No Bucks Given was a limited-time quest released on March 18, 2020, as the short quest intro to the No Bucks Given 2020 Event. It was succeeded by the quest No Bucks Given Outro.

Quests Edit

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
No Bucks Given Pt. 1 Collect Mini-Baseball Helmets (x200)
Make Homer Object Again to Buck and Tabitha’s Divorce
Make Judge Snyder Postpone Buck and Tabitha’s Divorce
No Bucks Given Pt. 2 Collect Mini-Baseball Helmets (x200)
Make Homer Attempt Obstacle Course
Make Marge Attempt Obstacle Course
Make Tabitha Vixx Attempt Obstacle Course*
No Bucks Given Pt. 3 Collect Mini-Baseball Helmets (x200)
Make Bart Appeal to Buck and Tabitha for Help
Make Lisa Appeal to Buck and Tabitha for Help
No Bucks Given Pt. 4 Collect Mini-Baseball Helmets (x200)
Make Homer Attempt Impressive Baseball Feats
Make Marge Attempt Suggestive Dance Moves
Make Tabitha Vixx Coach Marge*
No Bucks Given Pt. 5 Collect Mini-Baseball Helmets (x200)
Make Homer Renew His Vows
Make Marge Renew Her Vows

* Will only appear if the character is owned by the player.

Dialogue Edit

No Bucks Given Pt. 1 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon And that’s why my client wants to split everything down the middle, equally.
Judge Snyder Icon Sounds good to me. Well, if anyone objects to this divorce let them speak now or forever hold their peace.
Homer Furious Icon I, Homer Simpson, OBJECT!
Tabitha Vixx Annoyed Icon Here to offer more sage marital advice, Homer?
Homer Annoyed Icon I also OBJECT to your sarcastic tone! You two belong together. True love and the Isotopes' season depend on it!
Buck Mitchell Sad Icon Homer, getting divorced doesn’t stop me from playing baseball.
Homer Mouthfull Icon *chewing noise*
Buck Mitchell Annoyed Icon Are you eating a hot dog?
Judge Snyder Icon Ooh, I’ll take one. No relish.

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Judge Snyder Icon I’m putting an immediate thirty day hold on your divorce! You are hereby... still married!
Buck Mitchell Surprised Icon All 'cause some mustard-covered jerk said “I object”?
Judge Snyder Icon Springfield law is clear: “If a shout causes doubt, you must hear them out”.
Tabitha Vixx Annoyed Icon This is crazy! Mr. Lawyer Guy, aren’t you going to do anything?!
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon Judge’s orders. We’ll just have to reconvene next month.
Tabitha Vixx Surprised Icon But how can I re-learn all my song lyrics before Homerpalooza if Buck is filling my head with boring baseball words?
Buck Mitchell Annoyed Icon As if your songs are so complex?
Tabitha Vixx Annoyed Icon I wrote “Trouble-istic” and it went platinum faster than you can swing a bat!
Homer Thoughtful Icon Hmm, can I "un-object" to this divorce?
Buck Mitchell Tabitha Angry Icon Shut up, Homer!

Unlocks Isotope Stadium.

No Bucks Given Pt. 2 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Buck Mitchell Sad Icon Look, you guys helped us rediscover our love, but since then we’ve been more miserable than your average Mets fan.
Tabitha Vixx Sad Icon Buck and I love each other, it’s true. But maybe love isn’t everything.
Marge Annoyed Icon Take that back! I know Homer and I weren’t the best unlicensed marriage counselors in the world--
Buck Mitchell Annoyed Icon All Homer did was put on glasses, nod, and pretend to write things down in that notebook.
Homer Icon I was playing tic-tac-toe against myself.
Marge Nervous Icon And sure, it was wrong that Homer legally objected to your divorce.
Marge Nervous Icon But now the court is giving you one more marital at-bat. Who knows, maybe you’ll hit a home run this time?
Tabitha Vixx Annoyed Icon Seems unlikely.
Homer Proud Icon Wait! I know the perfect place for you to overcome all the obstacles of marriage. The Springfield Ninja Conqueror Course!

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Brockman Icon Welcome to Springfield Ninja Conqueror: #ConqueringLoveEdition.
Brockman Icon Here’s our first Ninja, Homer Simpson. All he has to do is leap from each floating heart and cross to the other side...
Brockman Sad Icon Oh no! Homer’s weight has submerged the step, which is now spring-loaded! He’s just launched himself over the course and straight into a parked car!
Marge Surprised Icon My station wagon!
Brockman Icon Next up, popstar sensation Tabitha Vixx on the Salmon Ladder.
Buck Mitchell Icon Tabitha, you’re supposed to climb with the pole, not dance on the pole!
Brockman Happy Icon And the judges give it a perfect ten. Tabitha Vixx is the Ninja Conqueror... and five hundred thousand dollar GRAND PRIZE winner!
Buck Mitchell Annoyed Icon Half of that is mine!

