Springfield Heights Pt. 1
Build Burns Slant-Drilling Co.
Springfield Heights Pt. 2
Build Red Blazer Realty
Springfield Heights Pt. 3
Make Homer Clear the Tunnel
Springfield Heights Pt. 4
Build Deluxe Condo
The More the Merrier
Unlock Ned Flanders' job at the Shøp
Springfield Heights Pt. 5
Unlock Coffee Shop Make Springfielders Collect Lattes Upgrade a Deluxe Condo to Level 2
- 2m -
Comic Book Guy
The Quests Republic of Condo, Getting Classy and Cubical Dream start
Springfield Heights Pt. 6
Unlock Institute of Technology Make Springfielders Collect Smart Devices (x2)
The Quest Show- Vroom starts
A Clockwork Storage
Unlock Milhouse's job at the Institute of Technology
Springfield Heights Pt. 7
Unlock L.A. Body Works Make Springfielders Collect Yoga Mats (x5)
The Quest Above the Clouds of Springfield starts
Springfield Heights Pt. 8
Unlock John's Pharmaceuticals Make Springfielders Collect Pharmaceuticals (x5)
Springfield Heights Pt. 9
Unlock Heights Theater Make Springfielders Collect Hollywood Awards (x5)
"Smithers, what are those baboons doing in the break room?"
"Unfortunately sir, those are humans. The monkeys we trained have all been poached by competitors."
"I drink your milkshake. And I'll drink your milkshake. And I'll drink your milkshake."
"Okay Homer, we all saw “There Will Be Blood”."
"And read Upton Sinclair’s novel Oil!"
"No wait, none of us did that."
"I don't know what you guys are talking about."
"All I know is that while you're doing it, I'm using this slanty straw I invented... to drink your milkshakes!"
"That's Homer Simpson, sir. He's pretty much the one baboon our competitors didn't get."
"Homer Simpson, eh? Well he's given me an idea -- to reuse an idea I had twenty years ago."
"We struck oil, Smithers! Finally I can join the trillionaires club. I just wish it wasn't so lonely at the clubhouse."
"Just me and those freshly killed endangered species waiting to be stuffed and/or cooked. Maybe I should hire staff."
"Sir, an oil based economy usually brings two things to town: millionaires and an influx of young, brawny single men."
"So we'll both have something to look forward to."
"Err, I'm not sure I follow you, sir."
"I'll have my financial peers and you'll have a lower wage due to increased competition. A Win-Win!"
"But more millionaires could be a threat! Unless I owned their homes. Then I could be their…"
"Smithers, what's the rich version of slum lord? Eh, let's just stick with slum lord."
"Find me a real estate agent!"
"Mr. Burns as a client? Finally, someone with the money, the gumption, and the money to build homes suitable for me to sell."
"Homes? These people buy homes for their dogs! I don't need homes - I need mansions! Although I will need some homes for their dogs."
"The only area that fits that description is Springfield Heights. And lucky for you it's on my turf – the West Side."
"Ah, so that's west, is it? We've never really had a compass direction in this town before."
"Unfortunately it's separated from the town by a chain of mountains."
"If only there were someone in Springfield known to occasionally walk around throwing dynamite."
"Thank you, Homer! Your haphazard use of explosives has cleared the tunnel."
"It's collapsed before, and certainly isn't more structurally sound now... but it's open."
"Glor? Spang? Kleeb? What store is this and why does it only sell rejected fight sound effects?"
"That's the Danish furniture store Shøp! They sell expensive-looking furniture and cheap horsemeat."
"Classy on the outside, trashy on the inside – that's my target clientele!"
"But where will all the trashy on the outside and trashy on the inside people shop? We can't afford those prices."
"Then get off your lazy butt and get a second job. We all have them. It's the American way."
"What's your second job?"
"Real estate agent. My first job is blazer model."
"More work?!? I don't like the American way. Why can't we just ONCE adopt the Canadian way?"
"Mr. Burns, I've some Excel news."
"It's pronounced "Excellent." You left off the "lent"."
"No, I mean I crunched the numbers with Excel and realized that if we build "luxury" condos instead of mansions-"
"We can charge those moneybags full home prices for glorified apartments!"
"Excellent. See, that's how you say it."
"AAAHHH! I can't keep up with all the customers' orders... and all their returns!"
"I think you're not following the instructions right. All these chairs have two legs."
"I thought they were just fancy chairs invented by some snooty Scandinavian designer!"
"Gentrification is coming. I can smell it."
"Allow me to try - I took an online sommelier course in nerd scents. Yes, I smell small-batch pour-over coffee and free wifi."
"*sniff sniff* Two hour limit with purchase."
"It's perfect. First the coffee shops come, then the brunch places, then the dog groomers, and then the dog brunch places."
"Oh shoot. My wallet's too full again and won't close. Quick sweetie, let's buy this here penthouse suite!"
"No, Daddy! Gross. I can't film my next reality show in a condo! People expect a certain level of class from reality TV."
"Plus I need something big enough to fit an underwater confessional cam."
"Most wealthy people have forgotten how to do the most basic of tasks."
"What? I wasn't listening. Smithers! Listen for me!"
"That's why we need to build something for the 1%'s assistants, trust fund managers, professional meat cutters, and mail order mistresses."
"What is it, Apu? You stopped mopping. Is the bucket ready to be poured back into the Squishee machine?"
"I felt a chill - like Springfield finally decided to join the tech crunch. I'm not going to be the only Nahasapeemapetilon in the phone book for much longer."
"You, with the blue hair! Are you done shopping yet? I have to get back to my thesis work."
"How come the ice cream boxes all say 'myPhone' on them and aren't leaking like they normally are?"
"The Institute of Technology ran out of storage, so I said they could keep some of their merchandise here."
"Can I buy them?"
"Sure, but these are previous generation myPhones."
"Oh... nevermind. Let me know when you get more leaky ice cream in."
"Despite my love of the West Side, rich people tend to embrace eastern traditions – sushi, yoga, purchasing girls' underwear from a vending machine."
"I did yoga once back in the seventies. Only back then they called it yogurt, and it was a food not an exercise routine."
"I can also confuse yoga for Yogi Bear. You wanna hear that one?"
"My beautiful wealthy oasis is almost complete. Now we just need a healthy supply of prescription drugs for our bored housewives to get addicted to."
"No, your face is already on too many bench ads. You've been sullied by the butts of the poor!"
"I'd never stoop to a bench ad. Now a stoop ad, that's thinking outside the box. Hmm, a box ad…"
"We haven't had a single wealthy person move in! I don't deserve this real estate blazer or hot air balloon. Hot air balloons are for closers…and balloon enthusiasts."
"Kent Brockman here, reporting on the public outcry for the rich and famous."
"What will bring the elite class to this one horse town? Two horses? In this reporter's opinion – three!"
"The horses? That was my idea! It's copywritten!"
"No! We need a dog and pony show! But instead of dogs and ponies, we have celebrities and celebrity ponies."
"Nothing attracts rich people more than red carpet events."
"All the celebrities had Native Americans accept their awards on their behalf to protest Springfield Heights being built on an ancient burial ground."
"Don't they realize that a haunted house counts as a built-in alarm system? It's a perk!"