Malpractice Makes Perfect was a limited time quest chain involving the character Dr. Robert that was released on April 28, 2015 during the Terwilligers 2015 Event.

Quest[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt. 1 Make Homer Try Alternative Medicine 8h Cash100, Experience10 Homer
Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt. 2 Make Dr. Robert Offer Terwilliger Treatments 12h Cash100, Experience10 Dr. Robert
Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt. 3 Make Lisa Look into Dr. Robert's Treatments
Make Homer Cure a Cold with Beer
Cash100, Experience10 Lisa
Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt. 4 Make Dr. Robert Offer Terwilliger Treatments
Lisa Research Dr. Robert's Past
Cash100, Experience10 Dr. Robert
Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt. 5 Make Springfielders Enjoy Dubious Medical Advice (4x) 8h Cash100, Experience10 Lisa

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt.1[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Dr. Robert Icon.png "Does your head hurt? Is your stomach queasy? Are you tired and irritable all day?"
Homer Happy Icon.png "Yes!"
Dr. Robert Icon.png "But your regular doctor just tells you to cut out the booze and get some exercise, am I right?"
Homer Angry Icon.png "Yes, the evil jerk."
Dr. Robert Icon.png "Then try the “Terwilliger Treatment”, a holistic medical approach that works with your lifestyle choices, not against them."
Homer Ooh Icon.png "Ooh, “lifestyle choices” sounds a lot better than “the damn-fool things you do that are killing you.”"

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Homer Icon.png "That treatment really worked! I feel good as new!"
Dr. Robert Icon.png "No more symptoms, like bloating, lethargy, irritable bowel, or sleep apnea?"
Homer Icon.png "No, I still got all of that, but that's what I meant."
Homer Icon.png "Everything's back to normal!"

Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt.2[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Icon.png "Doctor Robert, I have a terrible case of “cruiser back.”"
Wiggum Icon.png "You get it from sleeping in your police cruiser while you're supposed to be catching speeders."
Dr. Robert Icon.png "Drink 3 cups a day of my special health tea blend, but, and this is important, only after a meal of donuts."
Wiggum Icon.png "Now that's great doctoring!"
Moe Icon.png "How about my painful and embarrassing face twitch here?"
Dr. Robert Icon.png "Buy my homeopathic water, blend it with your beer, and serve it to your customers."
Moe Icon.png "Wow, it works! My face twitch has been replaced by a gloating smile."

Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt.3[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon.png "Dad, I don't think Doctor Terwilliger's advice is very helpful. It sounds like all he's doing is telling people what they want to hear."
Homer Icon.png "Can't talk, Lisa. He's got me on strict course of “Laze in the Hammock” therapy."
Lisa Icon.png "Are any of these treatments even remotely supported by science?"
Homer Icon.png "Honey, “alternative medicine” is supported by centuries of wisdom from ancient cultures."
Homer Icon.png "Now hand me the ancient cure for a cold: a six-pack of ice-cold Duff."

Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt.4[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon.png "Dr. Robert, I think you're just making money by giving people “medical” approval to do whatever they want."
Dr. Robert Icon.png "Lisa, medicine isn't about “cures” and “science”. It's about making patients happy through healthful, sensible choices."
Wiggum Icon.png "Doctor Robert, do you have anything for stress?"
Dr. Robert Icon.png "Indeed I do. But I'm afraid it involves dating a lot of much younger women."
Wiggum Icon.png "Somehow I will find the courage to endure the treatment."

Malpractice Makes Perfect Pt.5[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Lisa Icon.png "People of Springfield!"
Homer Icon.png "Oh great, another Lisa shouting thing."
Lisa Shouting Icon.png "Doctor Robert is a fraud! He's not an MD doctor. He just has a doctorate in education."
Skinner Icon.png "A “D. Ed”? That's barely a doctor of anything."
Chalmers Icon.png "Skinner, I have a D. Ed."
Skinner Icon.png "Dr. Robert, do you have anything for a sudden stress headache?"
Dr. Robert Icon.png "Indeed I do. And Lisa, during my many years as a school administrator, I found a remedy for the sickness that ails you…"
Dr. Robert Icon.png "Chronic Unpopularity."
Lisa Icon.png "I would never accept your help... totally unproven... but it never hurts to ask... um, what's the remedy?"
Dr. Robert Icon.png "Just keep doing what you're doing, and eventually people will come to love you."
Lisa Icon.png "Well, I guess that's worth five bucks."
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