Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update
September 5, 2014
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update is the third part of the Level 44 update.
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 1
Database Go to School Make Children Go to School (x8)
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 2
Martin Ride a Bike
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 3
Database Get Bullied
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 4
Database Bully Himself
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 5
Database Browse Magazines on Code
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 6
Database Nerd Out Make Professor Frink Help Database with Crazy Science
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 1 [ edit | edit source ]
"Hello, other children. Would anyone like to see my miniature forest?"
"I would be happy to make one for you for the low, low price of social interaction."
"Eh, we good. We're all busy at the moment."
"Still RAMbunctious to take a BYTE out of Honest John's and C++ what more they have?"
"I used wordplay to show that I'm fun."
"Wordplay is never fun."
"Anything you learn at school – words, numbers, self-identity and how to form meaningful peer relationships – is lame."
"I like wordplay--"
"Uh, thanks for your bonsai offer, Database. But while we're done with Honest John's, we've moved on to other things."
"I'm poking a hive of dying yellow jackets with a dried-up highlighter."
"And I'm leaning my rather large nose waaaay too close--"
"Children, whatever time it is, it's time for school!"
"So you better not be busy on one of your so-called "missions."
"School! There's no way people can avoid interacting with me once they lock the doors!"
*sigh* "That did not sound good. Self-awareness brings so much misery."
"I forgot I'm in the Gifted Child program. Which in Springfield means my classes are by myself."
"Sshhh! Don't let Lisa hear you. I need her to stay in my class to raise the GPA, so I can keep my J-O-B."
"I spelled “job” correctly, right?"
"Yes, Miss Hoover."
"And have tomorrow's lesson plan to me by 10pm tonight."
"I like to review it while my kelp-and-volcanic-mud facial sets."
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 2 [ edit | edit source ]
"Hey Martin! We are like-minded types, i.e. losers, i.e. people who say i.e. -- want to hang?"
"Hang? Now?" "I seem to recall wanting to “hang” once upon a more convenient hour, only to be turned aside like a Timon of Athens or other lesser work of The Bard."
"I'm sorry I didn't invite you to join Superfriends, Martin." "The week we formed it you were a theater ponce, not a tech weenie."
"You change your interests around a lot."
"I am a general, catch-all dork-type and everyone knows it!" "Now good day, sir!"
"Martin, we can be Superfriends 2.0. That's a reference to software upgrades I just thought of--"
"I SAID GOOD DAY!"
"Ahhhh. Nothing restores balance to the mind like an 8 hour bike ride."
"So have you thought over Superfriends 2.0 yet? Think we got a real winner of a notion, I do."
"C'mon, Database. Take a hint. I said, “I SAID GOOD DAY” and everything."
"Oh. “Good day” means “go away.” I get it now."
"In this town, people can find you and talk to you no matter where you are or they are. That is super creepy."
"Though it does explain why we have no phones."
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 3 [ edit | edit source ]
"Hey dweebus, you look sad. If you miss the old Springfield, I can make this place seem just like it."
"Uh, your words sound like a set up to beating me up."
"What? Dolph was expressing sincere thoughts of concern."
"He started off by insulting me." "I thought he was insinuating he'd make new Springfield seem more familiar by hitting me, as he used to do in the past."
"Dolph uses insults to couch his emotions. That's just how Dolph is-"
"Thanks for getting me, Nelson Butt-Muntz."
"We were going to suggest visiting places that were important to you in the old town, and forging a new connection with those places-" "It helps us get through the day."
"You do not get to tell me when I am expressing empathy or not, D-Base!" "You don't know me! You're not my dream journal!"
"I'm sorry, Dolph, truly I am."
"We're bullies, so we don't really do apologies. By our code, there's only one way to gain forgiveness."
"I understand. Please avoid breaking my glasses, if you can." "Whoever is in charge has yet to build an optometrist's office."
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 4 [ edit | edit source ]
"If I had been asked before what body part would be sorest after pounding on a nerd, I wouldn't have said the wrists." "But my arm wigglers are barking!"
"Thanks for spending some time with me, guys." "If you want to meet up to bully me again, I'm open."
"I feel unclean inside. I need a bikini carwash for my soul."
"Doesn't have to be a serious thing. I get you have a lot going on." "Just when you've got no one better to pick on, you know."
"Keep your giant, creep-o head away from us, D-Base!"
"You've taken the purity of hurting those weaker than you and made it seem disgusting."
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 5 [ edit | edit source ]
"Why are you walking around like a humdrum little glum bum. Did someone make fun of your glasses?"
"No. What's wrong with my glasses?"
"Uh… nothing." "Nothing could be wrong with wearing Sally Jesse Raphael's binoculars. It's a flattering look." "I bet I know something that'll pick that chin up. I'm kind of the Number One mom around here." "Don't tell Manjula or Bernice I said that." "All you need to succeed is to be yourself. If you're yourself, then everyone has to like you!"
"That's it! That's exactly how I'll get this town to like me!"
"Mom Number One does it again!" "I'm glad you let me give you some advice. The only time I get to spend guiding my children is when I walk Maggie."
"Actually, your advice was total gibberish." "How can I be anybody but myself?" "Even if I'm uncertain or lying, that's still me. Only dimwit actors pretend to be other people." "For the rest of us, even our pretenses are just explorations of different aspects of our personalities." "What was useful is that what you said was totally idiotic." "Most of what people say is totally idiotic. If they could just see that, then they'd realize they aren't superior to me." "And then they'll be willing to be my friends!"
"If this is being yourself, then you were right. That advice was terrible."
"I just need to find the magazine that contains the source code for the universe." "Let's see: Matrixweek, Matrix Illustrated, Matrix People, McSweeney's Matrix Report, Matrix & Garden…" "Eureka! EA Guide! It's just like TV Guide, only nothing like it!" "This should detail the programming language of our world, which is how I normally talk as I'm a nerd."
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 6 [ edit | edit source ]
"Prof. Frink, whether you're here or not, I need to talk to you!"
"Yes, my young glaven! What goofball science need caused you to seek me out?"
"I'm trying to build a machine that unlocks the code of the universe, so I can make it visible to all."
"This isn't for the hacking and the malware spreading and the free donuts that lose potential corporate income?"
"No. I just want to show people that they're worthless morons so they'll agree to be my friends."
"Ok. Well, that's fine." "You get the fake technology you need from my brand-name line, sold exclusively at Honest John's Computers."
"Honest John's? They carry gloybal circuits AND moyven sprockets?"
"They better." "I didn't put my face on a display table to sell a bunch of tablets and graphing calculators."
"You've done it! Your very first cartoonishly nonsensical contraption. I'm so proud!"
"Thanks. In some way, I feel I have already accomplished my goal." "For I have made a friend in you."
"Yes, oy-um. But you can't count on me." "I'm premium and you're regular -- it's a friendship that some cheapskates won't allow." "Also, once you build a machine, you've got to flip the on switch." "Even the hydrogen bomb got a test drive."
Removed "Task Chains" to replace it by "Task chains that have a Larger Use