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Making an Honest Buck is a side questline released on April 17, 2020, during Act 2 of the Simpsons Wrestling 2020 Event. It requires the costume Honest Abe for Grampa.

Quests Edit

Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered by
Making an Honest Buck Pt. 1 Make Honest Abe Piledrive Mr. Burns 4h Cash100
XP10
Mr. Burns
Making an Honest Buck Pt. 2 Make Honest Abe Give Nelson a Half-Nelson 8h Cash100
XP10
Marge
Making an Honest Buck Pt. 3 Make Honest Abe Tag Team the Bible Thumpers 4h Cash100
XP10
Grampa
Making an Honest Buck Pt. 4 Make Honest Abe Clone Himself With the BIFURCATION-inator 4h Cash100
XP10
Mr. Burns
Making an Honest Buck Pt. 5 Make Honest Abe Get a Spa Treatment 4h Cash200
XP20
Wolfcastle*

* If the character is not owned, the quest will automatically begin.

Dialogue Edit

Making an Honest Buck Pt. 1 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Icon Well, if it isn’t Honest Abe!
Honest Abe Icon Burns, you’ve already recovered from the Diving Corkscrew Elbow Drop I gave you in the ring?
Mr. Burns Icon My good man, that elbow drop did more for my back than my chiropractor has in thirty years.
Mr. Burns Happy Icon Do me again, Abe!
Honest Abe Icon *lifts Mr. Burns*
Mr. Burns Surprised Icon *back cracking sounds* Aaaaahhh, that’s some good old fashioned bone-on-bone action…

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Bart Icon You okay, Mr. Burns?
Mr. Burns Shocked Icon *laying on the ground* I can’t feel my legs.
Mr. Burns Happy Icon Before they pained me so. Now nothing! I’ve never felt so alive!
Mr. Burns Icon Smithers, pick me up! I want to do the Five Step Waltz! No…this is a celebration. Make it a Six Step Waltz!

Making an Honest Buck Pt. 2 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Marge Icon Abe, I don’t think Body Slamming a hundred-plus year old man is very wise.
Honest Abe Icon You’re right, Marge. I should stick to slamming ninety-year-olds!
Marge Icon I mean you’re no spring chicken yourself. You shouldn’t be getting in the ring at all at your age.
Honest Abe Annoyed Icon At my age?! I’d Body Slam you right now if it wouldn’t make Christmas awkward!
Honest Abe Icon That’s it. I challenge the whole darn town! Five hundred bucks to anyone who dares take Honest Abe in the ring.
Nelson Sneaky Icon Hmm, five hundred bucks would buy a lot of sleeves for my vest…

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Wiggum Surprised Icon Whoa, whoa, whoa. Abe, you can’t beat up a little kid. That’s our job.
Wiggum Icon Now unhand that bully. And I’ll take the cash as evidence.
Lou Icon Evidence?
Wiggum Guilty Icon Here’s fifty bucks to forget this ever happened.
Lou Sly Icon A hundred bucks puts me in a coma till next Tuesday.

Making an Honest Buck Pt. 3 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Honest Abe Sad Icon If I can’t wrestle little kids anymore, what’s the point of being alive?
Bart Sad Icon Come on, Grampa. There’s gotta be somebody who’ll take your challenge.
Rev. Lovejoy Annoyed Icon Prepare to meet your maker, Abe.
Ned Shocked Icon Reverend?! Jesus climbed onto a cross, but you climbing into a ring is a whole different thing.
Rev. Lovejoy Annoyed Icon Ned, the Good Book tells us that Jesus will return in the end times heavily tattooed, wearing blood-soaked robes, with swords coming out of his mouth.
Rev. Lovejoy Annoyed Icon This is as close to Jesus as I can get. I’m getting in that ring and laying down the law. The Law of Moses!
Ned Happy Icon Well, I can’t recite a contradictory scripture so… tag team?
Rev. Lovejoy Annoyed Icon So it is written… tag team.

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Helen Lovejoy Angsty Icon Timothy Lovejoy! Why in God’s name are you wrestling?!
Rev. Lovejoy Annoyed Icon That’s exactly why, Helen. All in God’s name.
Helen Lovejoy Angsty Icon And Ned! You’re wrestling too?
Ned Angry Icon I got a tag team dream with a death wish for a death match!

Making an Honest Buck Pt. 4 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Mr. Burns Icon Abe, old friend. If you wish to prove you’re still the best in the squared circle, you’ll have to fight… Glamorous Godfrey!
Honest Abe Surprised Icon Glamorous Godfrey? But he’s retired! Also, side note: he’s ME! I can’t fight myself.
Professor Frink Icon Did I hear something about molecular DNA disjointification cloning?
Honest Abe Surprised Icon Cloning?! Is that even possible?
Professor Frink Icon With this machine it is! The BIFURCATION-inator. That stands for Breaking Into Flesh Until Really Catastrophic Anatomical—
Honest Abe Annoyed Icon I’m sitting down. This explanation is longer than I thought.
Professor Frink Happy Icon --Tearing Is Only Natural… inator.
Professor Frink Exhausted Icon I’ll sit down now too.

End Edit

Character Dialogue
Gorgeous Grampa Sad Icon *poofing into existence* What the--?! Who took me away from my preening mirror?
Professor Frink Happy Icon I can’t believe it worked! This is a scientific achievement of the highest order!
Honest Abe Surprised Icon Wait. You mean you never tested this thing before?!
Professor Frink Embarrassed Icon Let’s not focus on the details. What’s important is that… uh-oh Godfrey is disintegrating, and melting, and… poof, he’s gone.
Professor Frink Deadpan Icon Making a note here… solid progress.

Making an Honest Buck Pt. 5 Edit

Start Edit

Character Dialogue
Wolfcastle Icon Abe, I accept your challenge. But if I win then the money goes to Charity.
Honest Abe Icon Charity? Then I’d be honored to lose. Which charity?
Wolfcastle Icon Charity is my mistress.
Honest Abe Annoyed Icon I shoulda known it was a screwy offer. I’ll be damned if--
Wolfcastle Icon Charity runs an organization for underprivileged children.
Honest Abe Icon Oh, sorry. Okay, but before I get in the ring with you, I want to see your preening skills.
Wolfcastle Surprised Icon I thought only Glamorous Godfrey concerned himself with preening.
Honest Abe Annoyed Icon I don’t see preening!
Wolfcastle Sad Icon Okay, okay, like this?
Honest Abe Annoyed Icon More strut! Work the hair!
Wolfcastle Surprised Icon My body doesn’t move like that! *crack*
Wolfcastle Pained Icon Ach! My back! *falls to the ground* I can’t… go on…
Honest Abe Happy Icon Oh, well. Guess I’ll just take my money then. I’m off to the spa. Give my best to Charity!

End Edit

No dialogue.

Trivia Edit

  • Professor Frink's Making a note here… solid progress. at the end of part four is a reference to the line I'm making a note here: HUGE SUCCESS! from the song Still Alive in the video game Portal.
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