Parks and Decapitation

Parks and Decapitation
Content Update	Itchy & Scratchy Land 2018 Event
Level Required	5
Release Date	June 21, 2018
Number of Quests	5

Parks and Decapitation is a side questline that was released on June 21, 2018, during Act 2 of the Itchy & Scratchy Land 2018 Event. It requires the premium character Park Engineer.

Quests

Quest	Requirements	Time	Reward	Triggered By
Parks and Decapitation Pt. 1	Make Park Engineer Run Human Trials Make Springfielders Be Guinea Pigs (x5)	8h 8h	100 10	Park Engineer
Parks and Decapitation Pt. 2	Make Park Engineer Fake a Ride Safety Report	4h	100 10	Park Engineer
Parks and Decapitation Pt. 3	Make Park Engineer "Fix" Malfunctioning Robot	4h	100 10	Park Engineer
Parks and Decapitation Pt. 4	Make Park Engineer Run Human Trials Make Springfielders Be Guinea Pigs (x5)	8h 8h	100 10	Park Engineer
Parks and Decapitation Pt. 5	Make Park Engineer Conveniently Escape a Conversation	8h	200 20	Park Engineer

Dialogue

Parks and Decapitation Pt. 1

Start

Character	Dialogue
	A lot of theme parks use fancy hundred-dollar computers to design their rides.
	We prefer to do it the old-fashioned way: with paper and pencil, hunches and guesswork.
	Take our new ride, The Decapitator. One week ago, it was just a sketch on the back of a very beer-soaked bar napkin.
	And now it's ready for human trials. Will it work? I think there's a fighting chance it will.

All Objectives Started

Character	Dialogue
	Ma'am, how would you like to be the FIRST to ride The Decapitator?
	Is it as dangerous as the name implies?
	*condescending chuckle*
	You didn't actually answer the question.
	Didn't I? *condescending chuckle*
	Well, your smugness DOES give me confidence...

Parks and Decapitation Pt. 2

Start

Character	Dialogue
	Well? On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate The Decapitator?
	Zero! If I hadn't ducked, the saw blades would have sliced my head clean off!
	Yes, but on a scale of one to ten, did they?
	Well, no. I give you a “ten” for that, I suppose.
	*condescending chuckle*

End

Character	Dialogue
	You see, ma'am, there was never anything to worry about.
	The “D” from the Decapitator sign fell into the seat next to me. I could have been killed!
	We can all be killed anytime. Maybe I have a tropical brain virus that is ravaging my neocortex as we speak. Who knows?

Parks and Decapitation Pt. 3

Start

Character	Dialogue
	You've got a lot of robots in this park. What's to stop them from killing their human masters?
	I've seen it before, you know.
	*patronizing guffaw* Impossible.
	One of them is chewing on your leg right now. And that other one is cheering him on.
	...
	Will you excuse me a moment?

End

Character	Dialogue
	“10 DO NOT KILL HUMANS”; “20 ESPECIALLY ME”; “30 GOTO 10”. There! Fixed!

Parks and Decapitation Pt. 4

Start

Character	Dialogue
	Mrs. Simpson, we've heard you, and we're making safety improvements to The Decapitator.
	That's wonderful news.
	First, we're changing the name to “Mr. Itchy's Lullaby Train”.
	Second, we're installing netting to catch any heads that may fall. And... that's it.
	I'm no engineer, but speaking as a lay person... are you insane?
	Only one way to find out!

End

Character	Dialogue
	The netting works! All decapitated heads are safe!

Parks and Decapitation Pt. 5

Start

Character	Dialogue
	If you don't mind my asking, how did you become a theme park ride designer?
	Oh, the usual way: as a young child, I yearned to find out what animals looked like on the inside.
	It began with insects and frogs, but I soon graduated to larger prey.
	Naturally, I was ashamed of my bedwetting, but who can say if that's why I began lighting fires?
	I'm going to find a policeman.
	Good idea, Marge. And I'll flee into the Canadian wilderness.

End

Character	Dialogue
	Chief Wiggum! I think the head engineer is a serial killer!
	Well, I'm sure he's gotten it out of his system. That's how these things work.
	The killing stuff isn't ideal, but a lot of these guys find peace in the end. So there's that.

Gallery

Park Engineer Fixing Malfunctioning Robot.

Park Engineer Conveniently Escaping a Conversation.

Park Engineer Conveniently Escaping a Conversation.

Park Engineer Conveniently Escaping a Conversation.