Make Lisa Spend the Night at the Knowledgeum Make Skinner Spend the Night at the Knowledgeum
12h
12h
100 10
Night At The Knowledgeum Pt. 3
Make Lisa Fix the Science Curriculum Make Skinner Fix the Science Curriculum
12h 12h
100 10
"SKINNERRR?!" Pt 4
Make Chalmers Administer a Science Test
4h
100 10
Dialogue[]
"SKINNERRR?!" Pt 1[]
Character
Dialogue
"Principal Skinner? Have you ever thought about what comes after all this?"
"Do you mean the afterlife? Yes, I've got it all figured out." "Heaven will be me and mother sitting in comfy recliners, and I have control of the TV remote." "Hell is the same, but she gets to pick the shows."
"No, I meant what comes after we kids graduate from Springfield Elementary. We need a high school!"
"SKINNERRR?!" Pt 2[]
Character
Dialogue
"When you have only one school in town, you only need a principal to run it." "But with two schools, we'll need a... a... superintendent."
"And poof, like magic, here I am."
"SKINNERRR?!" Pt 3[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Well, Seymour, I see you're performing your duties to your usual high standard of sickening incompetence."
"Thank you, sir. As you can see, we still only have a handful of students at Springfield Elementary. It's lovely."
"Yes. I'd almost forgotten how peaceful it is when the entire student body gets blown to Kingdom Come. We'll have to do it more often." "But for now, let's roll up our sleeves and get educating!" "We'll start with the foundation of any strong liberal art education -- standardized test-taking."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Seymour, these test scores are abominable! In science, we got the lowest aggregate score ever recorded!"
"It could be argued that, by establishing a new worst, we have in fact made a major contribution to science."
"It could be so argued by an idiot."
"But my point stands."
"This is unacceptable, Skinner! Get out of my office while I think on what to do about this!"
Night At The Knowledgeum Pt. 1[]
Character
Dialogue
"It's not my fault these idiot kids don't know the difference between the decay rate of a top quark and a W boson." "I've provided them with the hands-off rote memorization of atomic numbers that young brains crave. And still, they don't learn!"
"Maybe we could try something a little more interactive. Do you remember the Springfield Knowledgeum?"
"How could I forget it?" "I once dropped a twenty dollar bill there, and I couldn't find it. It was one of the formative experiences of my adult life."
Night At The Knowledgeum Pt. 2[]
Character
Dialogue
"This is truly amazing. I feel like I am surrounded by knowledge, cradled in the bosom of learning!"
"I would echo your sentiment, but if I say the word "bosom" around a child, I could lose my job."
"Let's split up. Remember -- we're looking for ways to make science fun for kids."
"Or, barring that, some sort of kid-shaped automaton that is good at science tests." "Or, barring that, let's try to determine if there are any job openings in their janitorial team." "And if so, if they'd be interested in someone like me."
Night At The Knowledgeum Pt. 3[]
Character
Dialogue
"I think I know how to revitalize the science curriculum. Let's do what this place does, and show that science is fun!"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Lisa. "Science is fun?" I have Masters in Education, young lady." "And one of the things I learned in graduate school is that science is boring and, to use a technical term, sucky. "Even Einstein knew science was a total snooze-fest! Probably, I mean, he was super-smart, so he must've known that."
"I'm telling you -- follow my advice, and Springfield Elementary will be filled with budding scientists in no time."
"SKINNERRR?!" Pt 4[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
"Um, Superintendent Chalmers?"
"Can't you see I'm busy? I'm trying to determine the most painful, humiliating way to fire you." "What I have so far is good, but it doesn't really "sing" yet, you know?"
"Yes, of course. But I think the children should be retested now that they've learned how fun science can be."
"Science is fun?" The very notion goes against centuries of Western thought. I'll admit it -- I'm intrigued."
End[]
Character
Dialogue
"Well, look at that. The kids' test scores are up. Way up! I'm talking "satisfactory" up! Well done, Seymour!"
"Thank you, sir. Although I have to admit, I had help."