"Now that we've done so much towards building community spirit, festive hats don't seem to cut it."
"I have a joyful, jolly, harmless, although deadly, idea."
"Spicy Thai food that went bad?"
"No, Dad, Mistletoe. In Norse mythology, Mistletoe is Baldur's Achilles heel. It's the only thing that Frigg, his mother, didn't protect him from, and it ends up killing him."
"It's said that her tears became the berries of the plant, and that the mistletoe would never again be used as a weapon and that she would place a kiss on anyone who passed underneath."
"That is so romantic. Any kisses left for this handsome fellow, my beloved Frigg?"
"I never quote my brother but in this case... "Eat my shorts," Milhouse."
Once In Royal Quimby's City Pt. 1[]
Character
Dialogue
"That is one heck of a hulked-out snowman."
"...makes me glad I got the whole thing started then immediately abandoned it."
"So what do we want to work on next?"
"How ‘bout an exotic petting zoo? People love poking animals in a place where they can't poke back."
"The price of reindeer meat drops around the holidays so I was thinking of a food truck. Krusty Burgers could cash in on some cheap cuts of Comet and Cupid."
"Which one do we do first?"
"Of course I object to anything harming reindeer. I already have a call in to OSHA regarding Santa working the poor things all Christmas day and night."
"We'd better do the Exotic Petting Zoo thing first."
Once In Royal Quimby's City Pt. 2[]
Character
Dialogue
"Er, uh, Moe, you're going to need an exotic importation license."
"I never needed one before when I filled my joint with vermin."
"This is an extra fee for the, er, Exotic Waste Disposal levy."
"You've got city fees coming and going!"
"Mostly for going."
Once In Royal Quimby's City Pt. 3[]
Character
Dialogue
"Krusty the Clown, your permits have arrived."
"So that's a food service permit, a cabaret permit, oversized-vehicle parking permit, hot equipment registry permit…"
"…cold equipment registry permit, a processing fee permit, municipal and non-municipal operating permits, oxygen consumption permit…"
"Are you sure I don't need a permit to carry all these permits?"
"That's covered by your administration of city administration permit."
Once In Royal Quimby's City Pt. 4[]
Character
Dialogue
"This whole construction plan is a circus."
"And I'm not even facetiously referring to the three-ring gathering of dubious animals."
"As Angry Dad famously said in Issue #6:"
""Why you... #%@*&%!!@#"
"@#$$%$#@#$$#%$#@#$"
"$#%$##%&&&@&!!""
Once In Royal Quimby's City Pt. 5[]
Character
Dialogue
"Dang, all this building sure is thirsty work."
"What we needs is a sip of some downhome, backwoods git-up-n-go juice!"
"Does alcohol really need to be a part of the holidays?"
"What would Christmas morn be without firin' off a double-barrel shotgun and guzzlin' down double-barrel moonshine?"