Unlocks Marriage Counseling.

No Bucks Given Pt. 3 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Judge Snyder Icon Since you both agreed to split that extra five hundred thousand dollars in prize money, you’re hereby officially divorced!
Buck Mitchell Happy Icon Because of you, Homer, we’re happily divorced and even richer than we were before!
Tabitha Vixx Happy Icon I invested my grand prize money in concert teleprompter technology. Now that I know my own lyrics, my tour’s sold out worldwide!
Homer Happy Icon So everybody’s happy. Tic, tac, toe -- I win!
Marge Angry Icon I’m not happy! You spend so much time trying to fix other people's marriages that you’ve neglected your own.
Homer Sad Icon But we counseled them together -- we were a team!
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon My client will only accept further communication in writing.
Homer Confused Icon Your client?
Marge Angry Icon If Buck and Tabitha are happier divorced, maybe we would be too. I’m moving out!
Homer Angry Icon Not if I move out first!
Marge Angry Icon Fine, you move out.
Homer Doh Icon D'oh!

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Bart Confused Icon Dad? I thought Mom kicked you out?!
Homer Annoyed Icon She did, but I’m taking the fridge. Most of the stuff in there is mine anyway.
Buck Mitchell Icon Hey, Homer. Need a hand with that fridge?
Homer Annoyed Icon Buzz off, you steroid hall-of-fame asterisk!
Buck Mitchell Surprised Icon Whoa, what’s with your dad?
Bart Annoyed Icon When he tried to save your marriage, it destroyed his. He probably blames you or something.
Buck Mitchell Sad Icon That’s awful! I’m sure if I talk to him, I can get him to win your mom back.
Tabitha Vixx Sad Icon And I’ll talk to Marge. Just because Buck and I are happily divorced doesn’t mean it’s something everyone should do.
Kirk Sad Icon Luann and I are getting divorced, so I wanted to see if Homer’d go splitsies with me on a bachelor pad.

Unlocks Couch World.

No Bucks Given Pt. 4 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Buck Mitchell Happy Icon Okay Homer, to win Marge back I’m gonna teach you the most important skill in baseball: reading pitches.
Buck Mitchell Icon Now, you’re the batter. If you know what the next pitch is going to be, then you’ll know where to swing.
Homer Thoughtful Icon Isn't that how the Astros and Red Sox cheated to win the World Series?
Buck Mitchell Icon Yes, but I’m teaching you how to read pitches the old-fashioned way: with your eyes.
Homer Sad Icon I just don’t get how this makes Marge like me again.
Buck Mitchell Icon Homer, if you’re better at reading and understanding what Marge wants, then maybe you’ll figure out how you can save your marriage.
Homer Ooh Icon Oh, I get it! It’s like a metaphor!

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Marge Angry Icon Homer, our marriage is on the brink and you’re playing a game of catch?!
Homer Cautious Icon Buck said learning to read pitches will make me a better listener or something? Is that what you said--?
Tabitha Vixx Annoyed Icon Really, Buck? Baseball is your answer to everything. You should diversify!
Buck Mitchell Annoyed Icon Well, sexy dancing is your answer to everything! Maybe you should practice singing instead of just Auto-Tuning everything!
Tabitha Vixx Annoyed Icon I’m so relieved I’m not married to you anymore!
Buck Mitchell Annoyed Icon Me too! I’d rather play for the Marlins than see your sexy dancing ever again!
Homer Confused Icon Are you guys flirting or something?

Unlocks Mitchell Mansion.

Objective 3 done Edit

Character Dialogue
Tabitha Vixx Happy Icon Marge, after I teach you this dance, Homer will be eating from the palm of your hand.
Marge Annoyed Icon He usually does if I’m holding food.
Tabitha Vixx Happy Icon One, two, three... twerk!
Marge Surprised Icon Twerk?!

No Bucks Given Pt. 5 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Tabitha Vixx Sad Icon I still have feelings for you Buck. Maybe we rushed our divorce?
Buck Mitchell Happy Icon I agree. Let’s get remarried!
Tabitha Vixx Happy Icon This is like déjà vu all over again… I'm in! *making out noises*
Homer Dreamy Icon Aw, divorces not lasting are so romantic.
Marge Icon You know, Homie, maybe we should also get back together.
Homer Icon Maybe if we renewed our vows, I could express my love for you better.
Marge Happy Icon Oh, Homie, that’s all I ever wanted.

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Homer Sad Icon I’m sorry. I got so caught up in Tabitha and Buck’s divorce that I neglected our own marriage.
Marge Happy Icon Oh Homie, renewing our vows was such a wonderful idea!
Homer Cautious Icon So now can I move back into the house?
Marge Dreamy Icon Of course, Homie.
Homer Surprised Icon Hey Kirk! I’m canceling my deposit on the bachelor pad!
Kirk Sad Icon Man, I just bought us matching cigar jackets.

Unlocks Buck Mitchell.

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