I’ll trade you one for some of those foot-bags you got."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "You mean shoes?"
Cletus Icon.png "No! Your foot bags!!!"

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 9[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "What a funny looking contraption. UGH! And the sound is so incredibly annoying!"
Bart Icon.png "Funny looking and annoying? Is it a Lisa?"
*more laughs*
*even more laughs*
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png *annoyed grumbling*

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "What the heck is all that gobbling?"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "Gobbling? It’s…uh…goblins! Yea, goblins! Happy Halloween! Trick or Treat! Boooo!"
Homer Icon.png "Halloween goblins? Happy Halloween everyone! Wait, this isn’t the Halloween update! It’s the Thanksgiving update."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "Uhhh..."
Cletus Icon.png "I thought I heard some Halloween goblins, but it turns out it's..."
"... MY TURKEYS!!!"

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 10[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "Umm…dad…you know how the turkeys have been missing for a while now? I kidnapped them. And then I locked them up in the Brown House. And then they escaped."
Homer Icon.png "HALLELUJAH! Thanksgiving IS saved! And also, GO TO YOUR ROOM!"

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "You should be ashamed of yourself, young lady. Trying to rob Springfield of its God-given right to turkey dinner!"
Lisa Icon.png "All I wanted to do was save a few innocent lives."
Homer Sacagawea Icon.png "As further punishment, I will wear your Sacagawea costume in a scarcastic fashion."
Lisa Icon.png "This is the worst Thanksgiving ever!"
Homer Sacagawea Icon.png "No, it's the worst Thanksgiving yet."

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 11[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Sacagawea Icon.png "WOO HOO! Thanksgiving is back on!"
Lisa Icon.png "You mean Turkey-geddon is back on?"
Homer Icon.png "Oh Lisa. Don't be such a Thanksgiving-pooper. At least I gave you your costume back."
Lisa Icon.png "It's stretched out like a circus tent and smells like pork chops. So yeah, Dad, thanks."

After Sent on Quest[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "Ohhh, I hate seeing my children doing a guilt-trip job."

Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 12[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Marge Icon.png "Homie... Our poor little Lisa... I haven't seen her this sad in ages."
Homer Icon.png *grumble* "Oh fine! We can have a turkey-free Thanksgiving this year."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "REALLY?!"
Marge Icon.png "REALLY?!"
Bart Icon.png "REALLY?!"
Turkey Icon.png *Gobble Gobble*?!
Homer Icon.png "Yes. Really. If..."
"... I can eat a whole cow for Christmas!"
Cow Icon.png *Mooo*?!?!?!?!?!

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Cletus Icon.png "I wants you to keep this turkey as a re-ward."
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "You know who really deserves this turkey?"
Cletus Icon.png "The real life player who wasted his hard-earned money buying imaginary pictures from a 25-year old TV show?"
Sacagawea Lisa Icon.png "No... Me. You were right the first time."
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