Mars Won is a limited time questline released on January 21st, 2016 with the Deep Space Homer 2016 Event. This quest requires the player to have unlocked Quimby to start.
Science. What is it? And why is it out to kill us? We have Professor Frink with the frightening details.
Yes Kent, an asteroid appears to be on track to hit Springfield in approximately 42,000 years.
However, there is nothing to worry about. By my calculations, human life will have been extinct for 41,999 years by then.
So, would you say this is the doing of our Martian Insect Overlords?
Well, it's extremely unlikely any intelligent alien life originated on Mars.
There you have it folks! Aliens have conquered Mars, and are now attacking Earth with asteroids.
Not on my watch! Quick, someone build a rocket launch pad and hang a ‘Mission Accomplished' banner on it.
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The launch pad is built, but will our town be saved? But first, this just in... my mouth: a bite of Springfield's first pizza baked exclusively by cats!
Mars Won Pt. 2[]
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If a slew of similar sci-fi movies has taught us anything, it's that the best way to deal with asteroids is atomic bombs!
Atomic bombs, eh? I'd be glad to sell you one from my stockpile... in exchange for not being arrested for having a stockpile of atomic bombs.
Do you have a problem if the bomb is purchased with funds earmarked for orphans?
I prefer it!
Umm, Mr. Burns. I'm afraid I lost the key to the atomic bomb storage slash seasonal firework emporium, but I'm sure it's around here somewhere.
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You know, NARA is now accepting astronaut auditions if any of you gentlemen are interested.
I used to be an astronaut, but I gave it up to pursue my dream job -- being a drunk.
If you want to become an astronaut again, I could help. I am a trained member of the National Astronomics and Radiation Association or NARA. I could be your sports professor.
Do you mean coach?
Yes! That's what it's called. How about one last drink before training to celebrate?
Sure! Moe, I'd like a keg to stay please.
“
Check out the store for Astronaut Barney and other space themed decorations.
”
— System Message.
Mars Won Pt. 3[]
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What brave soul is going to detonate the bomb by riding on it like a cowboy?
You do realize that you don't need to ride a bomb like a cowboy to make it go off, don't you?
Well NOW I do.
All we really need is an unmanned missile to hit the asteroid and destroy it.
I'll build it! I have been looking for a new hobby.
Really? Because you said you were all booked up when I asked you to join my “Can you build a robot that feels?” team.
We got eighth place. The robot took it really hard.
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Some sort of rod shaped object was blown into space.
My spectral analysis of the object reveals that the rod was both carbon and inanimate!
Not the Inanimate Carbon Rod! He's a hero!
I was named after him.
I learned about how he and Jesus walked on the moon in science class.
I was able to connect to the Hoyvin Glaven satellite and saw the rod peacefully convince the asteroid to move out of the way of Springfield.
If I was twenty years younger and it was legal to marry inanimate objects, I'd marry that rod.
How's a Moe like this supposed to compete with a rod like that? Might as well give up and let myself go.
Annnnd… done.
In honor of the rod, I proudly announce that without any proper procedure or legislative oversight, Springfield will start a space program led by Professor Frink!
I'll be following the NARA certification process to a ‘T', which is NARA's third most regulated letter.
“
Get official NARA approval for your space program by earning NARA certification stars.