Money vs. Milhouse is the first part of the Luann Van Houten quests. It requires the Cracker Factory to start.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time
Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 1 Make Luann Make Mommy Meals for Milhouse
Make Luann Check on the Cracker Factory
Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 2 Make Luann Go to Moe's
Make Milhouse Go to his Room
Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 3 Make Luann Relax in a Jacuzzi Suit
Make Luann Ride in the MegaGlobe
Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 4 Make Luann Get an Overpriced Consultant 12h
Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 5 Make Luann Run the Cracker Factory
Make Springfield’s Working Class Work at the Cracker Factory (x3)


Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Luann Excited Icon.png "Oh, Milhouse, my sweet sweet treasure! Mommy's come home."
Milhouse Icon.png "You're back! Finally someone who knows how to open the dryer. My pants are so damp."
Luann Icon.png "Not so fast, baby bear. Mommy has to head to the factory and check on our family's bread and butter - crackers!"
Luann Icon.png "Can you make yourself dinner?"
Milhouse Icon.png "Dad taught me how to cook eggs on the radiator of the car."
Luann Sad Icon.png *Sigh* "Your father spends one Labor Day Weekend in a homeless shelter and suddenly he's full of hobo tricks."
Luann Icon.png "Hold on an I'll cook you something nutritious to eat."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Luann Icon.png "Milhouse, sit down, I’ve got some big news to tell you."
Milhouse Icon.png "I can’t sit down. I’m only programmed to walk and fade away into a house."
Luann Icon.png "That is exactly the tomfoolery I won’t have time for when I’m running the cracker factory!"
Luann Excited Icon.png "I became the new owner today!"
Milhouse Icon.png "What happened to Grandpa Mussolini?"
Luann Icon.png "My first act as CEO will be to enact some new safety regulations."
Luann Icon.png "Such as no one over the age of 80 can roller skate near the cracker cutters."

Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Luann Icon.png "Now since I am new to the world of business, I need to network to make important and exciting contacts."
Milhouse Icon.png "I could introduce you to my friends. They are the working generation of tomorrow."
Luann Icon.png "No, I don’t want to see Kearny again... too many painful memories."
Milhouse Icon.png "So where are you going to network?"
Luann Icon.png "At the only bar in town that accepts industrial cracker salt as payment."
Milhouse Icon.png "Just don't come home with another new uncle. I think the last one stole my walkie talkies."

Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Milhouse Icon.png "Mom, what are all these boxes? Are they presents?"
Luann Excited Icon.png "Well, they’re presents for somebody. Somebody special. Me!"

Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 4[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Milhouse Icon.png "Mom, you’ve been a CEO for a week and haven’t gone into the office once."
"You just keep ordering inspirational business posters."
Luann Icon.png "I’ll have you know the key to success is inspirational business posters. So says this poster."
Milhouse Icon.png "Dad always says never waste your money on office decorations. Or office supplies. Or working fire exits."
Luann Icon.png "If your father’s so smart, then why didn’t he inherit a cracker factory?"
Milhouse Icon.png "I’m just worried about paying for all this stuff."
Luann Icon.png "Don’t be. Because I’m going to hire the most expensive financial consultant money can buy!"

Money vs. Milhouse Pt. 5[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Milhouse Icon.png "I know that look. It’s the same look Dad had when he was rejected from that medical study."
Milhouse Icon.png "Do you have clinically depressed sperm too?"
Luann Sad Icon.png "No, Milhouse. I maxed out the credit cards on that fancy consultant."
Luann Sad Icon.png "Looks like we’ll have to discontinue our gluten-free, salt-free, reduced-taste cracker line."
Milhouse Sad Icon.png "The Milhouse Signature? But I told all my friends I had a cracker named after me. They’re both going to be disappointed."
Luann Icon.png "I promise I can fix things. I just need to hire some new staff."
Milhouse Icon.png "But I thought you said all the money was gone."
Luann Icon.png "Remember when mommy and daddy weren’t talking and tried to buy your love with two allowances. You saved all that right?"
Milhouse Icon.png "I was going to buy Lisa’s love with it, but my cracker legacy is more important. You can have it."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Luann Excited Icon.png "Look Milhouse, I singlehandedly saved the factory."
Milhouse Icon.png "That’s great! Does this mean I get my money back?"
Luann Icon.png "Sorry sweetheart but corporate bonuses come first."
Luann Icon.png "And bad news, the Milhouse Signature was banned by the FDA. They said a cracker can’t be more than 80% cardboard."

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • When sending working class Springfielders to work at the Cracker Factory, the premium rate for jobs is not awarded, despite the fact that the Cracker Factory being a premium building.
    • Also, Hans Moleman originally didn't get premium payout neither, a mistake that has been corrected.
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