Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update is the third part of the Level 44 update.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Triggered By Time
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 1 Make Database Go to School
Make Children Go to School (x8)
Database 6h
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 2 Make Martin Ride a Bike Database 8h
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 3 Make Database Get Bullied Dolph 8h
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 4 Make Database Bully Himself Nelson 60m
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 5 Make Database Browse Magazines on Code Marge 4h
Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 6 Make Database Nerd Out
Make Professor Frink Help Database with Crazy Science
Database 24h

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Database Icon.png "Hello, other children. Would anyone like to see my miniature forest?"
Database Icon.png "I would be happy to make one for you for the low, low price of social interaction."
Bart Rollingeyes Icon.png "Eh, we good. We're all busy at the moment."
Database Icon.png "Still RAMbunctious to take a BYTE out of Honest John's and C++ what more they have?"
Database Icon.png "I used wordplay to show that I'm fun."
Bart Rollingeyes Icon.png "Wordplay is never fun."
Bart Rollingeyes Icon.png "Anything you learn at school – words, numbers, self-identity and how to form meaningful peer relationships – is lame."
Lisa Icon.png "I like wordplay--"
Database Icon.png "FRIEND!"
Lisa Icon.png "Uh, thanks for your bonsai offer, Database. But while we're done with Honest John's, we've moved on to other things."
Bart Icon.png "I'm poking a hive of dying yellow jackets with a dried-up highlighter."
Milhouse Icon.png "And I'm leaning my rather large nose waaaay too close--"
Skinner Icon.png "Children, whatever time it is, it's time for school!"
Skinner Icon.png "So you better not be busy on one of your so-called "missions."
Database Icon.png "School! There's no way people can avoid interacting with me once they lock the doors!"
Database Sad Icon.png *sigh* "That did not sound good. Self-awareness brings so much misery."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Database Icon.png "I forgot I'm in the Gifted Child program. Which in Springfield means my classes are by myself."
Miss Hoover Annoyed Icon.png "Sshhh! Don't let Lisa hear you. I need her to stay in my class to raise the GPA, so I can keep my J-O-B."
Miss Hoover Icon.png "I spelled “job” correctly, right?"
Database Icon.png "Yes, Miss Hoover."
Miss Hoover Annoyed Icon.png "And have tomorrow's lesson plan to me by 10pm tonight."
Miss Hoover Icon.png "I like to review it while my kelp-and-volcanic-mud facial sets."

Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Database Icon.png "Hey Martin! We are like-minded types, i.e. losers, i.e. people who say i.e. -- want to hang?"
Martin Sad Icon.png "Hang? Now?"
"I seem to recall wanting to “hang” once upon a more convenient hour, only to be turned aside like a Timon of Athens or other lesser work of The Bard."
Database Sad Icon.png "I'm sorry I didn't invite you to join Superfriends, Martin."
"The week we formed it you were a theater ponce, not a tech weenie."
Database Icon.png "You change your interests around a lot."
Martin Sad Icon.png "I am a general, catch-all dork-type and everyone knows it!"
"Now good day, sir!"
Database Icon.png "Martin, we can be Superfriends 2.0. That's a reference to software upgrades I just thought of--"
Martin Sad Icon.png "I SAID GOOD DAY!"

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Martin Icon.png "Ahhhh. Nothing restores balance to the mind like an 8 hour bike ride."
Database Icon.png "So have you thought over Superfriends 2.0 yet? Think we got a real winner of a notion, I do."
Martin Sad Icon.png "C'mon, Database. Take a hint. I said, “I SAID GOOD DAY” and everything."
Database Sad Icon.png "Oh. “Good day” means “go away.” I get it now."
Martin Sad Icon.png "In this town, people can find you and talk to you no matter where you are or they are. That is super creepy."
Martin Icon.png "Though it does explain why we have no phones."

Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Dolph Icon.png "Hey dweebus, you look sad. If you miss the old Springfield, I can make this place seem just like it."
Database Sad Icon.png "Uh, your words sound like a set up to beating me up."
Nelson Icon.png "What? Dolph was expressing sincere thoughts of concern."
Database Sad Icon.png "He started off by insulting me."
"I thought he was insinuating he'd make new Springfield seem more familiar by hitting me, as he used to do in the past."
Nelson Icon.png "Dolph uses insults to couch his emotions. That's just how Dolph is-"
Dolph Icon.png "Thanks for getting me, Nelson Butt-Muntz."
Nelson Icon.png "We were going to suggest visiting places that were important to you in the old town, and forging a new connection with those places-"
"It helps us get through the day."
Dolph Angry Icon.png "You do not get to tell me when I am expressing empathy or not, D-Base!"
"You don't know me! You're not my dream journal!"
Database Sad Icon.png "I'm sorry, Dolph, truly I am."
Nelson Icon.png "We're bullies, so we don't really do apologies. By our code, there's only one way to gain forgiveness."
Database Sad Icon.png "I understand. Please avoid breaking my glasses, if you can."
"Whoever is in charge has yet to build an optometrist's office."

Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Nelson Icon.png "If I had been asked before what body part would be sorest after pounding on a nerd, I wouldn't have said the wrists."
"But my arm wigglers are barking!"
Database Icon.png "Thanks for spending some time with me, guys."
"If you want to meet up to bully me again, I'm open."
Dolph Icon.png "I feel unclean inside. I need a bikini carwash for my soul."
Database Icon.png "Doesn't have to be a serious thing. I get you have a lot going on."
"Just when you've got no one better to pick on, you know."
Nelson Angry Icon.png "Keep your giant, creep-o head away from us, D-Base!"
Nelson Icon.png "You've taken the purity of hurting those weaker than you and made it seem disgusting."

Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Marge Sad Icon.png "Why are you walking around like a humdrum little glum bum. Did someone make fun of your glasses?"
Database Icon.png "No. What's wrong with my glasses?"
Marge Icon.png "Uh… nothing."
"Nothing could be wrong with wearing Sally Jesse Raphael's binoculars. It's a flattering look."
"I bet I know something that'll pick that chin up. I'm kind of the Number One mom around here."
"Don't tell Manjula or Bernice I said that."
"All you need to succeed is to be yourself. If you're yourself, then everyone has to like you!"
Database Icon.png "That's it! That's exactly how I'll get this town to like me!"
Marge Icon.png "Mom Number One does it again!"
"I'm glad you let me give you some advice. The only time I get to spend guiding my children is when I walk Maggie."
Database Icon.png "Actually, your advice was total gibberish."
"How can I be anybody but myself?"
"Even if I'm uncertain or lying, that's still me. Only dimwit actors pretend to be other people."
"For the rest of us, even our pretenses are just explorations of different aspects of our personalities."
"What was useful is that what you said was totally idiotic."
"Most of what people say is totally idiotic. If they could just see that, then they'd realize they aren't superior to me."
"And then they'll be willing to be my friends!"
Marge Sad Icon.png "If this is being yourself, then you were right. That advice was terrible."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Database Icon.png "I just need to find the magazine that contains the source code for the universe."
"Let's see: Matrixweek, Matrix Illustrated, Matrix People, McSweeney's Matrix Report, Matrix & Garden…"
"Eureka! EA Guide! It's just like TV Guide, only nothing like it!"
"This should detail the programming language of our world, which is how I normally talk as I'm a nerd."

Seeking A Friend For The End Of This Update Pt. 6[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Database Icon.png "Prof. Frink, whether you're here or not, I need to talk to you!"
Professor Frink Icon.png "Yes, my young glaven! What goofball science need caused you to seek me out?"
Database Icon.png "I'm trying to build a machine that unlocks the code of the universe, so I can make it visible to all."
Professor Frink Sad Icon.png "This isn't for the hacking and the malware spreading and the free donuts that lose potential corporate income?"
Database Icon.png "No. I just want to show people that they're worthless morons so they'll agree to be my friends."
Professor Frink Icon.png "Ok. Well, that's fine."
"You get the fake technology you need from my brand-name line, sold exclusively at Honest John's Computers."
Database Icon.png "Honest John's? They carry gloybal circuits AND moyven sprockets?"
Professor Frink Icon.png "They better."
"I didn't put my face on a display table to sell a bunch of tablets and graphing calculators."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Professor Frink Icon.png "You've done it! Your very first cartoonishly nonsensical contraption. I'm so proud!"
Database Icon.png "Thanks. In some way, I feel I have already accomplished my goal."
"For I have made a friend in you."
Professor Frink Icon.png "Yes, oy-um. But you can't count on me."
"I'm premium and you're regular -- it's a friendship that some cheapskates won't allow."
"Also, once you build a machine, you've got to flip the on switch."
"Even the hydrogen bomb got a test drive."

Removed "Task Chains" to replace it by "Task chains that have a Larger Use

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