Have Boardwalk Sections (x31) Reach Level 19 and Build Crypto Barn
100 10
Dialogue[]
Squidport Pt. 1[]
Character
Dialogue
"D'oh!"
"What's wrong, Dad?"
"Oh, that wasn't an annoyed "d'oh" -- I was just thinking about "dough"." "Like the delicious fried dough they used to sell down at the waterfront." "Get in the car, kids! We're going to the Squidport!"
"Dad, remember? You blew up the town. There is no Squidport."
"D'oh!"
"That one was an annoyed d'oh."
"I suppose we could rebuild the Squidport. It'd be nice to see our town finally stretch down to the water."
"Get in the car, kids! We're going to rebuild the Squidport!"
"Nobody "gets in cars" anymore. We all just walk around aimlessly on the streets."
"D'oh!"
"Which kind was that?"
"Little of both."
Squidport Pt. 2[]
Character
Dialogue
"Okay, water expansion bought!" "...and it was surprisingly easy considering it's prime oceanfront property and all my money is fake."
"Great! Now, we can build the Squidport Entrance."
"You know what they say : "Every great building begins with the door!""
"Who says that?"
"I dunno, building builders, I'm assuming.
Squidport Pt. 3[]
Character
Dialogue
"Mmm, fried dough. A plate-sized glob of wet flour, deep fried and covered with whipped cream... Ow! Chest pains!"
"I need to exercise. By walking a short distance along the boardwalk to get to the Fried Dough Stand."
“
Place the boardwalk section and drag to create a boardwalk.
”
— -In Game Message
Squidport Pt. 4[]
Character
Dialogue
"Ah, the Squidport! Full of charming junkies and colorful runaways, attracted by the smell of carnival food and shady merchants..."
"Wait a minute! My Squidport doesn't have any of that!"
"Dad? Is something wrong?"
"No, Sweetie. Daddy just has to have a talk with some of his real estate partners." "STUPID WATERFRONT! EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF THE JUNKIES AND RUNAWAYS!"
Squidport Pt. 5[]
Character
Dialogue
"Y'arr, the Squidport! This old seadog has spent many a silver here, having me caricature made and eating Dipping Dots." "Tho something's different now, can't lay a finger to it."
"Wait, I have it -- it's become totally lame."
"I know, right? You can't buy a fried anything or squoosh a penny into a worthless flat oval."
"Me men'll get this place into ship-shape. The finest builders what sailed the seas!"
"It makes sense that sailors would know carpentry. They have to constantly repair the ship."
"Aye. We'll start by building a logo store to increase footfalls and up the spill-over effect."
"Okay, now it's making less sense."
"Sailors must also be well versed in mall-science and neuromarketing."
Squidport Pt. 6[]
Character
Dialogue
"T'is a start, but a short boardwalk is like a peg-leg dancing girl. If she's right there, you'll look at 'er, but enh. Ye need to build more Boardwalk."
"How do we do that? I mean, I know... but explain it slowly for the people who aren't as smart as me am."
"Head ye over to the Squidport Entrance and then, er... I don't know, just build it."
End (if Boardwalk section building is rushed with donuts)[]
Character
Dialogue
"And ye can always speed the work along with donuts!"
"What a surprise."
Squidport Pt. 7[]
Character
Dialogue
"Little girl, I need some supplies, where can an old salt get hands on rope and tarps?"
"Are you going out to sea again?"
"Nay, I'm going to an Adele concert and wanted to unfurl a sign that says I heart her. I've got bad seats so it has to be a big one."
"Well, the boardwalk used to have a place that sold camping supplies."
"And it shall again. Fall on, men -- the cheap seats await!"
Squidport Pt. 8[]
Character
Dialogue
"Y'arr! The boardwalk is coming 'round nicely, but still there's something missing."
"Mr. Captain, sir? If I could offer a suggestion... a spruce or two could really, well, spruce things up!"
"That's it exactly, matey! You gay men always have the best design advice."
"Oh, I'm not a homosexual."
"Neither am I, wink-wink! Now let's get to decorating, girlfriend!"
Squidport Pt. 9[]
Character
Dialogue
"Y'arr! I've learned a thing of three in me travels. Things I'd like ta share with the good folk o' Springfield." "Mayhaps a cultural imports store."
"It's so wonderful that you want to expose people to the crafts and cultures of distant peoples!"
"N'arr, I just want to fleece tourists the way the locals fleeced me everywhere I went." "Maybe unload some tribal gew-gaws I got conned inta buying."
Squidport Pt. 10[]
Character
Dialogue
"...and I said, "That's as useful as a tall powder monkey!"?
"I don't get it.?"
"If he was tall, he couldn't fit in the gunwale which would be hilarious because... aw, forget it!?" "My quality sea-comedy's too good for the likes of you. Ye can amuse yerself with the low-rent antics of boardwalk street performers.?"
Squidport Pt. 11[]
Character
Dialogue
"Now this is a boardwalk on which Ahab himself would be proud to play skeeball." "The Squidport is finally ready for the placement of its crowning jewel."
"Jewels? You're going to share your ill-gotten treasure booty with us!"
"Stop calling me a pirate! I meant a metaphorical jewel. Something that weill really make the Squidport shine."
"A fried dough stand?"
"Better than that."
"An Antique Book Store?"
"Better than that."
"A hundred foot tall climbing wall that you parachute down from?"
"Well okay.?"
Squidport Pt. 12[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Homer, I'm beggin' ye. What can I do to have you turn your mighty eatin' power elsewhere?"
"Well, the only reason I even came down to the waterfront was to get some fried dough."
"That's it? That's all we have to do? Yee-haw! I mean... I don't knoe, whatever sailors say when they're happy."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"There, take it! Eat ye vast yellow whale! Eat yer fried dough! Eat like the great sucking whirlpool you are!"
"Hmmm, you know what's funny? I'm not hungry anymore. I'm feeling kind of nappish."
Squidport Pt. 13[]
Character
Dialogue
"Poseidon and Naptune have decided they will only be appeased if we build more random stores on the boardwalk." "I know, I was as surpised as you. Gods, huh? Who can figure 'em out?"
Squidport Pt. 14[]
Character
Dialogue
"Y'arr, salty air and sand have caused me tattoos to fade. That and the obsessive hand washing brought on by me OCD.?" "Time I go in for some fresh ink!?"
Squidport Pt. 15[]
Character
Dialogue
"Mr. Sea Captain? As much as I love your quaint resturant, there really aren't many breakfast options."
"What are ye talking about? The swim bladder of a kipper is a breakfast delicacy on Norwegian prison ships."
"Be that as it may, I think vegetarians would prefer, pretty much anything else. How about muffins?"
"Vegetarians? Preachy blowhards! But I suppose their money's green enough. Let's build your Muffin shop!"
Squidport Pt. 16[]
Character
Dialogue
"The gods have seen that our hearts are true and that we are trying to please them." "Still, they want us to build a store whose named doesn't, in any way, explain what kind of products the store sells. They were that specific."
Epilogue[]
Character
Dialogue
"Y'arr let the bells ring out! The Sea Gods have accepted our offering! The oceans are once again roiling with bountiful sea life. And we are killing it as fast as we can." "And best of all, my resturant is turning a moderate profit, all thanks to my renewed humility and mindfulness." "And the sign I put over the door: "No Fatties!"