Malpractice Makes Perfect
Release Date
April 28, 2015
Malpractice Makes Perfect was a limited time quest chain involving the character Dr. Robert that was released on April 28, 2015 during the Terwilligers 2015 Event .
Quest [ ]
Quest
Requirements
Time
Reward
Triggered By
Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt. 1
Make Homer Try Alternative Medicine
8h
100, 10
Homer
Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt. 2
Make Dr. Robert Offer Terwilliger Treatments
12h
100, 10
Dr. Robert
Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt. 3
Make Lisa Look into Dr. Robert's Treatments Make Homer Cure a Cold with Beer
4h 4h
100, 10
Lisa
Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt. 4
Make Dr. Robert Offer Terwilliger Treatments Lisa Research Dr. Robert's Past
12h 12h
100, 10
Dr. Robert
Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt. 5
Make Springfielders Enjoy Dubious Medical Advice (4x)
8h
100, 10
Lisa
Dialogue [ ]
Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt.1 [ ]
Start [ ]
Character
Dialogue
"Does your head hurt? Is your stomach queasy? Are you tired and irritable all day?"
"Yes!"
"But your regular doctor just tells you to cut out the booze and get some exercise, am I right?"
"Yes, the evil jerk."
"Then try the “Terwilliger Treatment”, a holistic medical approach that works with your lifestyle choices, not against them."
"Ooh, “lifestyle choices” sounds a lot better than “the damn-fool things you do that are killing you.”"
End [ ]
Character
Dialogue
"That treatment really worked! I feel good as new!"
"No more symptoms, like bloating, lethargy, irritable bowel, or sleep apnea?"
"No, I still got all of that, but that's what I meant."
"Everything's back to normal!"
Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt.2 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
"Doctor Robert, I have a terrible case of “cruiser back.”"
"You get it from sleeping in your police cruiser while you're supposed to be catching speeders."
"Drink 3 cups a day of my special health tea blend, but, and this is important, only after a meal of donuts."
"Now that's great doctoring!"
"How about my painful and embarrassing face twitch here?"
"Buy my homeopathic water, blend it with your beer, and serve it to your customers."
"Wow, it works! My face twitch has been replaced by a gloating smile."
Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt.3 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
"Dad, I don't think Doctor Terwilliger's advice is very helpful. It sounds like all he's doing is telling people what they want to hear."
"Can't talk, Lisa. He's got me on strict course of “Laze in the Hammock” therapy."
"Are any of these treatments even remotely supported by science?"
"Honey, “alternative medicine” is supported by centuries of wisdom from ancient cultures."
"Now hand me the ancient cure for a cold: a six-pack of ice-cold Duff."
Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt.4 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
"Dr. Robert, I think you're just making money by giving people “medical” approval to do whatever they want."
"Lisa, medicine isn't about “cures” and “science”. It's about making patients happy through healthful, sensible choices."
"Doctor Robert, do you have anything for stress?"
"Indeed I do. But I'm afraid it involves dating a lot of much younger women."
"Somehow I will find the courage to endure the treatment."
Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt.5 [ ]
Character
Dialogue
"People of Springfield!"
"Oh great, another Lisa shouting thing."
"Doctor Robert is a fraud! He's not an MD doctor. He just has a doctorate in education."
"A “D. Ed”? That's barely a doctor of anything."
"Skinner, I have a D. Ed."
"Dr. Robert, do you have anything for a sudden stress headache?"
"Indeed I do. And Lisa, during my many years as a school administrator, I found a remedy for the sickness that ails you…"
"Chronic Unpopularity."
"I would never accept your help... totally unproven... but it never hurts to ask... um, what's the remedy?"
"Just keep doing what you're doing, and eventually people will come to love you."
"Well, I guess that's worth five bucks."
Quest Map
Promotionals
Regular Quest · Premium Quest
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