Poorly Working Title Pt. 1
Make Homer Submit Script to Itchy & Scratchy Make Springfielders Submit Poochie Scripts (x5) Collect Poochie Scripts (x200)
4h 4h 3h
Poorly Working Title Pt. 2
Make Youngsters Give Feedback (x5) Collect Poochie Scripts (x200)
Poorly Working Title Pt. 3
Make Homer Record New Poochie Voice-Over Make Roger Meyers Jr. Begrudgingly Give Homer Poochie Sunglasses Collect Poochie Scripts (x400)
4h 4h 3h
Poorly Working Title Pt. 4
Make Homer Laugh at All His Own Jokes Make Poochie Dunk a Basketball Make Youngsters Hate-Watch Poochie (x5) Collect Poochie Scripts (x300)
4h 4h 4h 3h
Poorly Working Title Pt. 5
Make Youngsters Watch Poochie Ironically (x5) Collect Poochie Scripts (x500)
Poorly Working Title Pt. 6
Make Homer Fret Over What People Are Laughing at Make Poochie Pretend to Be in a Car Chase Make Youngsters Ironically Watch Poochie (x5)
4h 8h 4h
Poorly Working Title Pt. 7
Make Homer Openly Weep into a Bowl of Popcorn Make Youngsters Watch Itchy & Scratchy Sincerely (x5)
Oh brother, they're having a "Bring Poochie Back To Life" script contest. Could they be any more desperate?
I agree. I never think about Poochie anymore. Not Poochie's face, not Poochie's irreverent in-your-face attitude, not Poochie nothin'.
What's this file on your computer labeled "POOCHIE FAN FICTION"?
It's, uh, an elaborate plan to kill your mother and collect the insurance money!
It's not a plan to kill me. You talk about Poochie in your sleep.
This could be your chance to bring YOUR version of Poochie to life.
Don't egg him on, Mom!
Yes, DO egg me on, because I will need several omelets to fuel me on as I write a Poochie script!
There's hundreds of these script contest entries!
I haven't seen stacks of paper this high since I made all that money licensing my name to that paper company.
Who's gonna read through these?
I assumed you were...
Um, excuse me? Have you picked a winner yet?
We haven't even looked at--
As a matter of fact, we just picked the winner... and it's you!
Your script was so good, we're making you head writer!
But the only thing I've ever written is a Grammy-winning album and a movie starring Mel Gibson!
Don't worry, kid, you'll do great. You can start by reading all these scripts to pick out the best parts.
*rips script* This is garbage! How can these amateur contest entrants call themselves professional writers?!
Character development! Story arcs! Drama! ...are all things that are too old-fashioned!
I need to tap into what KIDS like!
Also, it's pretty impressive that I was able to rip an entire script in half...
Talking cartoon dogs can't skateboard... it's just not believable.
Poochie's funny "ha-ha", not funny "Haw haw!"
Please don't make him rap again. Pleeeease don't make him rap again. And no buzzwords!
When I'M good boy, my daddy lets me stick my head out the car window.
Find the comedic premise, heighten it three times, and get out!
Okay, I've gone through all the scripts, listened to today's youth included all the latest slang...
...drank six beers, and written the most perfect Poochie script there could ever be!
*flips to back page* Looks to be about the right length. I'm satisfied.
All right, Frink, are we ready to bring back Poochie now?
Yes, the script appears to be roughly the correct amount of pages, which is all that ever mattered...
The only thing left is to record some sample voice over...
...which I will do myself, because people love hearing my voice for extended periods of time...
Not so fast! If Poochie's known for one thing, it's his signature sunglasses. Do you know where I could get a pair?
Wait a minute Homer, YOU should record Poochie's voice!
Yeah, I guess since I was his voice last time it only makes sense. Now are you gonna make with the sunglasses or not?!
You used your Weird Science machine, Frink, so where's Poochie?
Oh yes, I believe he's doing what cool guys do and waiting to make a dramatic entrance... any minute now.
Yo, yo, yolo, bruh! Poochie in da house, squad-fam! We gonna get it lit in here?!
Ahhhh! He's trying to relate to us!
Kids, put that stupid homework down and come watch this cartoon right now!
Dad, I'm happy that Itchy and Scratchy are back, but why do they have to jam Poochie down our throats again?
Seriously, when they killed him off the first time, they gave us the day off from school to celebrate.
Because Poochie has been retooled to be super modern...
...so you better watch or you're gonna get beaten up at school for not knowing what the dealio is.
A guy who just said "what's the dealio" is lecturing me on being cool.
Shhh! Poochie's about to make a slam dunk!
Did you see him going up and down on that ramp? Wasn't it great?!
He literally jumped a shark, Dad. My childhood is over.
It was good while it lasted...
I guess now all we'll care about are consumer reports, keeping our sneakers really clean, and which fruits are in season.
It's four o'clock, I don't know what to do with myself. Usually I'd be watching Itchy and Scratchy right now.
Stupid Poochie ruined everything, with his lame backwards hat, and his in-fashion-again leather jacket, and his jump-cut editing.
He's so dumb. Hey, what if we watched his show just to goof on it!
Yeah, we can scoff at all the parts where he does stuff that's so stupid it's actually enjoyable, but we'll feel smart because we know it's lame.
And we'll stay tuned for all the commercial breaks!
Yeah, in case those are stupid too!
Oh man, so dumb. I can't wait to bash it at school tomorrow.
I'm gonna break it down beat by beat and mock it as if it were literature!
Ah-ha! So you do like it after all!
We're watching it ironically.
We were laughing at the parts you're not supposed to laugh at.
But you were still laughing and enjoying yourselves, right?
Great work, Homer. The numbers are through the roof!
Today's show had the most viewers since that episode where I accidentally aided, abetted and then interviewed El Chapo.
Are we sure our viewers are laughing at the right stuff though?
They could be crying for all I care, as long as they don't change the channel! Now what ideas do ya got for the next episode?
Um, okay, what if Poochie stole a car, but it turned out to be an Uber, so he had to keep picking people up.
*laughs* That's funny.
Wait, are you ACTUALLY laughing, or are you laughing at the idea that I pitched it with the intention of making you laugh?
Enough with the philosophy lesson, just get Poochie in the car and make with the silly taxi rides!
Well? What'd you kids think?
It was actually pretty funny.
The parts that were supposed to make us laugh made us laugh.
Which makes it lame.
No one likes a lame thing that knows it's lame. That'd be like if Tim Allen started mocking himself.
Yeah, the smugness factor for us is gone. You screwed up, Dad -- you made the show sorta okay.
Have you seen the numbers, Homer? It's not looking good for our old friend Poochie.
Or for you -- you're fired.
Are you firing me "ironically"?
Also, you never signed your contract, so you're not getting paid. That's sorta ironic.
No. It's just stupid. Now get out.
Well, it was fun while it lasted.
Except all the tons of hard work I had to do and the gut-wrenching stress of wondering if people legitimately liked it.
What'll happen to you, Poochie? Will they ship you back to your home planet?
No, I'll just stick around here. This planet's actually pretty cool... NOT!
*wipes away tear* Never gets old.