St. Patrick's Day 'assacre is a limited-time premium side quest line released on March 16, 2016 for the St. Easter 2016 Event.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 1 Make the IPA* Secretly Drink IPAs at O'Flanagan's [x3] 4h Cash100
Experience10
Groundskeeper Seamus
St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 2 Make Seamus Drink a Can of Beer
Make Willie Drink a Can of Scotch
60m
60m
Cash100
Experience10
Groundskeeper Seamus
St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 3 Make Seamus Fight Willie 2h Cash100
Experience10
Groundskeeper Seamus
St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 4 Reach Level 19 and Build Springfield Penitentiary
Make Seamus Go to Jail
Make Willie Go to Jail
Make Wiggum Hunt Leprechauns
-
24h
24h
24h
Cash100
Experience10
Groundskeeper Seamus
St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 5 Make Seamus Eat Liquor Chocolates
Make Willie Eat Liquor Chocolates
2h
2h
Cash175
Experience45
Groundskeeper Seamus
St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 6 Make Seamus fight Willie 2h Cash420
Experience100
Groundskeeper Seamus

* Characters: Groundskeeper Seamus, Father Sean, Homer, Roscoe, Tom O'Flanagan

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Groundskeeper Seamus Icon.png Alright b'ys, time to knock noggins about St. Patrick's Day. But let's keep it twisted under our twill.
Homer Icon.png Wait a minute, are you with that drunken Irish militant group?
Groundskeeper Happy Seamus Icon.png There's some redundancy there but that's us. The Irish Pride Alliance. IPA for short!
Homer Happy Icon.png IPA?! IB swayed! I'm in!

St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Groundskeeper Seamus Drunk Icon.png St. Patrick's day should be every day. Beer all year!
Willie Angry Icon.png Speaking on behalf o' the town: stop this drunken Irish mayhem!
Moe Angry Icon.png Hey buddy, what do you got against drinking and mayhem?
Willie Icon.png Nothing. I just want t' make room for drunken Scottish mayhem!

St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Groundskeeper Seamus Drunk Icon.png HEY! I know you! Yer that other bloody groundskeeper! All ye haggis eaters look alike.
Willie Drunk Icon.png Keep yer unconherent blithering t' yerself you tater 'ating dunderheid!

St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Shredded Ned Icon.png Since I'm pumped AND popular, maybe I should throw an Easter party!
Tom O'Flanagan Icon.png Looks like fisticuffs and brouhahas are breakin' out all over!
Quimby Annoyed Icon.png If I can't bury my head to all this malarkey, I'll have to institute martial law!
Jasper Icon.png My beard's talking to me and its got a better idea – ban all Irish from entering Springfield.
Jasper Icon.png My beard's tough on outsiders.
Wiggum Icon.png Ban all Irish?! That's horrible! Wait. I'm not Irish. Okay... let's ban all Irish!

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Groundskeeper Seamus Icon.png Ugh, Seamus is so hungover... with the biggest headache ever.
Willie Icon.png Quit bellyachin'. Yer headache is no bigger than Willie's!
Willie Icon.png I'll need to toss back a couple more if we're bangin' heads again.

St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Groundskeeper Seamus Icon.png We're outta the barley mash and I've lost the will to fight me friend.
Willie Icon.png Lost the will to fight a friend?! Then you've lost the will to live!
Homer Icon.png If you need more liquid anger, I have some chocolate-covered liquor candy!
Homer Icon.png Most are from Christmas. They might have gone bad--
Groundskeeper Seamus Icon.png THAT'LL do 'er!

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Groundskeeper Seamus Icon.png These old chocolate liquor bottles are amazing!
Willie Icon.png I'm a kid at Christmas again – drunk and sick to me stomach!

St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 6[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Groundskeeper Seamus Icon.png ...So an Irishman walks OUT of a bar... I'm kiddin'. It can't happen.
Willie Icon.png HAHAHA, I love when the Irish knock their own!
Groundskeeper Seamus Icon.png It's a warm up to knockin' the Scots, ya bagpipe blowin' caber tosser!
Willie Icon.png Git a sense o' humor ya bleedin' tick, geebag, dried-up haggis!


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