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No Laughing Matter was a limited-time questline released on February 5, 2020, as Dr. Hibbert's part of the main questline to the Black History 2020 Event. It was preceded by the quest introduction In Your Own Words.

Quests Edit

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
No Laughing Matter Pt. 1 Collect Stethoscopes (x400)
Make Dr. Hibbert Set the Scene for Lisa
-
4h
Cash100
XP10
Auto
No Laughing Matter Pt. 2 Collect Stethoscopes (x350)
Make Dr. Hibbert Consider Moe’s Bad Advice
-
4h
Cash100
XP10
Auto
No Laughing Matter Pt. 3 Collect Stethoscopes (x300)
Make Dr. Hibbert Buy Flowers at a Random Store
-
4h
Cash100
XP10
Auto
No Laughing Matter Pt. 4 Collect Stethoscopes (x400)
Make Dr. Hibbert Woo Bernice With Poetry
-
4h
Cash100
XP10
Auto
No Laughing Matter Pt. 5 Collect Stethoscopes (x475)
Make Dr. Hibbert Mentor Chester Dupree
-
4h
Cash200
XP20

Dialogue Edit

No Laughing Matter Pt. 1 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon Dr. Hibbert, I’m doing a Black History report on the black person I look up to most.
Lisa Icon Maya Angelou, Toni Morrison, and Octavia Butler have all passed away, so can I interview you?
Dr. Hibbert Happy Icon Absolutely. It’s an honor to be fourth on such a short list.
Lisa Embarrassed Icon You weren’t fourth, and it was a very long list.
Lisa Icon Could you tell me about how you became a doctor?
Dr. Hibbert Happy Icon Sure! It almost didn’t happen. I was dangerously close to flunking out of medical school.
Dr. Hibbert Icon My grades were perfect, but I kept laughing at inappropriate times, like the skinny fellow in that Joker movie. I forget the name of the character he played.

All Objectives Started Edit

Character Dialogue
Dr. Hibbert Icon The year was 1975. Or 1995. Depending on what season this is, and how old I am as a character.
Lisa Confused Icon Huh?
Dr. Hibbert Happy Icon I had a proud, round, well-moisturized Afro. Which was either current or retro at the time.
Dr. Hibbert Icon And so did this beautiful woman who walked into my life.
Lisa Icon Pam Grier?
Dr. Hibbert Icon I wish! *chuckles*

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Bernice Hibbert Icon Are you Julius Hibbert?
Dr. Hibbert Happy Icon Fortunately for me, I am. And who might you be, gorgeous?
Dr. Hibbert Icon An angel that fell from heaven, dislocated her shoulder, and now needs me to reset it?
Bernice Hibbert Icon Close. I’m here to hand you these documents.
Dr. Hibbert Sad Icon Documents?
Bernice Hibbert Icon Julius Hibbert, consider yourself a mildly successful urban dance battle movie, because You Got Served!
Dr. Hibbert Icon Served? Wait, who are you? And what year is this exactly?! The movie You Got Served won’t come out until 2004!
Façade unlocked!
 
— System Message.


No Laughing Matter Pt. 2 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Dr. Hibbert Icon So I went to drown my sorrows at Moe’s Tavern, which was a hit with all the med students back then.
Dr. Hibbert Icon Before that deadly radon leak that took so many of their promising young lives… *chuckles*
Moe Sad Icon You got served? By, like, a waitress in a sit down restaurant? *sigh* Maybe that’ll be me one day.
Dr. Hibbert Annoyed Icon No, you borderline hobo. I’m getting sued! *sigh* I’m not even licensed to practice medicine yet. This could ruin me!
Moe Sneaky Icon You want my dangerously unqualified opinion?
Dr. Hibbert Annoyed Icon Not when you preface it like that.
Moe Hopeful Icon You gotta win this woman’s heart. If you charm her, then maybe she can convince her client not to sue you.
Dr. Hibbert Icon Hmm. That’s just crazy…
Moe Pleased Icon ...enough to work?
Dr. Hibbert Annoyed Icon No, I had completed my sentence. But perhaps some unseen dialogue will convince me.

