No Laughing Matter was a limited-time questline released on February 5, 2020, as Dr. Hibbert's part of the main questline to the Black History 2020 Event. It was preceded by the quest introduction In Your Own Words.
Collect Stethoscopes (x475) Make Dr. Hibbert Mentor Chester Dupree
- 4h
200 20
Dialogue[]
No Laughing Matter Pt. 1[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
Dr. Hibbert, I’m doing a Black History report on the black person I look up to most.
Maya Angelou, Toni Morrison, and Octavia Butler have all passed away, so can I interview you?
Absolutely. It’s an honor to be fourth on such a short list.
You weren’t fourth, and it was a very long list.
Could you tell me about how you became a doctor?
Sure! It almost didn’t happen. I was dangerously close to flunking out of medical school.
My grades were perfect, but I kept laughing at inappropriate times, like the skinny fellow in that Joker movie. I forget the name of the character he played.
All Objectives Started[]
Character
Dialogue
The year was 1975. Or 1995. Depending on what season this is, and how old I am as a character.
Huh?
I had a proud, round, well-moisturized Afro. Which was either current or retro at the time.
And so did this beautiful woman who walked into my life.
Pam Grier?
I wish! *chuckles*
End[]
Character
Dialogue
Are you Julius Hibbert?
Fortunately for me, I am. And who might you be, gorgeous?
An angel that fell from heaven, dislocated her shoulder, and now needs me to reset it?
Close. I’m here to hand you these documents.
Documents?
Julius Hibbert, consider yourself a mildly successful urban dance battle movie, because You Got Served!
Served? Wait, who are you? And what year is this exactly?! The movie You Got Served won’t come out until 2004!
“
Façade unlocked!
”
— System Message.
No Laughing Matter Pt. 2[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
So I went to drown my sorrows at Moe’s Tavern, which was a hit with all the med students back then.
Before that deadly radon leak that took so many of their promising young lives… *chuckles*
You got served? By, like, a waitress in a sit down restaurant? *sigh* Maybe that’ll be me one day.
No, you borderline hobo. I’m getting sued! *sigh* I’m not even licensed to practice medicine yet. This could ruin me!
You want my dangerously unqualified opinion?
Not when you preface it like that.
You gotta win this woman’s heart. If you charm her, then maybe she can convince her client not to sue you.
Hmm. That’s just crazy…
...enough to work?
No, I had completed my sentence. But perhaps some unseen dialogue will convince me.
End[]
Character
Dialogue
Not-Yet-a-Dr. Hibbert! What are you doing here?
Well, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind.
So a friend convinced me to follow my heart, come down here, and sing Jodeci songs to you until you agree to go out with me and drop that lawsuit.
“Eeevery time I close my eeeyes….”
*calls security*
No Laughing Matter Pt. 3[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
Moe, that was a disaster!
Hm. Maybe this skirt is one of them classy dames. The kind what don’t like you callin’ em a skirt or a dame.
I got it! How’s about you get her some flowers. All the ladies I watch through binoculars LOVE flowers.
…
It’s not what you think. The ladies are on my neighbor's television. And lucky for me, he died with the TV on. Heh heh heh.
All Objectives Started[]
Character
Dialogue
An Adult Skateboard shop? Does that mean you sell skateboards for adults who can’t let go of the past, or erotically-themed skateboards for athletic perverts?
Both!
Understood. You wouldn’t happen to sell flowers here too, would you?
We do for the purposes of this quest objective!
End[]
Character
Dialogue
Bernice, I’m sorry for how I acted before. I didn’t realize your law offices frowned upon lewd karaoke.
I got you these flowers as a token of my olive branch.
Are those roses?
Yes. Their delicate beauty reminds me of you.
*throat closes up*
An allergic reaction! Perhaps you’re a bit more delicate than they are. *chuckles*
“
Animated Job Unlocked!
”
— System Message.
No Laughing Matter Pt. 4[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
Well, look who’s still alive! I’m glad you found your EpiPen.
I was afraid I’d have to perform an emergency tracheotomy, and we haven’t gotten to that chapter in med school yet.
Even though you almost killed me, I’m glad you were there to keep me from dying.
The pleasure was all mine. I brought you some rice pudding from the hospital cafeteria.
My favorite! How did you know?
It said so on your MedicAlert bracelet.
Ooh. I like a man who pays attention to detail.
I know. It also said that on your MedicAlert bracelet too. That thing is quite a read.
End[]
Character
Dialogue
I apologize for my spirited performance.
When I researched the works of Poet Laureate Dolemite, I did not realize his stanzas would be peppered with so many expletives.
Life is never boring around you, is it Julius?
Why don’t you stick around and find out?
*kiss*
No Laughing Matter Pt. 5[]
Start[]
Character
Dialogue
Darling, these past few months with you have been a dream.
I finished medical school, got a residency, and your client agreed to drop the lawsuit against me.
Well, he didn’t agree to it so much as die. You can’t charge legal fees to a dead man. Believe me, my law firm has tried!
*gasp* He didn’t die from medical negligence, did he?
Heavens, no. He was mauled by a panda at the Springfield Zoo.
Oh thank God! *chuckles*
Say, since we’ve gotten so serious, I think it’s time you met my family. Particularly my slacker brother, Chester.
Do you think you could take him under your wing and mentor him? Help him become a staid, somber, serious man like you.
100
10
