"With Krusty's constant pea-cocking, there's no room for advancement for us other performers!" "I'm tired of being a "Z list" celebrity. I yearn for a vowel-list, and it needn't be an "A"." "How hard can it be? All Krusty does is tell jokes then play laughter pre-recorded by prisoners." "I know! I'll write jokes of my own. They'll be urbane and wry – that's what people look for in their comedy!"
"Krusty's tux-fueled hubris is sure to lead to his downfall." "So tonight, I'll rise from Krusty's failure like a Phoenix." "The bird, not the city..." "...definitely not the city." "I can't seem to find my invitation. I swear I'd lose my bone if it wasn't expensively glued to my scalp."
"The invitation never arrived." "You call one network executive an idiot, and they take away your sitcom and blackball you for life." "I'll show them. They may be able to keep me from taking the podium, but they can't keep me out of the building." "By the time anyone realizes I've signed on as Krusty's "plus one", it will be too late!"