Paramours of Christmas Past Pt. 1
Make Marge Return to Her Hometown Collect Stockings (x100)
Paramours of Christmas Past Pt. 2
Make Marge Try to Ignore Homer Make Homer Try to Impress Marge Collect Stockings (x300)
4h 4h -
Paramours of Christmas Past Pt. 3
Build Flaming Christmas Tree (6x) Make Marge Formulate a New Plan Make Homer Stop, Drop, and Roll Collect Stockings (x300)
- 8h 8h -
Paramours of Christmas Past Pt. 4
Make Marge Hate Christmas Make Smithers Show Marge to her Room Collect Stockings (x300)
4h 4h -
Paramours of Christmas Past Pt. 5
Make the Ghost of Christmas Past Dwell On the Past Make Marge Consider Her Options Collect Stockings (x300)
4h 8h -
Paramours of Christmas Past Pt. 6
Make Marge Sit On Homer's Lap
Marge, my beautiful fiancée! Ready to jet off to the Bahamas for a snowless, un-Christmas-y holiday?
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You’re marrying Flanders in this story?!
The heroine ALWAYS starts out engaged to the wrong man. Respect the formula!
Oh, how I hate Christmas, ever since I hardened my heart and took a high-powered job of some kind in the city.
But I must return to my hometown to help my mother run the family Christmas tree farm for the next few weeks.
Won’t you be miserable, surrounded by all that snow and Christmas cheer?
Don’t worry. I’m sure I won’t rediscover the magic of Christmas. Or fall back in love with the man I was always meant to be with.
Uh, who said anything about another man?
Mom, I'm home!
*wakes up* Marge! What a surprise to see you here!
Have you been sleeping on my parents’ couch since I left seven years ago?
No! Sometimes I cry myself to sleep in ditches and storm drains. Anyway, I work at your family’s Christmas tree farm now.
Homer, I’m truly sorry I had to pursue my dream of being an executive in publishing, or advertising, or whatever it is.
But now you’ve returned to run the family business?
No. In order to run a Christmas tree farm, you have to believe in the power of Christmas. Otherwise the accounting is impossible.
True. You can’t manage the books without childlike innocence. That’s just business reality.
Mom, how could you hire my ex-fiancé to work at our family business?
Well, I wouldn’t have had to if YOU still held Christmas in your heart. But noooooo!
I discovered a better world. A world of business, and misplaced priorities, and boyfriends who don’t understand the real me!
What do you even do? You've never bothered to tell me!
Isn’t it enough to know that it stresses me out, and I think that makes me happy, but it’s actually killing me inside?!
Hi, Marge. Fancy seeing you here at the place where I work. Here, let me help you set up.
Homer, seeing you reminds me of when I was young and carefree and full of hope. And I don’t like that!
…is what I’m telling myself.
I’ll just move some Christmas trees around, so you can notice what all this physical labor has done for my muscles.
Hey, remember how much we used to love hanging Christmas lights?
I guess a scene of us having fun together despite my reservations could be useful, story-wise...
*sound of trees suddenly all catching on fire* Oh. Hmm. I’m a little out of practice...
I'll put the fire out! *runs into a flaming tree, catches fire, uses burning self to light a second tree on fire*
The family business is ruined. Marge, you’re free to return to your job in... is it fashion? Finance?
It’s a mix of those two, plus the music industry and something Internet-y.
But I’m not going to let the Christmas tree farm fail. Not when I’ve got so much experience working in a field that’s not exactly luxury retail, but similar.
Because I’m a driven, self-sacrificing, serious, no-fun kind of--
WE GET IT.
I need to research the holiday industry. I'll spend a weekend at a quaint country inn that's Christmas-themed year round!
Is that even a real thing?
In stories like this one, they are literally EVERYWHERE.
*rings front desk bell* Hello? Is anyone here? I have a reservation.
Welcome! Fresh gingerbread cookie? Nothing reignites your lost connection to Christmas like gingerbread!
I’m trying to maintain my Scrooge-y humbuggery for a few more quests, thanks.
Eventually, my heart will melt and I’ll give in to the season. But not yet!
That would be a TERRIFIC moment to run weeping into the arms of the true love you abandoned seven years ago...
That’s the plan! But in the meantime, bah humbug! *chuckles*
All this Christmas magic has me rethinking my life. I wish my cold, practical fiancé was here to refreeze my fast-melting heart.
My beloved Flanders! It's a Christmas miracle! *embraces him dramatically*
*pushes her away * “Christmas miracle”? Try to be practical and dour, won’t you?
I’m trying, Flanders my dear. Nothing scares me more than the prospect of rediscovering my true self and daring to love Christmas.
I swear to you, I will NOT let that happen!
Oh, Flanders! Thank God you’re here with me, instead of my true love!
Ooh, look! There are Christmas lights wound around the bedposts! Isn’t that cheery?
No! Christmas is a silly, frivolous holiday. And if you don’t know that, then maybe we shouldn’t be together!
Now I will wildly overreact to this -- in a way no actual person ever would -- and storm out! *storms out*
Marge! It is I, the Ghost of Christmas Past! You cannot marry that man!
Hey! What did I say about “A Christmas Carol” knockoffs! I won’t have it!
I couldn’t help myself! Just one Christmas ghost. Promise.
I've been sent to remind you of the good times you had with Homer.
Okay, I like the cut of this guy’s jib. Objection withdrawn.
So, Mr. Ghost. I’m still waiting to hear why Homer is the man I should give my love to.
Yeah, um. Let me think here...
Just one good reason would do it...
Yeah, this is harder than I thought it’d be...
Marge, thank goodness I found you!
Homer? How did you find me here?
Let’s say I followed a star in the sky that led me to you. Let’s NOT say I hacked your email account.
It's a Christmas miracle! We are MEANT to be together! *kisses Homer*
All right Margie, I've returned from my walk ready to hear your apology.
Margie! Why are you kissing that man?!
I've decided to give my heart to someone who places a weird amount of importance on Christmas.
Also, he’s been obsessed with me for years, which I gotta say feels pretty great.
Come on, Marge, let's go make up for all those Christmases we missed together.