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Bernice Hibbert Angry Icon Not-Yet-a-Dr. Hibbert! What are you doing here?
Dr. Hibbert Icon Well, I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind.
Dr. Hibbert Happy Icon So a friend convinced me to follow my heart, come down here, and sing Jodeci songs to you until you agree to go out with me and drop that lawsuit.
Dr. Hibbert Singing Icon “Eeevery time I close my eeeyes….”
Bernice Hibbert Phone Icon *calls security*

No Laughing Matter Pt. 3 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Dr. Hibbert Sad Icon Moe, that was a disaster!
Moe Sneaky Icon Hm. Maybe this skirt is one of them classy dames. The kind what don’t like you callin’ em a skirt or a dame.
Moe Pleased Icon I got it! How’s about you get her some flowers. All the ladies I watch through binoculars LOVE flowers.
Dr. Hibbert Sad Icon
Moe Icon It’s not what you think. The ladies are on my neighbor's television. And lucky for me, he died with the TV on. Heh heh heh.

All Objectives Started Edit

Character Dialogue
Dr. Hibbert Sad Icon An Adult Skateboard shop? Does that mean you sell skateboards for adults who can’t let go of the past, or erotically-themed skateboards for athletic perverts?
Squeaky Voice Attendant Icon Both!
Dr. Hibbert Icon Understood. You wouldn’t happen to sell flowers here too, would you?
Squeaky Voice Attendant Happy Icon We do for the purposes of this quest objective!

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Dr. Hibbert Sad Icon Bernice, I’m sorry for how I acted before. I didn’t realize your law offices frowned upon lewd karaoke.
Dr. Hibbert Happy Icon I got you these flowers as a token of my olive branch.
Bernice Hibbert Icon Are those roses?
Dr. Hibbert Icon Yes. Their delicate beauty reminds me of you.
Bernice Hibbert Allergic Icon *throat closes up*
Dr. Hibbert Icon An allergic reaction! Perhaps you’re a bit more delicate than they are. *chuckles*
Animated Job Unlocked!
 
— System Message.


No Laughing Matter Pt. 4 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Dr. Hibbert Happy Icon Well, look who’s still alive! I’m glad you found your EpiPen.
Dr. Hibbert Icon I was afraid I’d have to perform an emergency tracheotomy, and we haven’t gotten to that chapter in med school yet.
Bernice Hibbert Happy Icon Even though you almost killed me, I’m glad you were there to keep me from dying.
Dr. Hibbert Icon The pleasure was all mine. I brought you some rice pudding from the hospital cafeteria.
Bernice Hibbert Happy Icon My favorite! How did you know?
Dr. Hibbert Icon It said so on your MedicAlert bracelet.
Bernice Hibbert Icon Ooh. I like a man who pays attention to detail.
Dr. Hibbert Happy Icon I know. It also said that on your MedicAlert bracelet too. That thing is quite a read.

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Dr. Hibbert Icon I apologize for my spirited performance.
Dr. Hibbert Icon When I researched the works of Poet Laureate Dolemite, I did not realize his stanzas would be peppered with so many expletives.
Bernice Hibbert Icon Life is never boring around you, is it Julius?
Dr. Hibbert Happy Icon Why don’t you stick around and find out?
Dr. Hibbert Kissbernice Icon *kiss*

No Laughing Matter Pt. 5 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Dr. Hibbert Icon Darling, these past few months with you have been a dream.
Dr. Hibbert Happy Icon I finished medical school, got a residency, and your client agreed to drop the lawsuit against me.
Bernice Hibbert Icon Well, he didn’t agree to it so much as die. You can’t charge legal fees to a dead man. Believe me, my law firm has tried!
Dr. Hibbert Sad Icon *gasp* He didn’t die from medical negligence, did he?
Bernice Hibbert Icon Heavens, no. He was mauled by a panda at the Springfield Zoo.
Dr. Hibbert Happy Icon Oh thank God! *chuckles*
Bernice Hibbert Icon Say, since we’ve gotten so serious, I think it’s time you met my family. Particularly my slacker brother, Chester.
Bernice Hibbert Icon Do you think you could take him under your wing and mentor him? Help him become a staid, somber, serious man like you.
Dr. Hibbert Icon *chuckles for far too long* I don’t see why not.

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Dr. Hibbert Happy Icon And that’s the story of how I met your mother.
Lisa Nagging Icon I’m not your child.
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