Million Donut Baby

Million Donut Baby is a limited time side quest chain involving the character Drederick Tatum and his Boxing Drederick Tatum's new costume released on June 27, 2015, during the Tap Ball 2015 Event's Act 1.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest	Requirements	Time	Reward	Triggered By
Million Donut Baby Pt. 1	Make Boxer Tatum Get Back Into Shape	24h	100 10	Homer
Million Donut Baby Pt. 2	Make Boxer Tatum Fumble Around with his Gloves On Make Boxer Tatum Bond with his Pet Tiger Make Homer Perfect his Raw Egg Recipe	8h 24h 1d 08h	100 10	Drederick Tatum
Million Donut Baby Pt. 3	Make Moe and Boxer Tatum Have a Boxing Match	4h	100 10	Homer
Million Donut Baby Pt. 4	Make Boxer Tatum Shadowbox	4h	100 10	Homer

Character	Dialogue
	"sniff, sniff"
	"Former heavyweight boxing champ Drederick Tatum, are you crying?"
	"Please excuse my tears, fat person. I find myself consumed by melancholia."
	"You've permanently disfigured countless young men! What do you have to be sad about?"
	"The life of a pugilist was so simple. They would put a brain in front of me, and I would concuss it posthaste. It was quite enjoyable."
	"God gave me fists that can pound living tissue to a bloody pulp, and I have spurned that holy gift."
	"Even my menagerie of rare birds and high-end giraffes can no longer fill the hole in my brain."
	"You mean the hole in your heart..."
	"That too."
	"Well, there's only one thing to do! We've got to get you back in the ring!"

Character	Dialogue
	"It's not working, Coach Homer. I've lost the drive that made me a peerless psychopath. I've barely killed any sparring partners."
	"We'll figure something out. Here, drink this glass full of raw eggs."
	"Can we cook the eggs first? I so enjoy a perfectly shirred egg. Don't you concur?"
	"SHIRRED EGGS? A killing machine doesn't eat shirred eggs!"
	"That does it! From now on, we're doing this right! Raw eggs at every meal!"
	"You'll wear those boxing gloves day and night, until you remember how to use them!"
	"And you'll spend every night sleeping next to your pet tiger, relearning what it means to be a killer!"
	"Cohabitating with a tiger would seem to be a dangerous notion."
	"Yeah, well a boxer is nothing without “the eye of the tiger.” Or would you question the wisdom of Frank Stallone?"

Character	Dialogue
	"Drederick, I've been a fool. Obviously, I'm a world-class boxing trainer. No one doubts that."
	"But if the “Rocky” movies taught us anything, it's that no boxer can win without a Burgess Meredith-type in his corner."
	"We've got to find a cantankerous, gravel-voiced, wrinkly weirdo to complete your entourage."
	"HELLO!"
	"Moe! You're perfect!"
	"I remain sceptical of this gentleman's credentials."
	"Listen here, you lily-livered, sorry excuse for a boxer. I've been in the fight game since your Daddy was gettin' beat up by the milkmaid!"
	"Whoa. Moe, is that true?"
	"Nah, not really. Just caught up in the--"
	"Coach Homer, the words of this man are making me quite upset. May I hit him, please?"
	"Now wait a second--"
	"That's the Drederick Tatum I've been waiting to see! Finally, SOMETHING that makes you angry."
	"Let's get you and Moe in the ring right away!"
	"Hold on, hold on. Moe's not fightin' nobody..."

Character	Dialogue
	"You're back on top again Drederick!"
	"I hope to see you playing Tap Ball, we could use your skills on the court-field-greens-pitch."
	"Do the rules of Tap Ball allow for the pummelling of your fellow man's stupid face?"
	"I'm sorry, but the rules are very clear: you can only punch people who aren't me."
	"Oh, and Lisa. No hitting my daughter."
	"Not to worry. I am the one and only boxer on the face of the earth who restricts his violence to men."