La Dolce Morte is a premium, limited time quest chain involving the character Francesca Terwilliger that was released on April 28, 2015 during the Terwilligers 2015 Event.


Quest Requirements Time Reward Triggered By
La Dolce Morte Pt. 1 Make Francesca Try to Choke Marge with a Plastic Bag
Make Marge Fend Francesca Off with a Bunch of Carrots
Cash100, XP10 Francesca
La Dolce Morte Pt. 2 Make Francesca Teach Marge Italian Cooking
Make Marge Learn Italian Cooking
Cash100, XP10 Francesca
La Dolce Morte Pt. 3 Make Francesca Pronounce a Vengeful Curse 12h Cash100, XP10 Francesca
La Dolce Morte Pt. 4 Make Francesca Juggle Knives
Make Marge Fret
Cash100, XP10 Francesca
La Dolce Morte Pt. 5 Make Francesca Go Shopping 6h Cash100, XP10 Francesca


La Dolce Morte Pt. 1Edit

Character Dialogue
Marge Icon "I tell you Maggie, the hardest thing about grocery shopping is judging the produce."
Marge Icon "Pardon me, ma'am, can I ask your opinion? Are these “vine-ripened tomatoes” ripe enough? Or are they too ripe?"
Francesca Terwilliger Annoyed Icon "You dare to ask me, Francesca Terwilliger, about the status of tomatoes?!"
Francesca Terwilliger Annoyed Icon "After your son has tormented my poor Sideshow of a husband for all these years?!"
Francesca Terwilliger Angry Icon "I shall choke you on your own plastic produce bag!"

La Dolce Morte Pt. 2Edit


Character Dialogue
Francesca Terwilliger Sad Icon "Marge, please forgive. I am so fiery and impetuous."
Francesca Terwilliger Icon "It's not my fault I behave like a stereotype from a 1960s Fellini movie."
Francesca Terwilliger Happy Icon "Let us be friends and I will teach you to make a tomato sauce that will send your family into raptures."
Marge Sad Icon "Um, no offense, but I don't really need a friend."
Francesca Terwilliger Icon "Come on, Marge. I've watched the show. In 26 years the only buddy you've had was that “Selma and Louise” chick."
Marge Sad Icon "Fine. Let's cook."


Character Dialogue
Homer Icon "Pretty good dinner, Marge."
Francesca Terwilliger Angry Icon "That is all you can say?! This food would make a saint cry! Kiss your wife's feet and beg forgiveness!"
Homer Sad Icon "I would but I can't bend below the eyebrows."

La Dolce Morte Pt. 3Edit


Character Dialogue
Helen Lovejoy Icon "Okay, let's get this bake sale organized. My cookies front and center, Marge's cake holding the left flank…"
Helen Lovejoy Icon "And Francesca's bone-dry biscotti way in the rear."
Francesca Terwilliger Angry Icon "You dried-up Protestant hag! You know nothing of the ways of Italian baking. I cast the evil eye at you!"


Character Dialogue
Helen Lovejoy Angsty Icon "No one casts the evil eye at me. I put the baleful eye of the Presbylutheran on you."
Marge Surprised Icon "Ladies, please, let's not descend into sectarian glaring."
Helen Lovejoy Angsty Icon "This is your fault, Marge. You invited Francesca. You're out of the bake sale!"
Francesca Terwilliger Happy Icon "You don't need them, Marge. You've got me, a volatile, murderous Italian friend."

La Dolce Morte Pt. 4Edit


Character Dialogue
Wiggum Serious Icon "Can't park there, ladies. Move it along."
Francesca Terwilliger Icon "Ooh, are you some kind of G.I.? Stereotypical Italian women love G.I.s."
Francesca Terwilliger Happy Icon "Give me some nylons, marry me, and take me away to your “Hoboken, New Jersey”."
Wiggum Sad Icon "Gee, I'd sure like to, but my wife Sarah hates the East coast."
Francesca Terwilliger Angry Icon "You are cheating on me with another woman?! I'll carve your fat butt into bacon!"
Marge Surprised Icon "Francesca, no! Not with my steak knives."


Character Dialogue
Wiggum Sad Icon "Marge! Call off Francesca. Or at least call for help. A cop would be good."
Marge Sad Icon "Francesca, you mustn't hurt Chief Wiggum. He's the master of ceremonies at church Bingo night..."
Francesca Terwilliger Icon "Very well. But I am filled with emotion. You must listen to me rant in Italian and gesticulate for three hours."
Marge Sad Icon "This is why I don't have friends, Lisa."

La Dolce Morte Pt. 5Edit


Character Dialogue
Marge Icon "Francesca, you know we're best friends, suddenly."
Francesca Terwilliger Happy Icon "More than friends -- sisters. One beautiful and fascinating, the other good at housework."
Marge Icon "So true. And I think that's why Homer has fallen in love with you."
Francesca Terwilliger Surprised Icon "What, the fat baldy has a thing for me?"
Marge Icon "Oh yes. And because we're such friends, I'm going to step aside and let you have him."
Francesca Terwilliger Sad Icon "Look, I really prefer men with hair. Giant amounts of crazy hair."
Marge Icon "I'm sorry, but as long as you keep spending time with me, Homer will keep coming after you."
Francesca Terwilliger Sad Icon "Then for the sake of our friendship, our friendship is at an end!"
Francesca Terwilliger Sad Icon "I don't know how I'll ever forget you, Marge."
Francesca Terwilliger Icon "Oh wait, I do. I'll go shopping."


Character Dialogue
Homer Thoughtful Icon "Whatever happened to that Francesca chick?"
Marge Sad Icon "I got rid of her by telling the biggest lie of my life."
Homer Scared Icon "*GASP* That it's wrong to put beer on cereal? For shame, Marge."
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