"Why are you walking around like a humdrum little glum bum. Did someone make fun of your glasses?"
"No. What's wrong with my glasses?"
"Uh… nothing." "Nothing could be wrong with wearing Sally Jesse Raphael's binoculars. It's a flattering look." "I bet I know something that'll pick that chin up. I'm kind of the Number One mom around here." "Don't tell Manjula or Bernice I said that." "All you need to succeed is to be yourself. If you're yourself, then everyone has to like you!"
"That's it! That's exactly how I'll get this town to like me!"
"Mom Number One does it again!" "I'm glad you let me give you some advice. The only time I get to spend guiding my children is when I walk Maggie."
"Actually, your advice was total gibberish." "How can I be anybody but myself?" "Even if I'm uncertain or lying, that's still me. Only dimwit actors pretend to be other people." "For the rest of us, even our pretenses are just explorations of different aspects of our personalities." "What was useful is that what you said was totally idiotic." "Most of what people say is totally idiotic. If they could just see that, then they'd realize they aren't superior to me." "And then they'll be willing to be my friends!"
"If this is being yourself, then you were right. That advice was terrible."
"I just need to find the magazine that contains the source code for the universe." "Let's see: Matrixweek, Matrix Illustrated, Matrix People, McSweeney's Matrix Report, Matrix & Garden…" "Eureka! EA Guide! It's just like TV Guide, only nothing like it!" "This should detail the programming language of our world, which is how I normally talk as I'm a nerd."
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 6Edit
"You've done it! Your very first cartoonishly nonsensical contraption. I'm so proud!"
"Thanks. In some way, I feel I have already accomplished my goal." "For I have made a friend in you."
"Yes, oy-um. But you can't count on me." "I'm premium and you're regular -- it's a friendship that some cheapskates won't allow." "Also, once you build a machine, you've got to flip the on switch." "Even the hydrogen bomb got a test drive."