"I love this medieval life!" “You get to crush your enemies, see them driven before you and hear the lamentations of their Flanderses." "I’m going to miss it when it’s gone." "And the elixir. Oh God, how I’m going to miss that sweet purple, purple, purple elixir!" "Purple."
"I just wish I’d gone with a different character." "Skulking in the shadows as a goblin thief has been fun and all, but it takes me an hour every day to get into makeup." "I want to spend an hour every day getting into armor!"
If the player does not buy the Shadow Night
"Aw, come on! How am I supposed to stomp noobs without the newest, overpowered store item."
If the player does buy the Shadow Night
"Man, this outfit comes with everything! It’s got a flaming sword, a throne with a beer stein, and it makes me three feet taller! Today, I am a man. A towering, scary man!"
"Did you see my berserker ranger kill that army of orcs? God, it was awesome!"
"I just didn't understand how a medieval knight could have lock-on targeting, or a heads-up-display, or carry so many throwing axes…"
"Who cares? It reminded me of the cardinal rules of videogames — things don’t have to make sense as long as they’re fun!"
"I don’t know. I like how in Assassin’s Creed they spend the first two hours of the game explaining how you interface and abilities are from a near-future technology allowing you to replay your ancestors past encoded in the DNA of-"
*getting stabbed noise*
"No. What was fun about that game was what’s fun about every game...killing people!"