“ | I'm here because I have nowhere else to go! | ” |
— Kirk's unlock message
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Kirk is a character released on November 7, 2013 along with the level 37 update. He is unlocked upon completion of the Bachelor Arms Apartments.
About[]
Kirk Evelyn Van Houten is the unemployed father of Milhouse and the ex-husband of Luann.
- Read the full article here at Simpsons Wiki
Jobs[]
Regular[]
Task | Rewards | Time | Requires | Visual |
---|---|---|---|---|
Eat at Krusty Burger | 40 10 |
30m | Krusty Burger | |
Borrow a Self Help Book | 70 17 |
60m | Springfield Library | |
Give a Terrible Job Interview | 135 35 |
3h | Van Brunt & Churchill Ad Agency | |
Cry Sitting Down in the Shower | 175 45 |
4h | Bachelor Arms Apartments | |
Get Career Hypnosis | 260 70 |
4h | Master Hypnotist Tent | |
Hand Out Fliers | 275 70 |
8h | - | |
Hire a Private Eye | 275 70 |
8h | Private Investigator Office | |
Run the Cracker Factory | 420 105 |
8h | Cracker Factory | |
Advertise Condos | 420 100 |
12h | - | |
Protect Crops | 500 125 |
16h | Cletus's Farm | |
Collect Unemployment Check | 600 150 |
24h | Office of Unemployment |
Level Quest Based[]
Task | Rewards | Time | Requires | Quest | Visual |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Dine at El Chemistri | 175 45 |
4h | El Chemistri | Hardly Kirk-Ing Pt. 4 | |
Testify | 350 90 |
4h | Court House and Judge Snyder | Testify! Pt. 1 | |
Work at the Cracker Factory | 275 70 |
8h | Cracker Factory | Hardly Kirk-Ing Pt. 1 | |
Thaw Frozen Hot Dogs in the Sink | 420 100 |
12h | Bachelor Arms Apartments | Weekend Dad Pt. 3 | |
Work as Library Door Monitor | 20* 200 |
12h | Springfield Library | Weekend Dad Pt. 6 | |
Work as Assistant Dishwasher | 20* 200 |
12h | Skip's Diner | Weekend Dad Pt. 10 | |
Get Belittled By Nerds | 20* 200 |
12h | Android's Dungeon | Weekend Dad Pt. 14 | |
Clean Up Fleet-A-Pitas | 500 125 |
16h | Fleet-A-Pita Van | Hardly Kirk-Ing Pt. 2 | |
Work at the School | 20* 200 |
24h | Springfield Elementary | Weekend Dad Pt. 4 | |
Serve Time | 600 150 |
24h | Springfield Penitentiary | Weekend Dad Pt. 7 | |
Gold-Farm in Homer's Happy Little Elves Game | 20* 200 |
24h | Bart's Tree House | Weekend Dad Pt. 11/12 |
*During the questline, Weekend Dad, several of Kirk's jobs have a lower payout than normal.
Event Quest Based[]
Task | Rewards | Time | Requires | Quest | Visual |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Argue | 350 90 |
6h | Van Houten House | Early Squirrel Gets the Nut Pt. 4 |
Quest Based[]
Task | Rewards | Time | Requires | Quest | Visual |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Attend Court Hearing | 175 45 |
4h | Court House | Two Extra Eyes on Springfield Pt. 7 | |
Storm Police Station | 420 100 |
12h | Police Station | Two Extra Eyes on Springfield Pt. 5 | |
Protest | 600 150 |
24h | Channel 6 | Two Extra Eyes On Springfield Pt. 4 |
Limited Time[]
Task | Rewards | Time | Requires | Quest | Visual |
---|---|---|---|---|---|
Attend a Wake for Thanksgiving | 175 45 |
4h | Simpson House | Thankless Thanksgiving Pt. 5 | |
Eat at a Restaurant | 17 45 |
4h | Restaurants | Too Much of a Good Thing Pt. 10 | |
Enjoy a Beer | 17 45 |
4h | Moe's Tavern | Too Much of a Good Thing Pt. 11 | |
Drink Craft Beer | 175 45 |
4h | O'Flanagan's Pub | O'Flan-again Pt. 4 & Pt. 5 | |
Shop for Loved Ones | 22 55 |
6h | Shops | Too Much of a Good Thing Pt. 12 | |
Overeat | 27 70 |
8h | Restaurants | Too Much of a Good Thing Pt. 14 | |
Drink Too Much | 27 70 |
8h | Moe's Tavern | Too Much of a Good Thing Pt. 15 | |
Hunt for the Simpsons | 27 70 |
8h | Homes | Too Much of a Good Thing Pt. 18 | |
Gather At The Simpsons House | 275 24 |
8h | Scream-son House | Treehouse of Horror XXVI Event | |
Stampede Stores | 42 100 |
12h | Shops | Too Much of a Good Thing Pt. 16 | |
Enjoy a St. Patrick’s Beer Bash | 500 110 |
16h | O'Flanagan's Pub | Dye The Town Green Pt. 6 | |
Train for St. Patrick's Day Beer Bash | 600 150 |
24h | O'Flanagan's Pub | Training Day Pt. 1 |
Costumes[]
Quotes[]
When Selected | When sent on a good job | When sent on a bad job | When collecting from a job |
---|---|---|---|
"Oops, sorry..." | "I'll get you your money!" | "Oh, not again!" | "I-I-I screwed up..." |
"I carry around a change purse. Yeah, a purse." | "I-I'll show them who's boss! ...asthma-permitting..." | "You disappoint me more than I do, Milhouse." | "We get paid now, right? Uh, right?" |
"I'm pathetic." | |||
"Um, I think you accidentally grabbed my wallet there, pal.”
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Trivia[]
- Kirk is the second character to have two permanent jobs that are the same length of time, the others being Bart and Moe. (Not including Krustyland jobs.)