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Parks and Decapitation is a side questline that was released on June 21, 2018, during Act 2 of the Itchy & Scratchy Land 2018 Event. It requires the premium character Park Engineer.

Quests Edit

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
Parks and Decapitation Pt. 1 Make Park Engineer Run Human Trials
Make Springfielders Be Guinea Pigs (x5)
8h
8h
Cash100
XP10
Park Engineer
Parks and Decapitation Pt. 2 Make Park Engineer Fake a Ride Safety Report 4h Cash100
XP10
Park Engineer
Parks and Decapitation Pt. 3 Make Park Engineer "Fix" Malfunctioning Robot 4h Cash100
XP10
Park Engineer
Parks and Decapitation Pt. 4 Make Park Engineer Run Human Trials
Make Springfielders Be Guinea Pigs (x5)
8h
8h
Cash100
XP10
Park Engineer
Parks and Decapitation Pt. 5 Make Park Engineer Conveniently Escape a Conversation 8h Cash200
XP20
Park Engineer

Dialogue Edit

Parks and Decapitation Pt. 1 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Park Engineer Happy Icon A lot of theme parks use fancy hundred-dollar computers to design their rides.
Park Engineer Icon We prefer to do it the old-fashioned way: with paper and pencil, hunches and guesswork.
Park Engineer Icon Take our new ride, The Decapitator. One week ago, it was just a sketch on the back of a very beer-soaked bar napkin.
Park Engineer Icon And now it's ready for human trials. Will it work? I think there's a fighting chance it will.

All Objectives Started Edit

Character Dialogue
Park Engineer Icon Ma'am, how would you like to be the FIRST to ride The Decapitator?
Marge Nervous Icon Is it as dangerous as the name implies?
Park Engineer Amused Icon *condescending chuckle*
Marge Annoyed Icon You didn't actually answer the question.
Park Engineer Amused Icon Didn't I? *condescending chuckle*
Marge Nervous Icon Well, your smugness DOES give me confidence...

Parks and Decapitation Pt. 2 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Park Engineer Happy Icon Well? On a scale of one to ten, how would you rate The Decapitator?
Marge Angry Icon Zero! If I hadn't ducked, the saw blades would have sliced my head clean off!
Park Engineer Icon Yes, but on a scale of one to ten, did they?
Marge Serious Icon Well, no. I give you a “ten” for that, I suppose.
Park Engineer Amused Icon *condescending chuckle*

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Park Engineer Icon You see, ma'am, there was never anything to worry about.
Marge Angry Icon The “D” from the Decapitator sign fell into the seat next to me. I could have been killed!
Park Engineer Icon We can all be killed anytime. Maybe I have a tropical brain virus that is ravaging my neocortex as we speak. Who knows?

Parks and Decapitation Pt. 3 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Marge Serious Icon You've got a lot of robots in this park. What's to stop them from killing their human masters?
Marge Annoyed Icon I've seen it before, you know.
Park Engineer Amused Icon *patronizing guffaw* Impossible.
Marge Serious Icon One of them is chewing on your leg right now. And that other one is cheering him on.
Park Engineer Icon ...
Park Engineer Icon Will you excuse me a moment?

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Park Engineer Happy Icon “10 DO NOT KILL HUMANS”; “20 ESPECIALLY ME”; “30 GOTO 10”. There! Fixed!

Parks and Decapitation Pt. 4 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Park Engineer Icon Mrs. Simpson, we've heard you, and we're making safety improvements to The Decapitator.
Marge Happy Icon That's wonderful news.
Park Engineer Icon First, we're changing the name to “Mr. Itchy's Lullaby Train”.
Park Engineer Icon Second, we're installing netting to catch any heads that may fall. And... that's it.
Marge Angry Icon I'm no engineer, but speaking as a lay person... are you insane?
Park Engineer Happy Icon Only one way to find out!

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Park Engineer Happy Icon The netting works! All decapitated heads are safe!

Parks and Decapitation Pt. 5 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Marge Scared Icon If you don't mind my asking, how did you become a theme park ride designer?
Park Engineer Icon Oh, the usual way: as a young child, I yearned to find out what animals looked like on the inside.
Park Engineer Icon It began with insects and frogs, but I soon graduated to larger prey.
Park Engineer Icon Naturally, I was ashamed of my bedwetting, but who can say if that's why I began lighting fires?
Marge Nervous Icon I'm going to find a policeman.
Park Engineer Icon Good idea, Marge. And I'll flee into the Canadian wilderness.

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Marge Surprised Icon Chief Wiggum! I think the head engineer is a serial killer!
Wiggum Icon Well, I'm sure he's gotten it out of his system. That's how these things work.
Wiggum Proud Icon The killing stuff isn't ideal, but a lot of these guys find peace in the end. So there's that.

Gallery Edit

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