After losing a high stakes game of musical chairs to some Russian billionaires, I've been inspired – not coerced - into making some sweeping changes to our education system.
We're going to make public schools more like private ones.
By investing in computers, firing bad teachers, and paying principals a living wage?
No, by charging people to attend them.
Is that legal?
Is anything I do? Besides, this way students will have a choice where they go.
But I'll have to do anything the kids ask me to, just to keep them. Do you really want civil servants sacrificing their integrity for a payout?
Er uh, any additional questions can be directed to my Energy Secretary, Miss Springfield.
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Skinner, if you want my money, I'm going to need you to hand over my permanent record.
Fine, let me get the forklift out of storage.
And I expect you to write my essay on the ethics of plagiarism for me.
Whoa. That's a real mind-bender.
School's Out Forever Pt. 2[]
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How could you let these kids walk all over you?
I think lying face down in the cafeteria was my first mistake.
It just seems so unfair.
Thank you, Homer, I knew I could -
We're the one's who decide where our kids go to school. If anyone gets to walk all over you, it should be US!
But your feet are so much bigger!
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These kids are learning all the wrong skills. Where are the classes on stitching my shirts and building my phone?
That sounds like a sweatshop, Homer, not a school.
Whoa whoa, nobody said anything about paying them. Do it, or we'll take our funding to another school.
School's Out Forever Pt. 3[]
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Homer's ruining the one good part of school! If I can't torment Skinner, what's the point of going?
A love of learning? A desire to gain skills necessary for a better future?
Lisa, know your audience.
You could just pick up and go to another school.
Whoa! Now we're talking. Bart Elementary is opening in my treehouse! The only school with a dishonor roll!
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Oh, Joey, I love when you make those booming proclamations! It takes a brave man to tell people what they want to hear.
The mark of a good politician is standing behind your ideas.
Kids are ditching school faster than adults are ditching religion! Someone please THINK OF THE CHILDREN!