Presidential Primaries is a side questline that was released on August 30, 2016, for the SciFi 2016 Event. It requires the character President Lisa.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
Presidential Primaries Pt. 1 Make President Lisa Avoid Molecules 8h Cash100
Experience10
President Lisa
Presidential Primaries Pt. 2 Make President Lisa Disrupt the Timeline 8h Cash100
Experience10
President Lisa
Presidential Primaries Pt. 3 Make President Lisa Look Up Who's Running for President this Year 8h Cash100
Experience10
President Lisa
Presidential Primaries Pt. 4 Make President Lisa Run for President 8h Cash100
Experience10
President Lisa
Presidential Primaries Pt. 5 Make President Lisa Oppose the Venusian Trade Pact 24 Cash100
Experience10
President Lisa
Presidential Primaries Pt. 6 Make President Lisa Watch the Election Returns
Make Lisa Watch the Election Returns
8h
8h
Cash100
Experience10
President Lisa

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Presidential Primaries Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
President Lisa Surprised Icon.png What's going on?! I can breathe the air, but I can't taste it! And the climate doesn't seem as globally warmed.
President Lisa Sad Icon.png And the sea level, although several miles away, seems a lot lower.
Mooch Bart Icon.png We came back in time, Sis! This is the Springfield of our childhood!
President Lisa Sad Icon.png *gasp* But in the future, I was President of the United States! I was helping lead America out of economic and social turmoil!
Mooch Bart Icon.png Stuff's happening here, too. You wanna help me blackmail Krusty?
President Lisa Surprised Icon.png No! We can't do anything, or we might change history! And then I might never get elected President! Just sit perfectly still and don't interact with any molecules!

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
President Lisa Sad Icon.png It's no use! Everywhere I turn it's molecules, molecules, molecules!

Presidential Primaries Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
President Lisa Surprised Icon.png Everything we do is affecting the timeline! I think I just accidentally sat on a butterfly!
Mooch Bart Icon.png So what? You said yourself the future was an environmental and economic disaster. Why not let things change?
President Lisa Annoyed Icon.png Because I want to be President! Plus, your future might be completely changed too! You might never have an ex-wife, or weekend custody of your kids!
Mooch Bart Icon.png And the downside is...?

Presidential Primaries Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
President Lisa Annoyed Icon.png I give up. I guess I just have to accept that history is changing and I'll never get to be President.
Mooch Bart Happy Icon.png Why not run for President here, in the past? It's an election year!
President Lisa Icon.png It's too late for that. I'm sure both parties already have highly popular, uncontroversial candidates.

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
President Lisa Icon.png Holy crap! I'm throwing my hat in the ring!

Presidential Primaries Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
President Lisa Icon.png I need to decide who my running mate will be. Should I pick a safe choice from a swing state, or double down with someone who shares my exact thoughts and opinions.
Lisa Icon.png How about me?
President Lisa Surprised Icon.png Oh my gosh! You're me, back before I learned not to dress like Pebbles Flintstone!
Lisa Icon.png As you know, I've always wanted to be President. But I might be willing to start as Vice President. What do you say?
President Lisa Icon.png I'm not sure the country is ready for an all-female ticket, let alone one consisting of time clones, one of whom is eight years old.
President Lisa Happy Icon.png But sure... why not!

Presidential Primaries Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
President Lisa Icon.png If ever there were a year when a third-party candidate could get elected, this is it!
Lisa Icon.png Yeah! So what's our party called? The Green Party?
President Lisa Icon.png The Yellow Party.
Lisa Icon.png And what's our platform?
President Lisa Icon.png We're strongly opposed to the Venusian trade pact! The Venusians are just trying to take our jobs and beryllium!
Lisa Nagging Icon.png Uhm, that hasn't happened yet.
President Lisa Icon.png And it never will, if I get elected!

Presidential Primaries Pt. 6[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
President Lisa Icon.png This is the big night! The election returns are coming in!
Lisa Happy Icon.png We're leading in North Carolina, South Dakota, and West Virginia!
President Lisa Icon.png What about East Googlia?
Lisa Icon.png That's not a state yet.
President Lisa Annoyed Icon.png It isn't? Then why did we spend a hundred million dollars in TV ad buys there?

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
President Lisa Sad Icon.png Rats. We lost badly, and to a candidate less popular than liver.
Lisa Icon.png On the bright side, maybe we didn't change history after all. So I can still run again when I'm old enough to be you!
President Lisa Happy Icon.png The system works!
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