"“Dear Mom and Dad, We are staging a revolt against the oppressive counselors, staff and masked wild animals of Kamp Krusty. I never thought I would say this but Bart is our leader."
"Kamp Krusty is a labor camp. We are forced to make myPhone cases and are fed only gruel and off-brand cereal."
"Fortunately Bart had hidden a cache of cherry bombs and silly string somewhere on his body. I don’t like to think where, but he has a lot of stuff. Like, a lot. Ew."
"Today we rise up. We stand behind our leader, Bart. And though we make rabbit ears behind his head, we shall follow him to the end. Pray that we prevail."
"Also, please send conditioner. The kind they use here makes my head itch. Love, Lisa”"
"This is Kent Brockman LIVE outside Kamp Krusty, currently in hands of revolutionaries who have dubbed it... Kamp Bart. Apparently going with the first name they thought of."
"The dissidents, mostly children, were armed with stink bombs, rocks and a dried up, dead toad with which they threatened to touch people with."
"I asked their charismatic leader, Bart Simpson, for an interview. He replied, quote, bring a ton of pizzas and an R rated movie, unquote. I agreed to those terms."
"Hello Bart, would you like to do the interview in your cabin or do a walk and talk by the lake?"
"I‘ll need to know ahead of time so I can adjust my make-up."
"I’m going for a swim, if you want to interview me you’re gonna have to jump in the lake."
"But... my hair... I didn’t shelll out for waterproof! Fine. But keep the camera in close. And don’t show my calves, I hate them."