Krusty the Hair Colorist is a questline from the level 42 update. These quests happen during the Islands in the Revenue Stream questline.

Quests[edit | edit source]

Quest Requirements Triggered By Time
Krusty the Hair Colorist Pt. 1 Make Krusty Block Blue-Hairs from Krusty Burger Krusty 3h
Krusty the Hair Colorist Pt. 2 Make Krusty Discriminate Against Blue-Haired People Krusty 5h
Krusty the Hair Colorist Pt. 3 Make Milhouse Take Krusty to Court

Make Judge Snyder Preside Over a Court Session
Make Blue Haired Lawyer Prosecute Krusty

Milhouse 4h

Dialogue[edit | edit source]

Krusty the Hair Colorist Pt. 1[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Angry Icon.png "Stupid Blue-Hairs! This is what I get for trusting those types of people. Always trying to crook away your money."
Milhouse Icon.png "Mr. the Clown, I know I see you all the time, but can I have another autograph?"
Milhouse Sad Icon.png "I keep having to give them away to bullies so they don't steal my retainer.:
Krusty Angry Icon.png "Scram, you worthless blue-haired kid. And don't you even think of putting your toe into a Krusty Burger."
"You're banned! All Blue-Hairs are banned!"
Krusty Icon.png "Huh. I never knew bigotry was this emotionally satisfying. I think I finally get the South."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Icon.png "Nothing blocks people from entering a building like juggling."
"This is the perfect revenge. There's no way this act of bigotry doesn't work out great for me."

Krusty the Hair Colorist Pt. 2[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Angry Icon.png "These shifty Blue-Hairs are rotting this city from the inside."
"It's time we deal with this problem using good old fashioned 20th century methods. Like they use in Arizona."
Krusty Icon.png "I've already banned them from Krusty Burger."
"Now to use my powerful connections in City Hall to lobby for a Blue-Hair ID program, Blue-Hair-only bathrooms, and eventually Blue-Hair deportation."
"I'm stepping up this discrimination from de facto to de jure."

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Quimby Icon.png "There is absolutely no way, erm, I can do what you want, Krusty. It's plainly illegal and immoral."
"When a Quimby won't take your bribe, you know you've crossed a line."
Krusty Icon.png "I just want to treat certain people as second-class citizens, based solely on the color of their hair. How can that be wrong?"
Quimby Icon.png "No politician can win an election if he's associated with hair colorism, even an election he fixed."
Krusty Sad Icon.png "But D-Joe, they took Itchy & Scratchy from me."
Krusty Angry Icon.png "You have to help me dehumanize these people. It's the only way I can get everyone to stop thinking of them as human!"

Krusty the Hair Colorist Pt. 3[edit | edit source]

Start[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Milhouse Icon.png "Mr. the Clown, I know you hate my kind, but can you sign one last autograph? And then initial pages 3, 5, 8, and 9?"
Krusty Angry Icon.png "How did you get in here, Blue-Hair?!"
Krusty Sad Icon.png *sigh* "Never hire a monkey to run your security."
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "Krusty, this here is a class-action lawsuit for your blatantly discriminatory service policy."
"You can't keep people out of Krusty Burger based on the color of their hair."
"Only on the content of their character... as evidenced by a lack of shirt and/or shoes."
Krusty Sad Icon.png "You can sue someone for being a bigot?! There's no chance I can beat a lawsuit. This town only has one lawyer."
Hans Moleman Icon.png "I'll be your Perry Mason, Krusto. I got a JD when someone flushed theirs into the sewer."
Krusty Angry Icon.png "This degree is from Dartmouth. I think I'm better off representing myself."

Middle[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "Today I will show this court that Krusty not only discriminated against Blue-Hair-Americans like my client and myself, but also his own father!"
"For as this picture shows, Rabbi Hyman Krustofski was born with blue hair!"
Judge Snyder Icon.png "DUN DUN DUN!"
Krusty Sad Icon.png "Oh no, Papa! How I have slandered and disgraced you!"
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "Once again, you've been Blue-Haired Lawyered!"

End[edit | edit source]

Character Dialogue
Krusty Icon.png "My mother was born with yellow hair, my father with blue, and that adds up to me having green hair."
"It seems so obvious once I say the chromatic structure out loud."
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "Krusty, you can hand my client your entire net worth in either bags marked with dollar signs or chests full of coins made of gold."
Milhouse Icon.png "Oh Mr. Lawyer, I don't want any money."
Blue-Haired Lawyer Icon.png "SHUH-WHUT?!"
Milhouse Icon.png "All I want is for Krusty to go back to showing Itchy & Scratchy."
Judge Snyder Icon.png "Well, I have no legal right to force one private company to work with another private company… but I just can't resist the wish of a child."
"Blue-Haired Lawyer, get Itchy & Scratchy back on the air!"

Trivia[edit | edit source]

  • Part 3 of the questline is currently bugged (as of Dec 12 2014), due to Blue Haired Lawyer being a premium character. While Milhouse's and Krusty's quests will appear and complete in part 3, the quest will then stick on those two being "Done!" and not actually complete.
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