The Simpsons: Tapped Out Wiki
The Simpsons: Tapped Out Wiki

I'm here because I have nowhere else to go!
 
— Kirk's unlock message

Kirk is a character released on November 7, 2013 along with the level 37 update. He is unlocked upon completion of the Bachelor Arms Apartments.

About[]

Kirk Evelyn Van Houten is the unemployed father of Milhouse and the ex-husband of Luann.

Read the full article here at Simpsons Wiki

Jobs[]

Regular[]

Task Rewards Time Requires Visual Good?
Eat at Krusty Burger Cash40
Experience10
30m Krusty Burger
Borrow a Self Help Book Cash70
Experience17
60m Springfield Library
Give a Terrible Job Interview Cash135
Experience35
3h Van Brunt & Churchill Ad Agency
Cry Sitting Down in the Shower Cash175
Experience45
4h Bachelor Arms Apartments
Get Career Hypnosis Cash260
Experience70
4h Master Hypnotist Tent
Hand Out Fliers Cash275
Experience70
8h -
Hire a Private Eye Cash275
Experience70
8h Private Investigator Office
Run the Cracker Factory Cash420
Experience105
8h Cracker Factory
Advertise Condos Cash420
Experience100
12h -
Protect Crops Cash500
Experience125
16h Cletus's Farm
Collect Unemployment Check Cash600
Experience150
24h Office of Unemployment

Level Quest Based[]

Task Rewards Time Requires Quest Visual
Dine at El Chemistri Cash175
Experience45
4h El Chemistri Hardly Kirk-Ing Pt. 4
Testify Cash350
Experience90
4h Court House and Judge Snyder Testify! Pt. 1
Work at the Cracker Factory Cash275
Experience70
8h Cracker Factory Hardly Kirk-Ing Pt. 1
Thaw Frozen Hot Dogs in the Sink Cash420
Experience100
12h Bachelor Arms Apartments Weekend Dad Pt. 3
Work as Library Door Monitor Cash20*
Experience200
12h Springfield Library Weekend Dad Pt. 6
Work as Assistant Dishwasher Cash20*
Experience200
12h Skip's Diner Weekend Dad Pt. 10
Get Belittled By Nerds Cash20*
Experience200
12h Android's Dungeon Weekend Dad Pt. 14
Clean Up Fleet-A-Pitas Cash500
Experience125
16h Fleet-A-Pita Van Hardly Kirk-Ing Pt. 2
Work at the School Cash20*
Experience200
24h Springfield Elementary Weekend Dad Pt. 4
Serve Time Cash600
Experience150
24h Springfield Penitentiary Weekend Dad Pt. 7
Gold-Farm in Homer's Happy Little Elves Game Cash20*
Experience200
24h Bart's Tree House Weekend Dad Pt. 11/12

*During the questline, Weekend Dad, several of Kirk's jobs have a lower payout than normal.

Event Quest Based[]

Task Rewards Time Requires Quest Visual
Argue Cash350
Experience90
6h Van Houten House Early Squirrel Gets the Nut Pt. 4

Quest Based[]

Task Rewards Time Requires Quest Visual
Attend Court Hearing Cash175
Experience45
4h Court House Two Extra Eyes on Springfield Pt. 7
Storm Police Station Cash420
Experience100
12h Police Station Two Extra Eyes on Springfield Pt. 5
Protest Cash600
Experience150
24h Channel 6 Two Extra Eyes On Springfield Pt. 4

Limited Time[]

Task Rewards Time Requires Quest Visual
Attend a Wake for Thanksgiving Cash175
Experience45
4h Simpson House Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 5
Eat at a Restaurant Gift Cards17
Experience45
4h Restaurants Too Much of a Good Thing Pt. 10
Enjoy a Beer Gift Cards17
Experience45
4h Moe's Tavern Too Much of a Good Thing Pt. 11
Drink Craft Beer Cash175
Experience45
4h O'Flanagan's Pub O'Flan-again Pt. 4 & Pt. 5
Shop for Loved Ones Gift Cards22
Experience55
6h Shops Too Much of a Good Thing Pt. 12
Overeat Gift Cards27
Experience70
8h Restaurants Too Much of a Good Thing Pt. 14
Drink Too Much Gift Cards27
Experience70
8h Moe's Tavern Too Much of a Good Thing Pt. 15
Hunt for the Simpsons Gift Cards27
Experience70
8h Homes Too Much of a Good Thing Pt. 18
Gather At The Simpsons House Cash275
24
8h Scream-son House Treehouse of Horror XXVI Event
Stampede Stores Gift Cards42
Experience100
12h Shops Too Much of a Good Thing Pt. 16
Enjoy a St. Patrick’s Beer Bash Cash500
Experience110
16h O'Flanagan's Pub Dye The Town Green Pt. 6
Train for St. Patrick's Day Beer Bash Cash600
Experience150
24h O'Flanagan's Pub Training Day Pt. 1

Costumes[]

Quotes[]

When Selected When sent on a good job When sent on a bad job When collecting from a job
"Oops, sorry..." "I'll get you your money!" "Oh, not again!" "I-I-I screwed up..."
"I carry around a change purse. Yeah, a purse." "I-I'll show them who's boss! ...asthma-permitting..." "You disappoint me more than I do, Milhouse." "We get paid now, right? Uh, right?"
"I'm pathetic."
"Um, I think you accidentally grabbed my wallet there, pal.”


Trivia[]

  • Kirk is the second character to have two permanent jobs that are the same length of time, the others being Bart and Moe. (Not including Krustyland jobs.)

Gallery[]