"These here possums has to soak in a pot a melted butter for an hour. Mainly, so's I kin be sure they's dead. Cause a half-dead possum kin get purty scratchity." "While I'm waitin', I suppose I can catch up on some of my housekeeping and parenting duties."
"Mmm, something's cooking, let's have a taste!" "Ugh! That is the worst thing I've ever tasted and I have eaten pretty much everything that can fit in my mouth."
"That's partly cuz you's tasting it with my fly-swatting spoon. But also cuz it's missing a special ingrediment." "Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta go see that monkey-faced man what sells that strange, non-blinding moonshine"
"Okay, mister, I helped you move that polka-dot Chinese bear. Now give me my secret ingrediment."
"Of course. Here you go, one precious panda bear egg."
"What? First of all, pandas don't lay eggs and secondly, that's a lemon."
"Pipe down, Encyclopedia Brown. I need her hillbilly super strength. If you keep quiet, I'll let you pet the pandas."
"Are you kidding me? You're asking me to go against my core values just to pet a--- Oh my God they're so fuzzy! Okay, an hour of petting and I'll be cool."
"Nonsense, Darlin'. When it comes to Tomacco, I likes a heavy hand."
"But the smell of it drew the attention of all them Tomacco-addicted Sheep-Junkies what roam this hillside." "They busted in and ate the whole washtub of possum."
"Aw, don't you fret, we gots these places where you can have your grub made by a pro-fessnal vittle-fixer n' brought out to ya by these people called waitnesses."
"That's sounds like a moonshine-daydream! Take me to this place!"
"I used to love my simple home. Now that I've seen the city, everythin' here seems so dusty and full of brambles." "'Specially the dust-pond and the bramble-shed."
"It pains to hear you talk like that, my dear Sister-mom. Hey, your favorite TV show is on! Maybe that's shut you up!"
"Yes. I will escape into the dreamy, soft embrace of staged arguments amongst fish-lipped, cat-faced ladies."
"We interrupt this broadcast to bring you urgent news!" "In an effort to stay ahead of bloggers and the tweet-o-sphere, Channel Six is reporting a signicant possibility Springfield may fall victim to a terrorist attack in the near and/or distant future..." "Stay tuned to hear from people we frightened on the street with our questions."
"Now I remember why I don't like city livin'." "You get caught up in the glamour of napkins and forgets whats important: stockpiling 'munitions so's to potect 'merica!" "Until such time that we hill folk rise up against the guv'mint."
"You know Cletus, when I thinks of all the threats we face day to day, makes me wonder why anyone's want to bring a child into this world." "When what they should be doing is bringing a whole army of chirren into this world."
"Dang straight! They ain't no problem in the world what idn't made better by having more babies."
"We better shake a tail feather, we got a barracks to fill. I think I already gots one in the chute. I'll birth it out and we kin git started on t'oter."
"Aw, Brandine, I jes love our date nights."
“
You unlocked a new job for Brandine! You can now send her to Birth Another Spuckler.
"90 days? Excuse me, Mrs. Spuckler, but isn't the human gestational period 9 months?"
"Brandine ain't had a nine month pregnancy since she went swimming outside the Nuke-lar plat."
"It's like my baby oven is now a microwave."
After Having Brandine Give Birth 3 Times[edit | edit source]
Character
Dialogue
"Good Lord, Springfield has suddenly dropped to the bottom of every list with regard to literacy and income. And we've shot to the top of the charts with regard to webbed feet." "Brandine and Cletus, your giant family is throwing off all of our averages. What can we to do convince you to stop reproducing?"
"You cain't ask us to stop making chirren, having a gigantic family means everythin' to me--"
"We'll give you free tickets to every tractor pull."
"You got yourself a deal! Who cares if my arms are empty long as I get to watch giant tractors pull thangs."