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St. Patrick's Day 'assacre is a limited-time premium side quest line released on March 16, 2016 for the St. Easter 2016 Event.

Quests[]

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 1 Make the IPA* Secretly Drink IPAs at O'Flanagan's [x3] 4h Cash100
Experience10
Groundskeeper Seamus
St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 2 Make Seamus Drink a Can of Beer
Make Willie Drink a Can of Scotch
60m
60m
Cash100
Experience10
Groundskeeper Seamus
St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 3 Make Seamus Fight Willie 2h Cash100
Experience10
Groundskeeper Seamus
St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 4 Reach Level 19 and Build Springfield Penitentiary
Make Seamus Go to Jail
Make Willie Go to Jail
Make Wiggum Hunt Leprechauns
-
24h
24h
24h
Cash100
Experience10
Groundskeeper Seamus
St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 5 Make Seamus Eat Liquor Chocolates
Make Willie Eat Liquor Chocolates
2h
2h
Cash175
Experience45
Groundskeeper Seamus
St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 6 Make Seamus fight Willie 2h Cash420
Experience100
Groundskeeper Seamus

* Characters: Groundskeeper Seamus, Father Sean, Homer, Roscoe, Tom O'Flanagan

Dialogue[]

St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 1[]

Character Dialogue
Groundskeeper Seamus Icon Alright b'ys, time to knock noggins about St. Patrick's Day. But let's keep it twisted under our twill.
Homer Icon Wait a minute, are you with that drunken Irish militant group?
Groundskeeper Happy Seamus Icon There's some redundancy there but that's us. The Irish Pride Alliance. IPA for short!
Homer Happy Icon IPA?! IB swayed! I'm in!

St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 2[]

Character Dialogue
Groundskeeper Seamus Drunk Icon St. Patrick's day should be every day. Beer all year!
Willie Angry Icon Speaking on behalf o' the town: stop this drunken Irish mayhem!
Moe Angry Icon Hey buddy, what do you got against drinking and mayhem?
Willie Icon Nothing. I just want t' make room for drunken Scottish mayhem!

St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 3[]

Character Dialogue
Groundskeeper Seamus Drunk Icon HEY! I know you! Yer that other bloody groundskeeper! All ye haggis eaters look alike.
Willie Drunk Icon Keep yer unconherent blithering t' yerself you tater 'ating dunderheid!

St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 4[]

Start[]

Character Dialogue
Shredded Ned Icon Since I'm pumped AND popular, maybe I should throw an Easter party!
Tom O'Flanagan Icon Looks like fisticuffs and brouhahas are breakin' out all over!
Quimby Annoyed Icon If I can't bury my head to all this malarkey, I'll have to institute martial law!
Jasper Icon My beard's talking to me and its got a better idea – ban all Irish from entering Springfield.
Jasper Icon My beard's tough on outsiders.
Wiggum Icon Ban all Irish?! That's horrible! Wait. I'm not Irish. Okay... let's ban all Irish!

End[]

Character Dialogue
Groundskeeper Seamus Icon Ugh, Seamus is so hungover... with the biggest headache ever.
Willie Icon Quit bellyachin'. Yer headache is no bigger than Willie's!
Willie Icon I'll need to toss back a couple more if we're bangin' heads again.

St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 5[]

Start[]

Character Dialogue
Groundskeeper Seamus Icon We're outta the barley mash and I've lost the will to fight me friend.
Willie Icon Lost the will to fight a friend?! Then you've lost the will to live!
Homer Icon If you need more liquid anger, I have some chocolate-covered liquor candy!
Homer Icon Most are from Christmas. They might have gone bad--
Groundskeeper Seamus Icon THAT'LL do 'er!

End[]

Character Dialogue
Groundskeeper Seamus Icon These old chocolate liquor bottles are amazing!
Willie Icon I'm a kid at Christmas again – drunk and sick to me stomach!

St. Patrick's Day 'assacre Pt. 6[]

Character Dialogue
Groundskeeper Seamus Icon ...So an Irishman walks OUT of a bar... I'm kiddin'. It can't happen.
Willie Icon HAHAHA, I love when the Irish knock their own!
Groundskeeper Seamus Icon It's a warm up to knockin' the Scots, ya bagpipe blowin' caber tosser!
Willie Icon Git a sense o' humor ya bleedin' tick, geebag, dried-up haggis!


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