Money vs. Milhouse

Money vs. Milhouse is the first part of the Luann Van Houten quests. It requires the Cracker Factory to start.

Quests[]

Quest	Requirements	Time
Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 1	Make Luann Make Mommy Meals for Milhouse Make Luann Check on the Cracker Factory	60m 12h
Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 2	Make Luann Go to Moe's Make Milhouse Go to his Room	4h
Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 3	Make Luann Relax in a Jacuzzi Suit Make Luann Ride in the MegaGlobe	12h 24h
Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 4	Make Luann Get an Overpriced Consultant	12h
Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 5	Make Luann Run the Cracker Factory Make Springfield’s Working Class Work at the Cracker Factory (x3)	8h 10h

Character	Dialogue
	"Oh, Milhouse, my sweet sweet treasure! Mommy's come home."
	"You're back! Finally someone who knows how to open the dryer. My pants are so damp."
	"Not so fast, baby bear. Mommy has to head to the factory and check on our family's bread and butter - crackers!"
	"Can you make yourself dinner?"
	"Dad taught me how to cook eggs on the radiator of the car."
	Sigh "Your father spends one Labor Day Weekend in a homeless shelter and suddenly he's full of hobo tricks."
	"Hold on an I'll cook you something nutritious to eat."

Character	Dialogue
	"Milhouse, sit down, I’ve got some big news to tell you."
	"I can’t sit down. I’m only programmed to walk and fade away into a house."
	"That is exactly the tomfoolery I won’t have time for when I’m running the cracker factory!"
	"I became the new owner today!"
	"What happened to Grandpa Mussolini?"
	"My first act as CEO will be to enact some new safety regulations."
	"Such as no one over the age of 80 can roller skate near the cracker cutters."

Character	Dialogue
	"Now since I am new to the world of business, I need to network to make important and exciting contacts."
	"I could introduce you to my friends. They are the working generation of tomorrow."
	"No, I don’t want to see Kearny again... too many painful memories."
	"So where are you going to network?"
	"At the only bar in town that accepts industrial cracker salt as payment."
	"Just don't come home with another new uncle. I think the last one stole my walkie talkies."

Character	Dialogue
	"Mom, what are all these boxes? Are they presents?"
	"Well, they’re presents for somebody. Somebody special. Me!"

Character	Dialogue
	"Mom, you’ve been a CEO for a week and haven’t gone into the office once." "You just keep ordering inspirational business posters."
	"I’ll have you know the key to success is inspirational business posters. So says this poster."
	"Dad always says never waste your money on office decorations. Or office supplies. Or working fire exits."
	"If your father’s so smart, then why didn’t he inherit a cracker factory?"
	"I’m just worried about paying for all this stuff."
	"Don’t be. Because I’m going to hire the most expensive financial consultant money can buy!"

Character	Dialogue
	"I know that look. It’s the same look Dad had when he was rejected from that medical study."
	"Do you have clinically depressed sperm too?"
	"No, Milhouse. I maxed out the credit cards on that fancy consultant."
	"Looks like we’ll have to discontinue our gluten-free, salt-free, reduced-taste cracker line."
	"The Milhouse Signature? But I told all my friends I had a cracker named after me. They’re both going to be disappointed."
	"I promise I can fix things. I just need to hire some new staff."
	"But I thought you said all the money was gone."
	"Remember when mommy and daddy weren’t talking and tried to buy your love with two allowances. You saved all that right?"
	"I was going to buy Lisa’s love with it, but my cracker legacy is more important. You can have it."

Character	Dialogue
	"Look Milhouse, I singlehandedly saved the factory."
	"That’s great! Does this mean I get my money back?"
	"Sorry sweetheart but corporate bonuses come first."
	"And bad news, the Milhouse Signature was banned by the FDA. They said a cracker can’t be more than 80% cardboard."

When sending working class Springfielders to work at the Cracker Factory, the premium rate for jobs is not awarded, despite the fact that the Cracker Factory being a premium building.
- Also, Hans Moleman originally didn't get premium payout neither, a mistake that has been corrected.