"Principal Skinner? Have you ever thought about what comes after all this?"
"Do you mean the afterlife? Yes, I've got it all figured out." "Heaven will be me and mother sitting in comfy recliners, and I have control of the TV remote." "Hell is the same, but she gets to pick the shows."
"No, I meant what comes after we kids graduate from Springfield Elementary. We need a high school!"
"Well, Seymour, I see you're performing your duties to your usual high standard of sickening incompetence."
"Thank you, sir. As you can see, we still only have a handful of students at Springfield Elementary. It's lovely."
"Yes. I'd almost forgotten how peaceful it is when the entire student body gets blown to Kingdom Come. We'll have to do it more often." "But for now, let's roll up our sleeves and get educating!" "We'll start with the foundation of any strong liberal art education -- standardized test-taking."
"It's not my fault these idiot kids don't know the difference between the decay rate of a top quark and a W boson." "I've provided them with the hands-off rote memorization of atomic numbers that young brains crave. And still, they don't learn!"
"Maybe we could try something a little more interactive. Do you remember the Springfield Knowledgeum?"
"How could I forget it?" "I once dropped a twenty dollar bill there, and I couldn't find it. It was one of the formative experiences of my adult life."
"This is truly amazing. I feel like I am surrounded by knowledge, cradled in the bosom of learning!"
"I would echo your sentiment, but if I say the word "bosom" around a child, I could lose my job."
"Let's split up. Remember -- we're looking for ways to make science fun for kids."
"Or, barring that, some sort of kid-shaped automaton that is good at science tests." "Or, barring that, let's try to determine if there are any job openings in their janitorial team." "And if so, if they'd be interested in someone like me."
"I think I know how to revitalize the science curriculum. Let's do what this place does, and show that science is fun!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lisa. "Science is fun?" I have Masters in Education, young lady." "And one of the things I learned in graduate school is that science is boring and, to use a technical term, sucky. "Even Einstein knew science was a total snooze-fest! Probably, I mean, he was super-smart, so he must've known that."
"I'm telling you -- follow my advice, and Springfield Elementary will be filled with budding scientists in no time."