Non-Alcoholic Whine

Non-Alcoholic Whine
Content Update	A Simpsons Christmas Special 2018 Event
Level Required	5
Release Date	December 12, 2018
Number of Quests	5

Non-Alcoholic Whine is a premium side questline that was released on December 12, 2018, for the A Simpsons Christmas Special 2018 Event. It requires the premium character Young Barney.

Quests

Quest	Requirements	Time	Reward	Triggered By
Non-Alcoholic Whine Pt. 1	Make Young Barney Prepare Ice Fishing Make Young Homer Freeze His Butt Off*	4h 4h	100 10	Young Barney
Non-Alcoholic Whine Pt. 2	Make Young Barney Excel at Fishing Make Young Homer Fish for an Escape*	12h 4h	100 10	Young Barney
Non-Alcoholic Whine Pt. 3	Make Young Barney Admire Young Homer Make Young Homer Ramble Nonsensically About Women*	1h 8h	100 10	Young Barney
Non-Alcoholic Whine Pt. 4	Make Young Barney Try to Fit In	4h	100 10	Young Barney
Non-Alcoholic Whine Pt. 5	Make Young Barney Cuddle for Warmth Make Young Homer Be Cuddled for Warmth*	12h 12h	200 20	Young Barney

* Applies only if the player has got Teenage Homer.

Dialogue

Non-Alcoholic Whine Pt. 1

Start

Character	Dialogue
	Welcome to my uncle's chalet, Homer! Isn't it great?
	The word “chalet” implies a hot tub and girls who ski in bikini tops for some wonderful reason I can’t fathom. THIS is an ice fishing shack.
	Well, sure, but if you like ice fishing--
	Gonna stop you right there. I don’t. I don’t even like REGULAR fishing.
	Listen, my philosophy is: “whatever makes you happy is great. Except fishing, which is dumb and you’re dumb for liking it, ya dummy.”
	Just pass me a beer.
	We don’t have any. Being drunk would impair our fishing skills, and we can’t have that!
	I’m going to die out here.

End

Character	Dialogue
	We’re all set to fish! Hey, you okay, Homer? You’re turning kind of blue.
	J-j-just t-t-trying not to d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d... freeze to death.
	You'll feel better once you go completely numb.
	Know what? You can go f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f... buzz off.

Non-Alcoholic Whine Pt. 2

Start

Character	Dialogue
	You just need to discover the peace of fishing. Now grab one of these worms and impale its still-living form on your razor-sharp hook.
	I’m not going to kill some poor worm over fishing.
	It’s already as good as dead. Nothing can survive in this cold.
	WHICH IS WHY I WANT BEER! GIVE BEER!
File:Young Barney Annoyed Icon.png	What do we need beer for when we've got friendship?
	That’s a false premise. Your actual options are A) beer AND friendship both; or B) no beer and pure animal hatred.

End

Character	Dialogue
	Having fun yet, Homer?
	*cracks open a beer* Sure am, Barn!
	Hey! Where'd you find that?!
	Dunno, but I have a theory. I think the universe just sort of wants me to be a drunk.

Non-Alcoholic Whine Pt. 3

Start

Character	Dialogue
	I was really hoping to get away from all the peer pressure around drinking for a few days.
	Hey, don’t be sore, pal. You don’t have to drink. Unless you want to be cool.
File:Young Barney Annoyed Icon.png	Why would I turn myself into a pudgy, belching, idiot? I've got enough trouble getting girls as it is.
	If it’s girls you want, you came to the right man. Let me teach you the basics of scoring with super-hot babes.

All Objectives Started

Character	Dialogue
	The most important thing to remember is that women and men are exactly the same.
	*pulls out tiny pad of paper and pencil* Uh huh. Uh huh. Go on.
	So when you talk to a girl, remember that she’s interested in sports, babes, and your personal ranking of the various guitar gods.
	And if she disagrees with you, tell her she couldn’t be more wrong, and that she should feel terrible about that.
	All these years I’ve been trying to figure out what girls like. When it was right in front of my stupid face.
	But the most important thing is to let them know, right up front, that you’re a chick magnet and women find you irresistible.
	*writes in tiny pad of paper* Be a chick magnet.

End

No dialogue.

Non-Alcoholic Whine Pt. 4

Start

Character	Dialogue
	I’ve clearly got a lot of work to do on myself before girls will like me.
	Well, that’s certainly true. But you’ll feel better about it after a beer.
	Where did THAT beer come from?
	No idea. I just reach down my hand, like this, and-- hey! There’s another one! Drink up, pal!
	My Uncle says you should never bow to peer pressure.
	A wise man. Now shut up and drink, or else.

End

Character	Dialogue
	Ew, beer is gross.
	*hic* Keep at it pal. You’ll come around. *hic* I never want to drink anything else ever again. I hope my blood turns into beer.
	That way, if I get in a car accident, it’s like: “Quick, give this man a beer transfusion!” Boom! I’m drunker than ever.
	Homer, I think you might have a problem.

Non-Alcoholic Whine Pt. 5

Start

Character	Dialogue
	Come on Homer, let's get you home. I think all this beer is damaging your brain.
	*hic* Not the beer. Beer good. Cold bad. Homer still have toes?
	Your toes? Yeah, they're right there in your shoes.
	*hic* What about fingers?
	Actually, they’re a little blue. I think you’re getting hypothermia.
	*belch* No chance. Homer nice and toasty warm now.
	What I'm about to say to you goes with us to our graves - for your own safety, take off your clothes and hold me.

End

Character	Dialogue
	Feeling any better, Homer?
	Oh, god. How did it come to this? I swear, I am never drinking again. EVER.
	...
	*cracks a beer*
	Eh, the universe wants what it wants.